Deliberations of a Domestic Diva

Letter to My Husband the Engineer

2012-01-20T11:57:00.002-05:00

To My Husband the Engineer:

It's now mid-January of a new year...14 years engaged this year, and 13 years married..."unlucky 13" they say...but they don't know of a Friday the 13th 14 years ago, when you asked, nervous, under dark sky, for forever, and I said yes, and stars sparkled and you slipped a brillliant on my left hand.

We were so happy, so young, and so excited to be starting on this new life, new adventure together. Sixteen months later, I walked down an aisle, dressed in white, nervous but excited...vows of forever, bands of gold, a kiss, and just like that, we were husband and wife. A short honeymoon on that Island of red dirt...and then you were back in classes to finish your degree and become My Engineer. A move to a new province...

We didn't know all the things that we'd encounter on our journey together. A new house, a new neighbourhood. A first job that only lasted two years...a layoff of eight months, that rocked our world and sent us reeling. Trusting God with wanting to start a family and praying for timing and a job. And oh, how perfect was His timing...just weeks after landing a great job, seeing those two faint lines confirm that we were going to be parents.
Disappointment that my grandmother wouldn't be able to know her great-grandchild, as she went home to Jesus in my first trimester. Both of us excitedly setting up a nest for our baby, preparing...and marvelling at my ever-changing body. We survived the Blackout of '03, and we ignored the no air-conditioning warning after we had power, to ease my swollen body into some comfort in August heat. A baby that was a week overdue...and came ahead of her scheduled induction...by c-section (did we even think this would be a possibility, in our desire to do things "right" and "naturally?"), all 10 lbs and 1/4 inch shy of two feet of her.
I had never seen you around babies that much...and I knew you didn't have very much experience with them. But with our DD, you took to it like you'd been doing it all your life. When you brought her back to me in recovery, she looked like she'd been in the crook of your arm forever. You were so tender with her, giving her her first bath, and diaper change in the hospital. And how great you were at taking care of me, with all the post-c-section stuff...doing things for me that I couldn't, helping me with things I needed help with that neither of us conceived (!) of before having her by section. How dependent I felt on you...and you know that I'm not a very dependent person.
A church upheaval after DD's arrival, that really rocked our universe. Having to leave a church, that we thought when we moved up here would be our "forever" church, where we'd raise our kids, and stay. Those months were horrible...truly gut-wrenching, and just when we would think it couldn't get crazier, it did. But it resolved, and we moved on...wounded, healed, and stronger...and smarter, for it. One of those things we'd never choose to go through, but having done it, wouldn't trade it in .
Two years later, our DS arrived...again another section, and you were amazing again at helping me, and doing baby-duty again. We were so much more prepared this time around, more relaxed, and knew what to expect. I was glad we had a son for you.
More job changes, a church change, and other things over the years...and now here we are, coming up on 13 years together. All these things we didn't know, couldn't have known, looking forward after we said "I do" to one another...but oh, what a story we'll have to share with our kids as they get older! It's our own Amazing Race...sometimes there are U turns, sometimes road blocks, sometimes detours...and sometimes we get to the end of a leg, and get that "you have to keep racing" message. There is no one I would rather race with in this life than you. I knew it coming up on 14 years ago, when I answered yes to your proposal...and I knew it when I promised you I do coming up on 13 years.
We're still racing babe! With all my respect,
Your wife the domestic engineer

The January Blahs

2012-01-12T23:30:00.001-05:00

It's winter here in The Great White North. While we had a slow start to our snow-collecting months, it seems we're making up for it now. Today was an interesting mixed-bag of precipitation: ice pellets, freezing rain, and snow, in that order...with a very sharp northerly wind to blow said precipitation into your face. Always makes the walk to school pleasant when you feel like you're being pelted with beebees. I digress, eh?

I don't mind the seasonal changes. I like that I don't live where it's the same season all year long, basically. Even though the winter months are my least favourite, I like the change. One aspect of the change I don't relish, though, is the onslaught of Seasonal Affected Disorder. I hate it. I'm on a mild antidepressant to help. I just had it increased. Yeah. I can pretty much set my clock to when I need to up and then down my antidepressant. It stinks, but it helps me function. Functioning is good...especially when you're a wife and mother.

Let me be clear: I don't take medication to "make me happy." I don't take medication so I can feel "up" all the time. I don't get high off this. It doesn't make me go around spinning and skipping through life with nary a care in the world. I don't take this stuff so I don't have to feel negative emotions and deal with them. That is not it...

I take this so I can get through the day without feeling like I've been dragged through the cat-door backwards. I take this medication so I can get about my day, rather than retiring to my bedroom to sleep (depression tiredness is way different than physical tiredness...worlds apart)...so I can not feel overwhelmed with my house being a mess from having Christmas trees in various states of undecoratedness, and so I can manage myself better so I can in turn manage my kids better. My kids and husband deserve a mom who dresses, showers, and gets out of bed every day...and makes real food for them...and doesn't feel like she's standing on the edge of a cliff looking out into a dark void, about ready to tip over at a moment's notice...and who remembers the things she's supposed to remember in the run of a day.

I hate depression. It's like walking in a perpetual fog all the time...not being able to see clearly...or rather, seeing just enough to be dangerous. That commercial that says depression hurts? Yep, it does...physically. You have to will yourself through the day, and not give into the urge to hibernate and withdraw from everything and everyone. f

So, while I enjoy the changing seasons, it's usually about this time of year, January, where I wish it were April already...

7 Quick Takes Friday - Vol. X AKA How Do I Miss Thee? Let Me Count the Ways

2011-12-24T16:08:00.001-05:00

On this date, 29 years ago, my dad was killed in a car accident. I was six at the time, my brother was two, and my Mom wasn't much older than I am now. I thought I would do my Quick Takes about my dad.

1. My dad set the bar high for me, in terms of what to look for in a husband. I may have only been six when he died, but one thing that is etched in my memory is the love and respect he had for my Mom..and how he would not tolerate disrespect or backtalk to Mom from either myself or my brother.

2. I missed my dad a lot in high school, especially in late Grade 11 and Grade 12. All my other friends had their dads there to take them out to learn how to drive, to the prom, etc. I didn't have that...and I missed it a lot.

3. I missed my dad next when I got engaged. Although my husband the engineer went and talked to my Mom before proposing, I wish my dad would have been there to talk to him, too. A part of me hurts that my husband the engineer never got to know my dad...they'd have been fast friends, I think, and double trouble with practical jokes.

4. I missed my dad when I graduated with my BA. I know he'd have been proud to see me graduate from university. He'd have been very interested, I think, based on the books on his bookshelves, in my BA in History and Classical Studies. It would have been interesting to discuss with him what I was studying.

5. And then, my wedding day. How does a daughter NOT miss her dad on her wedding day? No photos of Daddy walking me down the aisle, giving me away, driving me to the church, perhaps having a father/daughter dance at the reception.

6. The birth of our children, DD and DS...bittersweet not to call and talk to Daddy after they were born. I feel a twinge of sadness that my children haven't gotten to grow up knowing their grandfather. He'd have been SUCH a fun and good grandpa to them. I think he'd have really relished having grandkids around, and taken great delight in them.

7. Just the everyday things. I sometimes miss that I can't call Dad to get his advice on this or that; to ask questions of parenting advice; just to call and talk to him about whatever happened that day; getting the kids to talk to him on the phone; my husband getting the chances to talk to him about everyday things, man to man.

For more Quick Takes, go on over to Jen's!

Last Week of Advent Daybook

2011-12-20T17:01:00.001-05:00

Outside My Window

It's 5:10 p.m. and it's dark now. This time of year, it gets dark around 4:30 p.m. In some ways I don't mind...the SAD part of me minds, though. It's looking like we in the Ottawa area are going to have a green Christmas. Boo.

I Am Listening To

DD is watching Curious George, PVR'd from this morning.

I Am Wearing

Black leggings, tunic-length charcoal grey sweater. The closest I can get to pyjamas for now.

I Am Thankful For

Having all the Christmas shopping done, and some gifts wrapped and ready to distribute.

I Am Pondering

How to get caught up on housework AND get the rest of my Christmas baking done...I need Calvin & Hobbes' replicator.

I Am Reading

How to Read the Bible for All Its Worth, A Praying Life and Grace for the Good Girl. And the latest edition of Canada's History Magazine.

I Am Thinking

About maybe learning to knit? We'll see.

I Am Creating

Not so many crafts this week. But I did create a batch of Shortbread Cookies and a batch of Chocolate Crinkles. I hope to do another batch of Shortbread Cookies, a batch of my Grandmother's Raspberry Bars, and a batch of Cookie Treats...and maybe Holiday Fruitbread (banana bread with chopped nuts, maraschino cherries, and chocolate chips in it).

On My Ipod

Same old same old.

On the car CD player: Stuart McLean's Vinyl Cafe on CD.

Toward Rhythm & Beauty

Ah me, I've been sick with this never-ending cold. Last week I was sick for 2 days and thought that was it...it was enough to set me back with stuff though. It returned with a vengeance on the weekend, and made itself nicely at home in my sinuses. My headaches are going away, but now my voice sounds like a 65 year old chainsmoker and is on the verge of disappearing. Energy is a tad low. I'd rather be sleeping, honestly.

So, rhythm and beauty need a hand....someday soon, hopefully. :)

To Live the Liturgy

...yeah, about that...

I Am Hoping & Praying

For an online sister in Christ and her family...praying for healing and that her family would be strengthened and encouraged.

That this dang cold would go away and stay away.

For the salvation of my kids; for my husband's employer to prosper and be blessed.

In the Garden

All is quiet till spring.

Around the House

Some cleaning; some wrapping of gifts and stuffing of stockings; some more baking; a roast in the crockpot tonight; some more delicious meals later in the week; Christmas dinner at my in-law's on Sunday. Should be a full week!

Seven Quick Takes-Vol. IX

2011-12-18T15:10:00.000-05:00

This week's Quick Takes are going to be focused mainly on my Christmas tree and some favourite decorations. Here's the tree:

1. This ornament is one of my favourites. I have 2 of them. I love monkeys, they have always been my favourite animal. I adore sock monkeys.

2. I love, love, love Willow Tree figurines. I have 11 of the figurines, and one plaque. One Christmas, my in-laws got this ornament for me as part of my Christmas gift. It's now one of my favourites.

3. This ornament is the only one I have that is from my grandmother. She made these for her grandkids one year for Christmas. My grandmother passed away in 2003, not having met either of my children. I was in my first trimester with DD when she passed away. We had just told everyone our news before she passed away. This ornament reminds me of her.

4. This ornament is one that is representative of where my husband the engineer proposed to me, 14 years ago this coming March. The place is Officer's Square in downtown Fredericton. This ornament was made by Aitkens Pewter, pewtersmiths who are in Fredericton. I love their things!

5. This ornament is one that was made by a New Brunswick artist, Catherine Karnes Munn. She painted prints of various famous period houses and sites, mostly in New Brunswick, but also around the Maritime provinces. This one is of Green Gables, in Cavendish PEI, the home of fictional character, Anne of Green Gables (among my favourite fiction books, by Lucy Maud Montgomery). My husband the engineer and I honeymooned in PEI, and yes, we did go to Green Gables in Cavendish. I have absolutely no photographs of that part of our honeymoon. The film didn't advance through my camera (back in the dark ages), even though the counter kept counting...and thus I had no photos of Green Gables, L.M. Montgomery's birthplace, and a few other favourite spots in PEI.

6. This ornament, really isn't a Christmas ornament, per se. My Mom crocheted these hats for pew markers for our wedding. We were married in August of 1999. It was so humid that August. I don't know how the starch held for these, but they did. I gave some of the pew markers away to close friends and family, and kept 3 for myself, two of which hang on our Christmas tree. I love these. Our wedding colours were burgundy and white.

7. This final ornament is very special to me. My Grade One teacher gave us out little ornaments at Christmastime. This was always a special ornament to me because, not only did my Grade One teacher give me that, and she was one of my favourite teachers, but, my dad passed away the 23rd of December that same year. When I was little, I always felt close to my dad when I hung this on the tree, and it reminded me of him, and of my Grade One teacher.

Those are my Quick Takes. For more, go over to Jen's!

{PHFR} Christmas-Style

2011-12-15T09:11:00.000-05:00

I haven't linked up for {PHFR} in quite awhile. Life got busy and things got in the way of me blogging regularly. So, now I'm back!

I love this time of year...I love decorating our home with Pretty things like this:

And this:

I also made these:

And these:

Not the candles and other items, but the Winter letters in the frames.

I also made this:

And this:

I got this lovely piece at a Christmas craft market:

The artisan from whom I purchased this, makes rings, bracelets, watches, necklaces, earrings, wind chimes, hooks, and all kinds of things out of antique cutlery. I thought it was the neatest thing. This ring is made from an old spoon handle!

{Happy}, or, happily, I decided to swap out the shades on the light fixture over our table. They were white once upon a time, but now, they are a dingy off-white, and the seams on them have yellowed considerably. I didn't take a before picture to show you. However, I swapped the shades for this instead:

The berries are dark red and the stars are rusty. Here's what the whole she-bang looks like:

I am happy with how this tree decal turned out. However, if I had taken pictures of the piece in-progress, it would have been in the "Real" category. OMW, what a pain in the neck. Thankfully this tree was in one piece, but somehow, during the transfer process, the transfer sheet folded on itself, of course...and it was the sticky side...so I had to peel it carefully and hope that it didn't rip in the process. As if that wasn't enough, the sticky side did not want to adhere to the wall at all...hardly one section wanted to stick. It's fine now that it's up, but I was not a happy camper putting this blasted thing up.

This makes me happy...and the candles are my favourite scent: Chai Latte. Yum!!!!

{Funny}

I'm trying to experiment with self-pictures. 'Nuff said.

Moving right along, next is {Real}:

I made these Red Velvet cupcakes. I used the President's Choice Red Velvet baking mix, as it is natural and has no food dyes in it. They were really delicious. I made the icing swirls from buttercream icing (homemade). YUM!!!!
In reality, this is what my kitchen looked like:

Sadly, at the time, the Sens weren't doing so hot in their hockey game, so the score fit right in as well:

But then, this is real too, and it makes me happy, and it's pretty...and funny (I have 2 sock monkey ornaments on our tree):

For more {PHFR} hook up over here:

Why My Good Enough is Good Enough

2011-12-14T13:05:00.000-05:00

I'm a perfectionist, by nature and at heart. My default setting is to not do a thing unless I can do it perfectly. I can pick out every mistake in my piano-playing, crafting, recipes, scrapbooking, card-making, etc. This even spills over into my spiritual life...I see only the days that I didn't get my time with God, that I didn't pray, that I didn't pray for this or that person, or this or that issue. I see where I missed an opportunity to share, to encourage.
So, it's no surprise that I'm this way as a parent, as well. I have never, ever been able to say about myself that I'm a good Mom. It even took me till my children were both in school before I could say that I gave birth to them...because they were both C-section deliveries, I felt I couldn't say that I delivered them. I still catch myself referring to their births as "being taken out of me" or some other expression like that.
In my vocation as Mom, I can only see, most of the time all the things I did wrong, or didn't do, or omitted doing. My laundry list of things, most days, is pretty darned long. "I should have put that in their lunchbox...why did I forget that today was the day they needed X for school...I shouldn't have yelled at them...I should have disciplined for that...I shouldn't have disciplined for that...I should be reading more...I should be baking with them..I should be...I shouldn't be..."
All I can hear in my head, when I do do something right (oh, that rare event) is this voice saying "Yes, you did that, but you didn't do it this way, and you should have done that...and what about this over here? How dare you say you are a good parent?" It's like preparing a dinner or a recipe for someone, and instead of them just leaving it at "that was good" they have to point out that it was good, but it would taste better with this in it instead of that. Or, instead of thanking someone for a job well done, feeling the need to point out every little area that was not done right, not done "up to snuff" or something. Talk about taking the wind out of one's sails!
You know what is sad? I believe in the Doctrines of Grace. I do not believe you have to earn or work for God's grace, mercy, love or for our salvation. The whole point of the Gospel is that we cannot do it...the wonder is that God does it for us...beginning with the advent of His Son, and culminating in His death on the cross and resurrection. But yet...I struggle with who I am in Christ...I get stuck in seeing what is so wrong with myself now, that I struggle with how God can see me complete in His Son. That when He looks at me, I am forgiven, redeemed, restored, forgiven, transformed....and that all is grace.
I am forever holding myself to a standard I cannot ever hope to attain to, and that God Himself doesn't even hold me to. By doing this, I pay lip-service to believing that all is grace and God is grace and His mercy endures forever. My own name means grace, grace-filled, or graceful one! I am my own judge, jury and executioner...I bypass God, go directly to jail and do not collect $200. I make an idol out of the unattainable, set myself up for disappointment over and over, and is it any wonder I'm so short-fused with myself?
So for the past week, I've been not focusing on what I am not doing right, or what I am struggling/failing at (not to say that it doesn't matter at all), but instead have been choosing to zero in on what I am doing right and what I am having small victories in and what successes there are.
I am a good mom to my kids. I am not perfect, no one is. But I am a good mom, and I will NOT let the "fact" that I am not perfect keep me from thinking of myself as a good mom, or referring to myself as a good mom. I love my kids, I love to spend time with them, I think they are cool little people. Do I do all my baking with them? No. Sometimes I don't want them to, and sometimes they don't want to...sometimes, they want to watch and sometimes they want to chat with me while I do this or that. Do I lose my cool with them? Yes, and every mom does. But does that mean I'm not a good mom because I lose it once in awhile? No. Permit me to insert here, David was called "a man after God's own heart" and he wasn't perfect.
The reason my good enough is good enough, is because in God's eyes it IS good enough. He came for my good enough...and redeems it and shapes it and molds it and uses it for His glory and it's good enough. ALL is grace...even the messy, the imperfect, the not measured up to...all is grace because of His mercy and His wisdom taking those broken places and broken hearts and broken people and using them to display HIS glory, HIS mercy, HIS love, and HIS grace.
So I will shout it out loud: I AM a good mom...take that, Satan when you try and whisper in my ear that I shouldn't say that about myself...and try and make me a useless Christian by keeping me in bondage to your lies.
His grace is enough for my not good enough...and for my good enough.

Seven Quick Takes-Vol. VIII

2011-12-09T20:05:00.001-05:00

1. I think I have all our Christmas shopping done! This year, we started buying gifts early, so we weren't rushing out last minute to get things. I like that.

2. I just need to take care of the teacher gifts, both for school and for Sunday School. I think I'm going to make those ones, plus I have some of my pickle stash left too...those are always a big hit.

3. I'm really not digging this "winter" weather we're having. For those of you not from around these here parts (!), I live in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. While we aren't living in igloos, skiing all year-round, skating and tobogganing to work every day, usually by this time of year we have some serious snow down, and can no longer see brownish-greenish stuff. We had snow, enough that we could make a snowman...but then it went up to about 12 C for a few days afterwards, and no snow. Now we have some but it's rather see-through. We've had a lot of rain. Which means that...

4. Dressing the kids for school in the morning is, shall we say, interesting. It can be cold enough to want hats, mitts, boots and snowsuits on in the morning, but by mid-day, it can be pretty darn warm out wearing all that stuff. And also? Because of the rain and not much snow, the playground at the kids' school is a mud-hole. So, I'm laundering snowsuits a lot...and hoping they will make it through to ~~when~~ if we get some serious "real" snow.

5. Reading that, I just realized how typically Canadian I am: I just discussed the weather and snow over 2 paragraphs. Eh?!

6. I picked up The Vinyl Cafe 4 CD Family stories set at Costco for a mere $12.99. Seriously?!!! The best. car. drives. ever!!!! I'm now on the 4th CD and am mid-way through Dave and the Duck. I would highly recommend The Vinyl Cafe to any of you, especially Dave Cooks the Turkey. Check it out on Youtube, and you, too, will have a good laugh!

7. Here's a little something I've been up to lately:

I made these today instead of doing housework.....

For more quick takes, pop on over to Jen's.

Early Advent Daybook

2011-12-07T08:31:00.001-05:00

Outside My Window

It is rather overcast out this morning. Everything is kind of blanketed with a very thin blanket of snow...very thin...as in, almost see-through.

I Am Listening To

DD eating her breakfast bagel and the busyness of both children getting ready for school.

I Am Wearing

Dark jeans, dark chocolate cami, red-blend cashmere handkerchief-hem open-front cardigan...from Marks & Spencer!!!!

I Am Thankful For

The waiting of Advent...the silent counting of days anticipating Our Saviour's birth; for my husband the engineer who works hard and enjoys his job; for kids who make it all worth it; for friends.

I Am Pondering

Why I didn't get that magazine that had a picture of a cute hairstyle that would look awesome on me...I'm pondering this knowing I have no time to find it in a store on my way to get my haircut this morning. Dang.

I Am Reading

I haven't been reading much of anything lately. I've not been in a book-y or read-y mood lately. However, my large stack of books includes these:

Grace for the Good Girl, How to Read the Bible for All Its Worth, Lights, Camera, Disaster (McDonald Hall Gordon Korman book), The Praying Life.

I Am Thinking

Of the things I need to do today; of how I can swing by the drugstore and try and find that magazine with the picture of the cute hairstyle; of how yummy coffee is in the early morning; that this day will probably be a little crazy.

I Am Creating

I'm taking a break from creating...just till next Wednesday's Stamp Club that is! This week is too busy...and Kidz Choir Christmas play at church this weekend, with dress rehearsal as well, will keep the weekend full. Fun, but full.

On My Ipod

Same old, same old. But in the car CD player? The Vinyl Cafe on audio CDs...a 4 CD set that was $12.99 at Costco. Oh yes!!! I almost drove off the road laughing so hard yesterday at the story of Dave at the dentist...

Toward Rhythm & Beauty

I'm slowly finding a rhythm to my days...except for today, when I overslept by about 1.5 hours, thus missing my chunk of time for quiet coffee, prayer and meditating before the busyness of the day, it has been well this week, rhythm-wise.

Beauty wise: oh yes, the house is decorated for the season! The tree is up, and after finding 2 strings of lights not working (after putting them away all in working order in January when the tree came down), we bit the bullet and got all LED lights for the tree. It's a riot of red, green, vanilla, greenery, silver, and other seasonal and Christmas touches. I love it. Favourite colour combo for this time of year: cranberry red and silver. Bliss!

To Live the Liturgy

...because isn't that what matters, really? Isn't that what He's after in us, during this time of anticipating and waiting? To live His words. We are reading nightly, a gorgeous Jesse Tree Advent devotional, by Ann Voskamp. I love how each story points to the coming Messiah. I love how it weaves the Old Testament narratives into the coming of The Word, and the grace in it all. Each night we move the candle in the spiral one step closer to the 25th.

I Am Hoping & Praying
For continued personal growth & direction; for a couple of friends who are struggling right now; for peace on a couple of matters I'm wrestling with.

In the Garden
A typical Canadian garden in winter: brown, dead, and dormant, under a smattering of snow. I am wondering though, how the plants are faring in this schizophrenic weather we've been having...spring will tell the tale.

Around the House
Things are starting to get back into a routine here. Amazing what regulating sleep/wake patterns and determination will do! Just a few things to catch up on housework this week, perhaps a bit of baking to do, and getting ready for the kids' Christmas play this weekend. And perhaps an hour or so snuck here and there, curled up in a chair with a cup of coffee and a good book, good music, and gently falling snow...a girl can dream, right?

7 Quick Takes - Vol. VII

2011-11-04T20:40:00.002-04:00

Wow, so it's been awhile since I did Quick Takes.

1) This fall has gone by so fast...school started the day after Labour Day, followed (in order) by: Mom visiting for a week, my brother visitng for 4 days in that week, DS's birthday, DD's birthday, my husband the engineer's birthday, Thanksgiving (we're Canadian and Canadian Thanksgiving is the 2nd weekend in October), a week's trip to London, England (accompanying my husband the engineer for one week of a 2 week work trip for him), my birthday, my FIL's birthday, and Hallowe'en. Whew...that's insane just seeing it typed out like that, eh?!

2) This fall has brought a big change to my routine and life as a SAHM: both of my children are now in school full days.

3) However, with this freedom has come an odd sense

4) What am I? What am I to do? Where should I direct and focus my time, energies, gifts and talents? What are my priorities?

5) Along with this confused and odd sense, comes another sense that I haven't felt before...one of feeling the need to validate and legitimize my staying at home, despite the fact that for the bulk of my day, no one is physically at our home requiring my care.

6) One thing I know for sure: for our family, there is no option of me going to work/back to work/searching for a "real" job. The impact that such a decision would have would negatively affect our family in ways that any wage I would earn would not balance out.

7) In the meantime, I am trying to figure out a daily routine that will work for me, have spent time getting to know friends better, gotten in touch with some other friends again after too long, and am just generally trying to feel out what I should be doing. I am enjoying this time, but also am trying to find a place to solidly plant my feet. So I try and remember that people are more important than things, and always, I try and remember to

As always, head on over to Jennifer's blog for more Quick Takes!

Grey With a Side of Red

2011-10-20T13:16:00.000-04:00

It's a grey day out today...the wind blows cold, signalling a change in the months. The sun says goodnight earlier each night, earth tilting just a touch further from her warming rays each day. Rain comes down...a rain that pierces into you and makes your bones cold. The kind of days that make you want to curl up under a quilt with a cup of something warm to drink and a favourite book...perchance to nap.
But as I gaze out my window on this day of grey, the red, how it stands out against the darker background. The darkening reds of the sumac leaves, stubbornly clining to branches. The deeper pinky-red of the burning-bushes around my neighbourhood, and the occasional reds of maple trees here and there. That deep, autumnal red, is my favourite colour. On a sunny day, the reds blend in with the riot of golds, oranges, yellows, all blending into a palette of brightness. On a day such as this, the reds just dance...they sing...even though the skies are darker, their colours shine.
And so it is with this life we lead in Christ...the blacker the world gets around us, the more our light stands out and shines for what it is...a reflection of His glory in and around us. That light annalogy in Matthew? It only works when the backdrop is dark...and the darker the backdrop, the more brightly the light shines; the more the light stands out in stark contrast with what is around it.
"...that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world..." Phillipians 2:15 (ESV).

In the Still of the Night...Thoughts on the NHL, Suicide and Depression

2011-09-28T00:20:00.000-04:00

It's almost midnight. All is quiet in our home, but for the sound of the refrigerator humming and the clock marking its measured beats in a steady tick-tock. My family is in bed, sleeping, where I should be, as well. But I can't right now...I have too much going on inside this curly head of mine.

This summer, the NHL lost 2 players and 1 retired player due to suicide/accidental overdose. I won't go into all the ins and outs and roundabouts, as so many other columnists and pundits have bandied this about for so long. I will say, though, I hope these incidents, and others in the past, will make the NHL mucky-mucks take more seriously the role of enforcer, as well as take more seriously hits to the head. The NFL has a rule: grab the mask or helmet, and you're out of the game. Not only do you lose, potentially, but your bad play costs your team in terms of lost yardage and being down a player. Now, it isn't about you anymore...it's about the other guys on the field having to make do for your dumb decision in the heat of the moment. I wonder...what if the NHL decided to penalize a player for making a head-shot, but also, have that player out the rest of the game? Perhaps that line would always have to play 4 men on the ice instead of 5? I don't know if that's even feasible...all I know is, young guys in their prime going the way these guys did isn't the answer. In the pit of my stomach, I have a sense that the only thing that will make the NHL take this seriously is if a player dies on-ice in the middle of a game. Then, they will be forced, for once and for all, to take the issue seriously.

The thing that's got me thinking about this is that I'm watching the current season of The Battle of the Blades. For those of you not in the know, this is a show on the CBC, which pairs former NHL players with pairs or dance figure skaters. This season, for the first time, a member of Canada's women's hockey team is paired with a male figure skating partner. Also, this season was supposed to have had Wade Belak in it..but he didn't even get past bootcamp. Wade was 35, my age. He left behind a wife and 2 little girls. Now, a young woman will have to make her way in life alone, without the love of her life with her, and the father of her children. Now, 2 little girls will grow up with only memories of their Daddy. A family will be forever changed, an empty chair at every meal and gathering a silent witness to the darkness that leads to suicide.

Michael Landsberg, TSN host of Off the Record, wrote a lovely article about his friendship with Wade Belak, and about their common struggle with depression. You can find it on tsn.ca, or just Google it. It made me think, though....what a world we've created for ourselves, where the only option a 35 year old young man could think of to deal with his struggle(s) with depression, was at the end of a rope by his own hand. What a world we've created for our kids, where the ultimate independent act is to take your own life. What a world we've created where we have every conceiveable mode of communication, but yet fail to authentically communicate, get to know, and interact with one another at a meaningful level....where we don't encourage deep relationships with one another.

The saddest thing of all? This happens in our church communities. Talk about a conversation stopper...mention you deal with depression, or worse yet, that you take medication for it. What? You don't see depression as a spiritual, or sin, issue? Your faith in God isn't big enough to avoid medicating yourself into happiness? Small wonder women, even in Christian circles, don't talk about PPD at all, or very seriously...the "baby blues" doesn't even come CLOSE to describing what some women feel and go through...in silence. Of all places, our churches and faith communities should be THE places to talk about, discuss, encourage, and support one another. They should be the places Joe Schmo turns to in his struggles.

Sadly, that is not the case. Even in the church, authentic and real relationships aren't encouraged. They are talked about, preached on, expounded upon, and discussed. But at the end of the service, everyone puts their plastic smiles on, "smiles and waves" like the Penguins of Madagascar do, and goes out into yet another week of the same old, same old. Seriously folks, this is all we have to offer each other and a broken world????? In the words of Mr. Holland's Opus, "our best isn't good enough." WHEN will we learn to be open and vulnerable with one another...to take the risk of stepping out and being real and walking this messy life together, instead of apart, and grinding our gears through it all? Is this really the abundant life Jesus talked about? Is this really what His kingdom should look like?

How many Wades are in our churches each week? How many of us walk that line, and don't dare mention it to a soul? How many of us put the plastic on on Sundays, and then fall apart the minute we walk in the door at home after the service? How many of us would take the time to truly pour into another's life and invest in a real relationship with them? Folks, Jesus demands so much more of us than this...and it's time to show each other and a watching world what can happen when we let His light in and shine into our every situation and relationship. We owe it to the Wades among us....and we owe it to our God.

The Day the Towers Fell

2011-09-11T17:52:00.002-04:00

Ten years ago...that's a long time, but in many ways, not long at all.
Ten years ago, my husband the engineer was working for, then, Alcatel.
Ten years ago, we had a cat named Zeke.
Ten years ago, I worked at our local College's Registrar's Office.
Ten years ago, we attended a different church.
Ten years ago, we had no children.
Ten years ago...the World Trade Centre still stood, that is, until September 11th.

I remember that day...bright, sunny, and the perfect September day here. I slept in a little later than usual. I had just worked full time hours, although my job was part time, because of the Fall intake at the College (always our busiest time of year), and that day was my first day off, going back to part time hours. At the time, I was a bit of a news junkie, and it had been a couple weeks since I had last sat down to watch the news, beyond just the headlines. So, that morning, after finishing my breakfast, I poured myself a cup of coffee and sat down to watch CNN and "catch up with the world."

Minutes after turning the TV on, I sat in stunned disbelief, watching as the first plane hit the World Trade Centre. It was surreal...I flipped the channel to be sure of what I thought I was seeing. I thought for sure, after the first plane, that it must have been a plane off-course. I saw the second plane hit, and my stomach sunk...I felt ill. And I somehow knew that it wasn't an accident, then. This was "an on purpose," as I say to my children. I was almost literally glued to my couch for most of the rest of the day, apart from running out to get groceries. There was NO ONE out at the stores when I went. And, I noticed, for the first time, the skies above our house were eerily silent. Our neighbourhood is under one of the flight paths into the Ottawa Airport, and we have planes going over quite frequently. I came home, and continued watching the news channels the rest of the day. I knew I was watching history, and for my generation, this would be our "JFK moment." That, one day, I would be explaining to my kids what 9/11 was...and telling them where I was, what I was doing, and what was happening in my life and our world at that time....about why it changed our world...and how it changed our world. The next day, I bought every newspaper I could find, and made a scrapbook or two of the 9/11 tragedy. I bought a couple of magazines too. Ever the history buff, I journaled and wrote about it some, too. One of the images I will never forget, was of seeing people jumping out of the towers...it was horrifying, sad, tragic, and sickening all at once.

It was a stark moment in my life, a clear depiction of the depravity of the human heart, apart from the work of Jesus Christ. In one way, I wish I had never seen that TV report that moment, but in another way, I am glad I did see that, and that I stayed and watched as long as I did. It was an historical moment, a moment of change, a watershed in the way North America has dealt with the rest of the world and conducted foreign affairs. It was a watershed for me too...I wasn't the same person after watching that...while not terrified to go out, I was more aware of things...more on guard. I was more serious in some respects...it takes that edge of the last bit of naivete off of you, seeing something like that unfold live in front of you, even if it is on TV. I also saw a more open and human way about people in the general public after that, and that was a nice thing that came out of that tragedy.

I pray that as this 10th anniversary day closes, we will all remember to pray for the families who are bereaved of loved ones, pray for our nations, pray for our armed forces and first responders, pray for our government leaders. And pray that God would continue to bless, and show His great mercy and love on us all...and that He would use these events for His honour and glory.

In Honour of Labour Day

2011-09-05T14:18:00.000-04:00

I saw this post on We Are That Family and thought I would do the same here, in honour of Labour Day.

How long were you in labour?
DD: Over 30 hours.
DS: No labour at all (scheduled C-section).

How did you know you were in labour?
DD: My water broke, and I started having mild contractions.
DS: NA.

Where did you deliver?
The Queensway-Carleton Hospital Birthing Centre.

Drugs?
DD: Shot of pain-killer in my hip to take the edge off contractions, 0-10 with nothing other than that. During labour I had nitrous oxide, and while I was waiting for DD to drop past -1, I had an epidural. During her subsequent C-section, they topped up my epidural with a cocktail that included morphine.
DS: Spinal block.

C-section?
Yes, for both.
DD: I was over 30 hours in labour, she was posterior, and her head was stuck, making her not drop. They decided to do a section for her. When they took her out of me, it was discovered she was 10 lbs and 5 oz, and 23.5 inches long...and that was a week overdue, too. No wonder she was stuck!
DS: Myself, my husband the engineer, and my OB decided it was best if I had a scheduled section for DS. I wasn't a good candidate for VBAC. So, they booked me for a section 1 week prior to my due date. When they went in to get him out, he was head down, and posterior. At one week before his due date, his weight was 9 lbs. 11 oz., and he was just over 22 inches long. I probably would have been in the same boat with DS as I was with DD if I had decided to try VBAC. I'm thankful I listened to my OB.

Who delivered?
DD: Not my OB, the one who was on-call. He did a good job and was very kind in telling me I needed to have a section. The doctor assisting him was one who had filled in for my OB while he was on summer vacation, and she remembered me. She was really sweet, and she was the one in the OR who called my daughter's weight at 10 lbs when they took her out, before they weighed her!
DS: My OB delivered my son, and it was nice having a familiar face there. He was so kind and patient, and put me at ease. He was relaxed, but not a careless relaxed. Had good classic rock playing in the OR as they delivered my son. I can't say enough about him. Bonus: hardly any scar!!!

First of September Daybook

2011-09-01T19:31:00.001-04:00

Outside My Window
Grey, dark skies, harbinging an evening rainstorm, or perhaps thunderstorm. The back yard is quiet now. Hostas are in bloom, rosebush is flourishing, and my Aster is patiently waiting to bring forth her mauve blossoms...soon?

I Am Listening To
The swish-hum of my dishwasher...The Backyardigans Mountie On Patrol episode that the kids are watching...the thunk-thunk of dryerballs in my dryer, drying a load of laundry.

I Am Wearing
A bright coral-coloured top, jeans, Amos pewter sand-dollar necklace.

I Am Thankful For
A good week on my own; a MIL who ~~likes~~ loves spending time with her grandkids and giving her DIL a sanity break or two; that it's the last week of summer break before school goes in next Tuesday.

I Am Pondering
Meal ideas for next week.

I Am Reading
How To Read the Bible for All Its Worth by Gordon Fee and Douglas Stewart...honestly a hands-down favourite, and a STEAL on the clearance shelf at the Christian bookstore in my Mom's city at $6.99. Glad I scooped it!
Just Jane by Nancy Moser. I haven't started in on this yet, but will this weekend. Can't wait!
The Zucchini Warriors by Gordon Korman...I just love the adventures of Bruno and Boots in the MacDonald Hall series.
A Praying Life by Paul Miller. Just read the introduction and forward. I can't wait to dig deeper into this book, and suspect God has some work to do in me as I read this.

I Am Thinking
About ideas for decorating my home for fall, now that it is September! I am also thinking about how 8 and 6 years ago respectively, I was in the last few weeks of pregnancy with DD and DS...

I Am Creating
More card ideas...a couple of framed art projects for 2 frames on my desk...changing my "mantelscape" to say Autumn instead of Fall, with co-ordinating fall paper!!!

On My Ipod
Been a long time, dunno....

Toward Rhythm & Beauty
I am getting back into the fall/schoolyear rhythm next week. I hope to start my wake times with DH each morning, to carve out a few minutes to lay out our day with one another before heading off towards our respective jobs for the day. The kids are getting back into the rhythm of the schoolyear as well. We all need this after 2 months of free-floating. This summer has shown me yet again, how I need to structure my summer days and weeks more, and hopefully next year, I will do a better job. One of my projects this fall will be to come up with a list of ideas and a routine to use daily for next summer.

To Live the Liturgy
My personal quiet time has taken a back seat this week. With DH away on business, I've not been able to sleep well at night (which hasn't been a problem before), and thus my morning quiet time has just not happened. I have noticed the negative impact of that each day...it doesn't take long, or much really to throw one off. Next week, we'll get back in the saddle again.

I Am Hoping & Praying
Hoping to get to see DH tomorrow before I head out with a friend for the weekend.
Praying that DHs flight home goes well tomorrow and that he gets in on time, etc. Also praying he has a good weekend with the kids.

In the Garden
Not much is happening...it's been a hot and dry summer here in the Ottawa Valley, and things are rather on the crunchy side.

Around the House
I am caught up on all housework but for vacuuming and neatening/dusting the basement, cleaning the fridge, and doing the ironing. Everything else is taken care of quite well, and I have had great success in getting both of my kids in helping out around the house. DD earned some extra money to her allowance this week for helping me out above & beyond.

In Which Ramona and Beezus is my Ungluing

2011-08-30T22:20:00.003-04:00

It all started last year...our DD, 7, got the Ramona Quimby bug when the movie Ramona and Beezus came out. Then, Scholastic, Chapters, Indigo, and all other purveyors of the printed page started carrying the Ramona Quimby books by Beverly Cleary. I read those books when I was DD's age...and loved every page of them. I read, and re-read those classic books many times throughout elementary school...laughing at all the scrapes that Ramona seemed to get herself into.

The movie hit the theatres, and while my intentions were to have a girls' movie night out with DD to see Ramona and Beezus, it just never happened. School, life, the hectic toing and froing of daily life got in the way. So, this week, while DH was away on business, and my dear ILs took DS for an overnighter, I decided to pick up the DVD and have a girls' night in with DD and watch the movie...and how well-done it was. An excellent, funny, quirky, enjoyable family movie.

What I was not prepared for, was one scene that would bring back an ache, a longing, and hot emotion spilling down my cheeks. This scene was an emotional ungluing for me, one that I hadn't counted on, and hadn't felt for so long...

I still miss my Dad. That movie scene triggered such an intense emotion for me. It's been forever since I've felt that strongly about missing my Dad. He's been gone for 29 years now...I was 6 when he died. I think the last time I had an emotional moment like this was when DD and DS were born. I haven't had a moment like that, one in which I was just feeling the hurt again, even for a little bit, of how much I missed Dad, for me...and not a moment tied to a milestone, a memory, etc. Just an intense, emotional ache and emptiness.

I'm in my mid-thirties now, and sometimes, you just want your dad. I hadn't counted on feeling that or encountering that when I sat down to watch that movie last night. I don't begrudge watching the movie; in fact, I can't wait to watch it again. I hadn't felt that stinging loss in so long...and it reminded me again of how much I've missed, and my kids have missed, in not having him here with us. It still hurts, though in a different way now, than it did when I was 6.

It all goes to show, you never get too old to miss your Dad...and sometimes, no one will do, but Dad.

Still missing him, 29 years later.

"Bless the Lord, O My Soul..."

2011-07-08T21:51:00.004-04:00

It's the end of the day and all I can think of is the list of everything that did not get "accomplished:" The laundry only half-done; the collections of dust on every horizontal surface in my home; the packing for our trip not started... As well? The impatience, the snapping, the bickering, the short temperedness at the children...
One year ago, this would have spun me into the depths of despair, to quote Anne Shirley. A year ago, that would be all that I would focus on for the next __ hours. I would forget Whose I was. I would forget that His mercy and grace meet me whereever I am. I would forget to go to sacred words and let their ancient streams wash my weary and broken heart and soul. I would be so focused on the umpteenth time I've screwed up and why can't I be that perfect, smiling Mom who never gets angry at her children, always is kind, and never says a cross word to anyone? Just one year ago, that would have done me in.
Tonight, I turn my thoughts here, to familiar words, the first lines of which are stuck in my head. Words written by a shepherd-king, who was all too familiar with picking himself up out of the miry pit, reminding his soul Whose he was, and finding peace in God's mercy. "Bless the Lord my soul....and all that is within me bless His name...," I say to myself. Quickly I find my Bible, and look up "bless" in its concordance...and flip to:
Psalm 103:1-5
Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me , bless his holy name! Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all you iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
These words were brought to my mind at just the right time. I heeded the tug at my soul, found my Bible, and renewed my heart and mind in His word. As I meditated, I felt the words sinking deep, deep, down into my heart...as water is drawn into the earth by plants thirsting for nourishment.
My house is still here. The things need doing. The dryer & washer hum away. The kids bicker and argue in the background. I am still tired from the day and from the squirrelliness of the kids. But in these brief moments in His word, I find balm for my soul, and refocus my sense of direction and purpose here. It puts the anxiousness welling up in my chest, at rest.
Now, I just need to remember this all the other times this will happen...

Muchas Monday on Tuesday - Post-Canada Day Ed.

2011-07-05T19:19:00.002-04:00

I am late getting my post of thankfulness out this week, yet again.
This week, counting down, I am giving thanks for:

346. An hour of quiet reading during the afternoon on the couch with DD and a pile of books.
347. Gorgeous sunshiney days.
348. Smelling wild roses and honeysuckle while walking DD to school.
349. The beginnings of incorporating hard stops during my day to pray the hours...grounding my thoughts, my day, and my soul in Him.
350. Always praying for dear J.D. and her beloved husband...so heavy on my thoughts and prayers.
351. The honour and privilege of being a true friend.
352. A cancellation appointment for DD!!!
353. Friendly and engaging paediatricians.
354. Medication that works!
355. Sunday services.
356. A friend's daughter getting baptized!
357. 2 new pieces of technology for me: a netbook and a BlackBerry Torch...I feel like I am in the 21st century now!
358. Hearing DD describe catching both a leech and a great big frog on a class field trip.
359. Small positive changes that add up to big changes over the long haul.
360. His grace, all of His grace, and always His grace.
361. Psalm 37:3....working on memorizing a chunk of this Psalm.
362. Two successful morning coffees with God...getting back in the saddle again.
363. Myhusband the engineer and I getting back in to physical fitness and healthy eating habit routines again, after FAR too long....ugh....
364. Starting to work on memorizing Colossians in one year...gulp...
365. Moleskine notebooks!
366. Free from the curb blanket box to use as a coffee table in our Great Room!
367. Fresh strawberries!
368. $4 can of Krylon to update a couple of baskets.
369. The smell of his pillow in the morning.
370. An afternoon chat with T.K.
371. A group of us crazy gals helping J.D. on a Tuesday night...what a blessing!!!
372. Walking barefoot in the grass.
373. Hot tub soak, chat, and glass of vino with a neighbour-friend.
374. An excellent summer week, and more projects to make for our home.
375. The last week of school for the kids.
376. DS's SK end of year concert...my last time doing SK stuff....
377. MOre and more positives for DD.
378. Seeing the progress and change God has wrought in my life over the past year....tangibly.
379. Seeing my sense of worth as very much tied to Christ and who I am in Him.
380. Love and support from J.D., T.K., and I.R.
381. Enjoying motherhood...after feeling so much like I was floundering and a fish out of water for so very long.
382. Loving watching DD and DS playing together.
383. Putting thoughts down on paper about the impact of a dear friend.
384. Feeling oh so very blessed and content with my life and family.
385. Canada Day with the D. family!!!!
386. Watching DD playing with her friends.
387. Midway rides, the smell of popcorn and cotton candy in the air....
388. Beef donairs.
389. Fireworks and popcorn.
390. Kids silly and crazy in the car.
391. A quiet family weekend at home.
392. Kids at the splash pad with Grampy & Grammy.
393. Time alone to run errands together.
394. Watching the kids sense of interest in God and things of God.
395. The smell of homemade cleansers...mmmm, lavender!
396. Being moved almost 6 years after the fact, from the effects of Hurricane Katrina.
397. Blessed to live where I do.
398. All of the ironing done-FINALLY!
399. Openness and honesty with my husband
400. Despite moments of doubt, seeing the evidence of God changing my heart.
401. Conversations with DD about God, often.
402. Loving my country of Canada.
403. The importance of Christian lady-friends.

For more gratitude, pop on over here:

On the Start of Summer and Growing in the Lord...

2011-07-02T21:45:00.003-04:00

So, the last day of school for my kiddies was on Thursday, the 30th of June. Friday, July 1st was Canada Day, what for all intents & purposes is the start of summer here in our home. We spent Canada Day at Kanata's Canada Day celebration. the temptation was great to brave the 400,000 plus crowd on Parliament Hill and try and get a glimpse of Prince William and Princess Kate, but we decided against it. Also? We were going to be going to Kanata's Canada Day with our good friends J. & C. D. and their kids, so that was a clincher for me! So, after slathering ourselves with sunscreen, gathering snacks, and loading ourselves up, we headed on down and met up with J. & C. at the midway. We decided to get the kids on the midway rides before lunch, and then head to the bouncy castles. All in all the kids had a really good day, lots of fun, the sight of fish and a frog in the pond, and taking in all the sights and sounds. We went home and all crashed for the afternoon, had a lazy easy supper, hung out here, and went back down to see the fireworks at 10 p.m. The fireworks were gorgeous...really nice. We took some made at home microwave popcorn down with us, sat outside and watched. It was the perfect end to a fun day.
Wednesday evening, after working through some aspects of spiritual struggles I am going through, and have been for the past couple of years, I gained insight into myself and my spiritual growth. I gained insight into just how far I've come in my growth, glory be to God. It's good to have these insights into our growth and progress, as God grants them. Sometimes we are so close to our struggles and failures, that we can't see the proverbial forest for the trees. I personally think that is a tactic from the enemy...I think he prefers to keep us that way. In such a state, we are hardly useful to Kingdom service. While I am pleased to see this, it's also a reality check for me too, and insight into areas in which I may be vulnerable again. I am not so naive to think that these areas won't present struggle and angst to me ever again...but insights such as these are useful in understanding where my vulnerabilities lie and how I may manage them better in the future.
One of the areas I've struggled with consistently is where my worth and value lies. I will be honest and share that while I am a child of God, I struggle with seeing my value and worth based on my standing as His child, and tend instead to see my worth based on what I did and what my accomplishments are and were. I will say also, that finally getting onto an appropriate anti-depressant has lifted the haze and shown me this, much more clearly than before. I am starting to see more and more that my worth lies in the fact that I am a beloved daughter of the King, and that if, as Romans 5:8-10 states, He reconciled me to Him while still His enemy, how much more will He do for me when I am actively seeking to follow Him and love Him.
I also see how important my relationship with God is, and how important it is to feed that relationship. It's from this that the overflow spills, much like a pyramid of champagne glasses, down to my relationship with my husband the engineer, my children, my church family, my extended family, and on down the line. While I will never have a perfect daily relationship with my Saviour, I can do what I can, where I can, as I can....and something is always better than nothing.
So, moving forward, I will seek to do what I can. I will use my copy of A Mother's Hours, making hard stops to pray during my day. I will continue with my personal Bible reading and use of devotional materials I've found useful and helpful. And, to help keep His words in my heart, on my mind, and hopefully lived out in my life, I will be attempting to memorize Colossians in one year.
The other areas I can see where I am growing are: finding and taking more joy in watching my children grow around me, taking the time to stop during my daily work and take the time to answer this question, explain that reason, delight in their artwork, and yes, mete out discipline. Taking on more of a stronger advocate role for my DD, and others like her. Focusing more of my energy to making our house a true home, a haven of rest, comfort and peace for all who enter here. Re-focusing on being a blessing to my husband the engineer. Looking for ways to be a better mom to my children...and trying to figure out what that looks like and entails, for each stage of my childrens' lives.
I sense a deeper seriousness within my heart to take my vocation as wife & mother more seriously than I have. Not that I've been slacking off, or not taking it seriously to now...but just a deeper understanding of myself, my capabilities, potential, and deeper understanding of my children. Knowing more and more how important my role in their lives is. Just a deeper sense of the seriousness of my vocation and role...and a deeper sense of honour, in fulfilling this calling God has placed on me and in me. I want to finish well, you know? I want to do my best for God, and for my husband and children...but I also will be mindful of not doing this in my own strength, but in His...in His way, not mine....in His will, not mine...in His timing (oh, the practice of waiting on the Lord!!!), not mine (ouch!)...in His righteousness, not mine.
I'm anxious and standing on tiptoe, spiritually, to see what God will do...I feel excited, and I feel a sense of anticipation to see what He has in store for me next. I haven't felt this in a very long time!

Muchas Monday-Day Before Summer Ed.

2011-06-20T17:45:00.005-04:00

I haven't forgotten my Monday gratitude list...my counting steadily towards one thousand gifts bestowed up on me by the Giver of all good things. Me, who stumbles daily in the small things of life. Me, who prays earnestly for His strength to do this thing called parenting, and then falls two seconds after praying that prayer, snapping words of brittleness. Me, who can't watch with Him one hour, in early morning, to get the day off on a right footing. Me, who can while away time doing this or that, but really does it matter in the end? Me...sinful old me...but the new me, clothed in His righteousness, forgiven more times than I can count, loved everlastingly, sins taken from me as far as the East is from the West..ME...called a daughter of the King...ME...counting, counting, counting...

298. Being on top of my housework.

299. Feeling more energized with my new iron supplement...liquid energy, it is!

300. The smell of muffins, fresh from the oven.

301. Blogging again, after much too long.

302. Many ideas for new blog posts floating through my mind.

303. The scent of Berry Parfait handsoap from Bath & BodyWorks.

304. Great weather for Ladies' Retreat

305. Out with A.M. after church on a Sunday night-time to renew friendship!

306. Five women, in a Honda Civic, talking, laughing, sharing, all the way to Ladies' Retreat...

307. Getting to know T.K. better, and deepen my friendship and appreciation of her...lovely soul, great friend...love you!!!

308. Feeling spiritually empty & dry, and knowing the Source of my filling is in Him alone...

309. Women praising in song...bliss!

310. Late night talks at Retreat.

311. Haunting song of the loon...music from and to the Creator.

312. Brought to my knees before God, knowing what I have to fix...

313. Quiet contemplation and meditation.

314. A luna moth...so beautiful!

315. Balderdash and chocolate bars.

316. Meeting A.M.'s friend, and getting to know her better.

317. Late night talks with E.B. and B.B...love you girls!!!!

318. Getting to know B.B. better.

319. Saturday night worship...ahhhhhh!

320. A good catch-up with a couple friends.

321. Car ride back to Ottawa at the end of the retreat.

322. Fudge in Westport.

323. Life is Good store...MONKEYS!!!!

324. A good and challenging retreat.

325. A card from him in my dresser drawer...so thoughtful!

326. Counting down the days till he's back...

327. Skype!

328. Being an advocate for my daughter, and others, when and where I can. I never thought I would do this...but I am...

329. Blessing and helping J.D. in some tangible ways.

330. Thud-thud of basketball in the driveway.

331. New-to-me dress and sandals to surprise him at the airport!

332. Stamp Club at T.K.'s and B.B. joining us...so MUCH fun!!!

333. Friends like T.K., who make life more fun and enjoyable.

334. My peonies blooming soft and pink.

335. Sharing our engagement story here and reliving the start of our marriage....

336. Full moon in the darkened sky.

337. Dressed all pretty and waiting for him...and there he is...and a huge hug...and a kiss...and his arms around me again...

338. DD so excited to see Daddy again!!!

339. DS bringing Daddy Frosted Flakes for breakfast.

340. Father's Day takeout for supper...eaten with my husband the engineer's parents and the kids...with strawberry shortcake for dessert...YUM!!!

341. A new notebook computer...upon which I am typing this post...SWEET!

342. Getting up earlier to have coffee and Bible reading, prayer and meditation...oh how my soul has missed this...

343. Walking DD to school...and then adding another 30 minutes on top of it...and the rush I felt at exercising after so long...back to it again...sweet!

344. Making his eyes light up at me like that...still after 12 years!!!

345. Psalm 37: 3-8...and meditating and reading on it again and again throughout the day.

For more gratitude pop over here:

The Engineer & The Arts Major Get Engaged

2011-06-15T12:15:00.008-04:00

I'm linking up with Betty Beguiles' linky party of engagement stories here.

First, a bit of history (as I am a history major after all, and history & context are important!):

I first met my husband the engineer back in Grade 7. The first meeting went something like this: I entered the library at noontime to work on homework and read (I was a shy, not-popular, bookworm in Jr. High). When I came into the library, the ONLY table that day that had a seat available was the one where my husband was sitting with a friend. I recognized him from band practice...he & I sat in the front row: he played clarinet (at the time), I played flute. So, I swallowed, screwed my courage to the sticking place, and very shyly went over and asked "I hate to bother you, but could I please sit and do my work?" To which he responded, "Yes." Thus started a friendship between he & I, that slowly, over junior high, high school, and the summer between Grade 12 and first year university, developed into love...

So, the fall of 1994 began our first year at university: he, in B.Sc. Electrical Engineering and me in B.A. History Major. Over the four years at university, our relationship deepened more and more. We spent a large amount of time together. We were both in the concert band at university (he played trombone, now, I played flute and percussion, depending on what was needed more), and the City's concert & marching band. We studied together, we went to College & Career at his church together (my church didn't have a group like that, as such), we had lunch together, we visited at each other's homes (we both had the benefit of being able to live at home while attending university, and thus avoided student debt completely), each other's churches, and places of work. I thoroughly enjoyed my university years...he had a love/hate relationship with his 5 years.

As we entered into our fourth year of university, we both realized that our relationship was, yes, a very deep friendship (we were best friends above all), but we realized that it was going in a direction that would inevitably (to me, at least) end up in marriage. I really wanted this...I loved this man so much...he ticked off every item on my "must have in a husband" list so well: devoted Christian, serious, funny, kind, love of others/helping others, spontaneous side that kept life fun, wanted kids as I did, etc. etc. Only one lacking: no nice thick hair (some things just can't be helped!!! I don't care now, and it wasn't a serious item, but I remember thinking when I made my "list" back when, that it would be a "nice to have"). During that last year, we talked of where our relationship was going, where we wanted it to go (marriage) and all that.

The hard part was this: he and I both wanted something concrete before May of 1998. That was when I would graduate with my BA, and he would leave on a 16 month work term before doing his final year of Engineering. During March Break, I travelled with he & his parents to Toronto, where he would be doing his work-term. The goal was to find him a suitable apartment, or at least get a head-start on accomodations, etc. I stayed with a good friend of mine during that week. During that trip, he told me later, he knew he was going to ask me to marry him. I knew I wanted him to so badly, and that I was so ready for him to do this...but I was scared that something was going to go wrong (thankfully I was wrong!).

Sometime after we got back, he came over to talk to my Mom (my brother let the cat out of the bag on this to me, but I didn't fully realize it...I thought it was a possibility, but didn't want to let myself go there), and tell her of his intentions, and get her blessing. I was into writing papers, and basically trying to busy myself so I wouldn't think about it to distraction.

One Friday night, March 13th, 1998, was a Friday night date night like any other, although there were a few things that should have tweaked me: on the way home from class at the end of the day, Mom decided to get Wendy's for supper, spur of the moment-ish. That was odd, I remember thinking, because it was just kind of "random." But I blew it off. The deal was I would eat supper, and then he (now my husband the engineer) would come get me, go to his place and hang out for a bit, and then go and play pool with some friends. After we got home with our Wendy's food and had supper, I went to get changed. I came out ready to go, or so I thought, and Mom suggested maybe I should wear something different...again, odd, but whatever. I did change again, and we went off. After hanging out at his place for a little while, it was time to go overtown and meet our friends.

Keep in mind, this was March...in New Brunswick...in Canada. It was COLD out, and there was snow on the ground, and it was nighttime, like 8 or 9 p.m. We went over and parked near here:

This is Officers Square in Fredericton, NB. The building you see in the back, is the old officers' barracks, dating from the 1800s. It now houses the York-Sunbury Museum, which is a really cool place to visit. The square is used for a changing of the guard during the summer, concerts in the evenings during the summer, and ice-skating in the winter. (Thus endeth the history lesson & tourism plug).

We parked off to the right, looking at this picture, where there is a parking lot, and proceeded to walk across the square, directly in front of the barracks building. I was wearing a pair of dress pants, warm coat, and gloves...and was in a hurry to get of the darned freezing cold, and get to where we were supposed to meet our friends...we were running late after all, we need to hurry...c'MON, I'm soooo cold!!!!! While I was on my mission towards warmth, my now-husband the engineer had other ideas...and asked me not once, but twice, using my name, to please stop, and wait...the last time, I stopped, and physically turned...

At which point, he got down on one knee, opened a small box, told me he loved me and asked me to marry him and be his wife...and I said "YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" And I was crying, and excited, and happy, and couldn't believe it was happening, really happening, and that it had all worked out...but still was somehow scared that midnight would come, and I would turn into a pumpkin, and none of this would be real anymore...

But oh yes, it was real, and I was over the moon with happiness.

And then 18 months later, we made those sacred vows before God and our family & friends:

And the Engineer and the History Major were married, and lived happily ever after.

The end.

Early June Daybook

2011-06-08T20:48:00.006-04:00

Outside My Window
Night is falling. The sky is still dark from a suppertime thunderstorm and rain-shower...oh so needed after two days of 98% humidity and temperature, without humidex, hovering at about 32 degrees Celsius.

I Am Listening To
The swish-swish of the dishwasher...the rhythmic thunk-thunk of dryerballs in the dryer...the A/C running tickety-boo, to keep our house at a reasonable temperature.

I Am Wearing
Black Jockey knee-length yoga shorts...red Ottawa Senators t-shirt...bare feet.

I Am Thankful For
Having A/C in an early-June heat-wave. It's also needed, as both my husband the engineer and I suffer from seasonal allergies: mine are springtime/early summer, and his is ragweed.

I Am Pondering
Going to Dairy Queen and getting a Reese's Blizzard...because, even though I'm still not back into exercising and eating completely healthy, there's nothing ice cream can't cure, right?!!!

I Am Reading
The Tudors by G. J. Meyer. I'm about half-way through this very good book. I am thoroughly enjoying reading this. I took a class in university on the Tudor era, and really enjoyed it...this is rounding out my knowledge most excellently. Right now, I am just starting into the section on Edward VI's reign, just after Henry VIII's death...not an time of Tudor history I'm partiularly familiar with.

I Am Thinking
About what to do with a frame I bought at Walmart...from their Better Homes & Gardens collection. It's a 3 5x7 collage type frame, with "Home is where your story begins" in the fourth "frame." I'm trying to decide about what pictures to pop in, and what, if anything I'll stamp/design to go in one of the "windows."

I Am Creating
Ideas in my head for more cards I would like to make, scrapbook layouts, and more framed artwork for my home...I love creating!

On My Ipod
Good question...been awhile since I listened to it...

Toward Rhythm & Beauty
The beauty part isn't too hard...I've been having lots of fun rearranging this and that around the house, and making artwork to display. The rhythm part is more difficult right now. This week, I decided to give an earnest try at getting up at 5:30/5:45 a.m. again. I'm 0 for 3 folks...I've slept through the alarm all. three. mornings. this. week. so. far. (Thus part of the reason for the urge to eat a Reese's Blizzard at 9 p.m.). However, my housework routine is going smashingly. I've also managed to get little bits of baking/cooking done each day, too. Also, next week? Clean out and sort out the Laundry Room again...I have a pile of stuff that must go...and I need to re-organize/sort/purge the storage cupboards down there too.

To Live the Liturgy
Although my spiritual routine has been sorely lacking of late, I feel God's hand on my life. I feel close to Him on one level, because I'm maintaining an attitude of prayer throughout my day; however, I notice the lack of a consistent appointment with Him...it's gnawing at my soul and heart daily. So, I shall keep on hacking away at getting this early morning routine down again. I so miss & crave this time, with my cuppa, my Bible, my prayers, and my thoughts before the start of the ebb and flow of daily life.

I Am Hoping & Praying
Hoping for a great weekend away with the gals from my church and the OVA at retreat.
Praying for increased wisdom, gentleness and peace in our home.

In the Garden
Oh my...the garden has taken off the past week or so. My hostas are HUGE. My peony is about to start bursting forth with a glorious pink colour. My J.P. Connell rosebush has 2 buds open, and a gazillion more to come. DD's pink rosebush has its first bud about to open. My Bleeding-Hearts are both about done, but my white one seems to still be chugging away. My Periwinkle and Cranesbill Geraniums are both blooming. Now, just my Day Lilies left to start blooming...if the leaves are any indication, they should be covered in buds this year.

Around the House
I'm caught up on all my housework so far this week...everything's right on track! Next week, as I mentioned above, I'll tackle the re-org and straightening of the Laundry Room/storage. I also have some ideas to make a kitchen "command centre" and I'll use next week to start thinking and planning that through some more.

From the Kitchen
Monday: Almond Chicken & Rice
Tuesday: Pizza
Wednesday:Tacos & guacamole
Thursday: Whistle While You Wok (from Eat, Shrink & Be Merry)
Friday - Sunday: I'm away at retreat

Update on the Fam
DD this week: DD is doing well with the end of year wind down at school. It started a bit rocky, with some behaviours that we've not seen in awhile and some attitude adjustment necessary. However, all in all, it's going well. Daily she is bringing her notebooks and other things home from school. I like that it's being sent home a bit at a time, instead of one huge ginormous pile of stuff at the end. Her class has one more field trip coming up for the end of the year.
DS this week: DS is doing well with the end of the year too. He's now playing out in the "big kids' yard." The last month of school, at our kids' school, they let the Sr. Kindergarten students out to play in the "big yard" with the other school students, to get them used to being out in the big yard before Grade One in the fall. So far he's liking it. I just hope he can leave DS and her friends alone! He's enjoying having nice weather so he can play outside.
My Husband the Engineer this week: Work is going well for him. I think he's looking forward to vacation time coming up in July. Nothing overly new to report here on him. Tomorrow, he's going to a neighbour's house to pick up a basketball net for our kids...it was advertised free on our community association's Facebook page, and we responded first and got it! The kids will be so excited to have a basketball net, DD in particular!

This Weekend
I'm away at Ladies' Retreat (YAY, can't wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), DD has a birthday party to attend, and DS has a playdate with a friend. Other than that, a quiet weekend, yes?!

A Photo
This is of my gardens right now...

Muchas Monday - Tuesday Edition (!)

2011-06-07T18:00:00.004-04:00

It's been awhile, eh?! Yeah...this time of year things get busy-ish, it seems. Good busy though. My Mom was up for a week in May...we had a really good time with her here. The kids loved having her here. We did some shopping, visiting and just hanging out. It was truly a nice visit...very relaxed and not much to do, which was nice.

The school-year is wrapping up here, slowly but surely. Field-trips and school papers coming home are indications of that time of year again. I can't believe it's June already!

I've managed to get a couple of garage sales in (see my previous post for pics & commentary on my finds!), so far, despite the rainy weekends we've had.

In all the busyness, it's good to take the moment(s) to give thanks for:

258. Meeting J.D. and her daughter Miss M. on my Monday grocery-run...always the bright spot in my day!

259. DD's new glasses...and how much the new frames suit her face...so sweet!

260. Good books to read...like The King's Speech.

261. The sounds of neighbourhood children playing outside.

262. Free from the curbside old oak schoolchair to bring home and make useful!

263. Garage sale season!

264. Attempting to start my early-morning wakeup routine, after much too long.

265. An excellent visit with my Mom.

266. Enjoying being outside in the warmth & sunshine.

267. Taking joy in making our house a home...adding touches of fun and beauty.

268. Making handmade art for our home.

269. A new parsley & spearmint plant for my garden! :)

270. My gorgeous White Bleeding-Heart.

271. Feeling better about myself...day by day seeing positive changes due to His grace in my life.

272. Garage-saleing with my friend E. B.

273. Old and used finds at a garage sale...perfect for my home. I love old stuff!

274. Taking the time to read good books...I must do more of this.

275. The smell of books...mmmmmmmmmmm....

276. Having a lot of women-friends gather at my home for a direct-sales party for Mady Moo purses!!!!!!

277. Cafe Au Lait from The Sippy Cup!

278. Having motivation to get back into my exercise & devotional routines again...sigh...

279. Hope.

280. Having friends like I.R. and J.D. to encourage, laugh, share, cry, and celebrate with. I love you two ladies so much....mwah!

281. Even though I feel as if I've not been staying as close as I should be to God, through prayer & reading, I still feel His hand on my life and heart, and His pull on my life...and sense the desire in me to do things, not because I "have to" but because I want to please Him.

282. Peasant skirts & bare feet.

283. Laughter & bubbles, skipping ropes & scooters.

284. Motts Freezies!!!

285. Aerius allergy medication.

286. Fresh parsley & mint growing in my garden.

287. Buds on my rosebushes and peony!

288. Bluejays at the birdfeeder.

289. Playdates at the park.

290. Sand in the bottom of the tub after shower-time.

291. Gardening.

292. His grace for the moment.

293. Quilts made by both of my grandmothers, now both with the Lord, on our bed.

294. His eyes admiring me - still....even though I don't feel physically attractive or admirable right now.

295. Being able to see the funny side of parenting and discipline and childish escapades.

296. Impromptu visit, and coffee and hotdog with J.D. at the end of grocery-shopping.

297. First rose of summer on my rosebush...so pretty!

298. Looking forward to Ladies' Retreat this weekend!

For more gratitude, pop on over here:

{PHFR} Thursday

2011-06-02T17:01:00.025-04:00

Wow...so, it's been awhile since I posted much of anything on here, let alone a {PHFR} post. [gulp]

I won't go into details now, but it's been busy here, and we've been having fun, and doing lots.
I'll just dive into this post...

I have several {Pretty} entries:

Garage sale season is here...even though every weekend of it so far has been rainy and/or cold. We'll leave off the rantings about the weather for now, and share the pictures of my finds from last weekend...

This is a pine quilt rack I found for $10. Now, I have a place to display my afghans and quilts! I'm not sure this will be it's permanent home though.

Next, we have a 2 gallon crock, which I bought along with a 4 gallon crock (with lid!!!), for $45. Even at yard sales, I have never found crocks under $20. My friend, E.B. who was garage-saleing with me, and I, carried these for about 4-5 blocks back to where we'd parked the car...my arms were SO SORE the next day! As you can see, my crock is holding all my culinary accoutrements, next to my stove.

I found this old Pepsi bottle for $1. It now lives on top of my fridge, in a little wooden caddy that holds other old bottles. I like it!

I bought this lovely old jug, as well. I loved it...the shape, the colour, and the opalescent glaze on it is really lovely (although this picutre hardly does it justice). I have a thing for jugs!

In front of this arrangement, you can see the 4 gallon crock I bought with the 2 gallon one. In this nook, was a sad and almost de-leafed ficus tree (silk). We put the ficus tree to the curb (insert Taps here), and I arranged this display. The 2 gallon crock you see in the back, was given to me by my mother inlaw, and I just moved it here. I think this looks pretty, don't you?

I found this old canning jar at a garage sale, too, and now store my tealight candles in it.

I also bought these lovely old wooden spools & bobbin. I wish that I'd bought the whole box of "stuff" that these were in...it was only $20, and there were some really neat-looking items in there...all kinds of old odds & ends. Next time, I'll know better!

Here is a lamp I found at a consignment store, in their clearance section, for $5:

For {Happy}, here we go:

This lamp is from Ikea. We've had it for about 2-3 years now. I moved it to our Living Room, and the shade wasn't really doing it for me anymore. So, I thought about what I could do to fix that on the cheap, without spending money and without buying a new shade. So...out came the glue-gun, and some Stampin' Up Chocolate Chip grosgrain ribbon, and presto...this is the finished item, and it makes me so happy...I love it!

I cased this from a stamping website I frequent. I did mine a bit differently than the one on the website, but I like the colours in mine. I love, love, love this red...it's called Cherry Cobbler.

I bought this at the same consignment store I got the lamp from. This hangs by our front door now, and I love seeing it as we enter & leave the house.

This now sits on our front table. I cased this, as well, from the same website as the bird art I made above. I changed up the colours in this.

This is a chair I rescued from the curbside one night when I was out walking with my good friend E.B. We saw it on the front end of our walk, and I said if it was still at the curb on our way back, I was taking it. So it was, and so I did! The green it was originally, was not a green I particularly liked. I lived with it for awhile...then I decided to get all crafty and change it and see if I could do somehting to it. The chair was free. I dry-brushed 2 coats of white paint (Benjamin Moore Cloud White, to be exact) which we had (free), and 2 coats of Minwax Ebony gel stain over top (we had the stain, so free). This is the finished product...I think I like it.

Here's a close-up of my technique:

For {Funny}:

DS drew this and left it on the counter for me. It's a picture of me...I wish I were that skinny...sigh...laugh...

And for {Real}:

When my Mom was up for a week, she bought me a parsley and a spearmint plant for my garden. They are still in their pots, and look the worse for wear, due to the 30ish degree heat we've had (that's 30 Celsius for my American friends), and then the crazy wind we had last night and todayy. I am going to pot my parsley in a HUGE planter I have and then put the mint in my garden...I have a spot for it to go forth & multiply in.

For more {Pretty Happy Funny Real} head over to Leila's:

Muchas Monday - After Mother's Day Ed.

2011-05-09T16:34:00.002-04:00

It has been much too long since I posted for a Muchas Monday. A lot has been going on personally and with our family, nothing bad, nothing earth-shattering, just the usual ebb & flow of family life.

Here is my continued list of gratitude to the Giver of All Good Things:

223. Finding myself struggling with old things again...and re-learning how to deal with them.

224. Trying to figure out a new exercise routine and get in shape again.

225. My first Lent observed...and thinking ahead to Lent 2012, and how I'll observe it then...what I'd do differently or keep the same.

226. A flash of bright red in our back yard on a cloudy day...a cardinal!

227. Finding a new-to-us antique dresser for DD's room...it's lovely, and one that you could truly put a baby to sleep in, in one of the drawers.

228. Smiles, giggles and new Easter scooters.

229. Old quilts, laundered fresh, to use for decor and purpose.

230. Enjoying creating and crafting.

231. Having dear friends like I.R. and J.D. to support, hug and encourage...love you guys! :)

232. Helping J.D. get some things tackled.

233. Playoff NHL hockey...but missing my dear Senators in the playoffs...next year, please, guys?!!!

234. My brand spanking new Bible, ESV, an early Mothers Day gift from my husband the engineer.

235. A mid-week lunch out at Swiss Chalet with A.P. Such a nice treat!

236. That there was no damage done to our house during the crazy wind-storm last week.

237. Being okay with letting housework slide for a time...and not going out of my mind with anxiety about it.

238. Grateful for my husband the engineer taking his "job" as provider and leader of our family seriously and with responsibility. I am so grateful for all he does for us.

239. Friends like C.D. to help us move furniture that we can't with our Corolla! :)

240. Waking early to watch the Royal Wedding...and remembering being a small girl the same age as my DD and getting to watch another Royal Wedding, of Prince William's parents, the first thing I remember ever seeing on television.

241. Bleeding-Heart bushes coming to life again in the spring...nothing like it!

242. Listening to Walk In the Word's James MacDonald while I craft...spiritual refreshing while being creative...the best multi-tasking!

243. Having fun with DS getting to bring his class friend, Benjamin Bunny home for the night.

244. Enjoying constantly making our house a home, more & more.

245. Random snuggles and cute notes from DS during the day!

246. End of day talks and conversations with DS at bedtime.

247. Starting to work in my flowerbeds again...ahhhh.

248. New Bible for Mothers Day.

249. Red roses for Mothers Day.

250. Robins at the bird-feeder.

251. The song of a cardinal.

252. Finally finishing reading the Official Biography of the Queen Mother....a very interesting and educational read.

253. Watching the Royal Wedding with DD again, and getting to explain the ceremony & service to her.

254. Still finding new things to love about my husband the engineer each day...love him SO MUCH!!!

255. Sprawled out children playing games of chess and checkers on the Great Room floor.

256. Watching DD fly...sans training wheels!

257. Shoots of green in my flower-beds!

For more Monday gratitude pop on over here:

{PHFR} Thursday, 3rd Ed.

2011-05-05T20:26:00.011-04:00

Without further ado, here are my pictures for {PHFR} Thursday!

Pretty:

This is an old hooked rug, made by my great-grandmother. It was always on an old Windsor-backed rocking-chair at my grandparent's house. After my grandmother died, and my family was in the process of sorting through everything at the house, I asked for, and got, the rocking-chair...and this hooked rug that was on it. We got it cleaned, and it looks so much more colourful than I remember it looking, growing up. I had never been able to find a satisfactory home for the rug in our home...I didn't want to use it on a chair, but I just could never find the perfect spot for it. So...I decided to try it out here on top of my little round table in our living room. I'm not sure if it will end up here permanently or not.

I have a second pretty picture:

I decided to remove a picture from this frame, and replace it with something else...something crafty. So, I used up some old alphabet tiles (from Michaels) and some left-over patterened paper from Stampin Up, and a glue gun...and voila! Instant art that cost me nothing to make.

Happy

I found this truly awesome vintage-looking recipe box at a little store I LOVE for its stock of all things antique, vintage and reproduction, and some newer things that have an old look to them. I finally found a recipe box that can hold all of my recipes without all but exploding all over the kitchen every time I open it.

Funny

This little card was made by our DD, for DS and slipped under his door for him to find in the morning. My husband the engineer and I laughed till we cried when we saw this...in particular the part about "wiggeling" when having to go to the bathroom...too real, too funny and too cute!

Real

Yes, my friends, THIS is my basket of ironing. Sadly neglected for the past while...in fact, if I don't tackle the ironing this weekend, my husband the engineer won't have a shirt to wear to church on Sunday morning, nor for work next week. So...Mt. Ironmore, here I come...sigh. Did I mention, I. Hate. Ironing. Seriously.

I bought this book in early January at Costco. Here is where I am, now, on 5th May:

Yup, it has taken me THAT long to read this book. I totally understand that this book is more than 1,000 pages long; however, it's kinda sad that it's taken me this long. Not that it's a boring read. NO! It's been a most interesting and entertaining read...and educational. This book appeals to me on so many levels: interest in the Royal Family; scholarly and historical (I did my BA in History & Classical Studies); well-written; informative and educational (I like reading a book that makes me use my brain...the part of my brain I used for 4 years at university, and that needs an occasional dusting off and challenge!).

Link up over here for more {PHFR}Thursday:

{PHFR}-Belated Ed.

2011-04-30T21:47:00.010-04:00

So, I'm 2 days late with my {PHFR} post. I keep forgetting to leave my camera out & handy during the week, and in particular, my happy and real pictures are hard to come by on the fly, and at the last minute. Ah well, c'est life, oui?!!!

So, for my Pretty, I offer thus:

This is another of my crafty/procrastination projects. I decided to use up some leftover patterned paper, and leftover cardstock stickers from previous card and scrapbooking projects. I spent $0 on this, as the frame I had already. As you can see from this, and the following picture, there is no glass. That was not part of the plan. As I was securing my artwork back into the frame, I heard a "CRACK" and the glass in the fronto of the frame cracked, cleanly. So, I'm not sure what to do with it: leave as is, or get glass/a new frame??? Ideas, suggestions, please!

For Happy, this is my offering:

Awhile ago, my husband the engineer and I were at our local Christian bookstore, I saw this Bible on the shelf and fell in love with it. I struggled that day to leave it on the shelf in the store, and not buy it and take it home. Yes, I coveted...a Bible!!! I suggested to my husband the engineer that this would be a good Mother's Day gift for me. So this week an Amazon package came in the mail, and that evening my husband gave me my new Bible!!!!!!!!!!!!!...a week early, but he got his Father's Day gift early, so we're even. The Bible is an ESV tru-tone, and it's just text on the page, not all kinds of other notes and stuff. Also, and most importantly, it's in good shape, and not falling apart like my other one is. This made me happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For Funny, I offer this:

For Real, I offer the following:

Sigh...this is another victim of our lengthy to do list. My husband the engineer, God bless him, went around about 3 weeks or so ago, and puttied all the old nail holes, nail pops, etc., and then touched up all the paint touch-ups that needed to be done. Then, yours truly decided to throw one at him, and move some pictures, AFTER said project. So, this bare wall above the piano is in need of some art above, to anchor the space (cue sad violin music here). The piece I decided to move is this one:

Here's a close up of the sentiment on it:

This was a gift from my in-laws for our wedding, along with a throw of the tapestry above. One of my absolute favourite gifts. Now, it just needs to find a home...the tapestry that is.

For more {PHFR}, pop on over here:

Muchas Monday - After Holy Week Ed.

2011-04-25T11:46:00.003-04:00

It's been awhile since I posted a Muchas Monday. Although the weeks have been busy, it's been a quiet busy in many respects. Kidz Choir play, Good Friday combined church service, sweet fellowshipping with others after said service, time with family, meditating on His sufferings, etc. etc. All in all, it's been a good couple of weeks. I'll write a more in depth post of where I'm at with some things, and some things I've been thinking about and struggling with.

Muchas Monday list:

202. His power displayed in a thunderstorm.

203. The joy of catching up with J.D. and her dd M. on our Monday grocery runs.

204. Having fun with Miss M. while J.D. did her shopping...such a funny, silly little girl!

205. Seeing the first green shoots of my Day Lilies peeking through...ahh, spring at last. Also, during Eastertide, seeing these makes me think of new life, from Him.

206. Deep friendships shared with two wonderful, beautiful women...always sharing, encouraging, and helping one another along this journey of life in Christ. J.D. and E.B., you two make this walk so much lighter, enjoyable, and light. Love you two!

207. Crafting for my home...a creative outlet for me.

208. Getting to have a good meeting with DD's new teacher.

209. Midday online chats with my Mom.

210. Taking pleasure in organizing and simplifying our home, one area, one step at a time.

211. Children, smiling, excited, and ready to perform the Kidz Choir play for a full house!

212. Having L.A. and her sweet baby M. join us for Tuesday Bible study!

213. Teaching my children the importance of, and how to, pray and talk to God...and praying that seeds will be planted, and they would grow to have Him at the centre of their lives, too.

214. A wonderful Good Friday service.

215. Singing loud, with voices lifted to the rafters, of His suffering that we might be free.

216. Renewing friendships.

217. Enjoying the proof of a good and strong friendship: picking up with L.J. right where we left off when last we were together. Miss you, girl!

218. L.J. and I enjoying seeing our daughters, all pretty little girls, sitting in a row together, giggling soft, and enjoying renewing their friendships...and hugs all around when it was time to go. So sweet!

219. DD's perfect pitch harmonies singing with Casting Crowns in the car.

220. Thinking and meditating on His suffering for my sinful self on the cross...and realizing that His suffering makes anything I go through here on Earth have meaning beyond suffering for the sake of suffering. Now to remember this in those moments...

221. Making Resurrection Cookies with DS (they didn't turn out right, but that's ok, there's always next Easter!).

222. The joy of Easter morning...He is risen indeed! Hallelujah!

For more Monday gratitude, go on over here:

{PHFR}Thursday, Vol. II

2011-04-21T09:30:00.011-04:00

I'm linking up with Leila & Co. over here again for {Pretty, Happy, Funny, Real} Thursday.

For Pretty, I offer this:

I used this as my inspiration. I bought the frame at Walmart, one of their Better Home & Garden Collection frames (I love them...reasonably priced, and they look nice!).

Here's a close-up of the flower (ahem), for another Pretty:

For Happy, I did this..it could also be another Pretty, but I look at this and it makes me happy:

I used this as my inspiration. Mine is 5x7 (using the Better Homes & Garden frame from Walmart, again), and I find its size is good for us.

For Funny, I didn't have a funny situation or funny face, etc. to post, so I'll include a picture of the book I'm reading. I'm reliving my Jr. High reading via Scholastic and reading the Gordon Korman McDonald Hall books, now that I have my own through, ahem, Scholastic...

I read the first 3 chapters last night, and was reminded again of how funny and timeless these books are...and how they appeal to readers of all ages.

Meanwhile, here's what was happening in the kitchen while I was doing other things:

This would be my Real picture...because, that's what's really happening in my kitchen, as of right now. After I publish this, I will be catching up on my cleaning and housework...right after I make another corner pretty, or do more crafting...

For more {PHFR}Thursday, pop on over here:

{Pretty, Happy, Funny, Real} Thursday

2011-04-14T14:29:00.008-04:00

I follow Like Mother Like Daughter's blog, and decided to link up for the Thursday feature. I clicked a few pics here & there around the house where I prettied things up, and also a project I just got done making.

Awhile back, I found instructions here for how to make these cute pomander balls. I thought I would make the bowl on our ottoman look more spring-y. All you need is a styrofoam ball, corsage pins, and a hydrangea punch by Artha-May Ewart-Stay. After the kids are in bed, turn on your favourite TV show, and craft away!

Other spring pretties around the house:

Today, the project I made was a chore-chart for our DD. I found the instructions and inspiration here . As you can see, I made some modifications to this, but the basic idea is still the same.

For more {Pretty, Happy, Funny, Real}, pop on over here.

Muchas Monday - Mid-April Version

2011-04-11T12:30:00.002-04:00

So, it's been awhile since I last blogged at all, let alone for a Muchas Monday post. Lots of stuff has been going on. Last Monday, my husband the engineer and I had the privilege of representing our church as messengers to FEB Central Region's Annual Convention in Cambridge, ON. Neither my husband nor I had ever been to a FEB Convention before, and so we had no idea what to expect. Both the pastors from our church were there, as well. The first morning we walked into the church in which the convention was held was just amazing...I cannot describe in words the feeling of the joy of the Lord that was evident amongst all there. I felt so at home and welcomed there...and what a wonderful time we had at convention. The four sermons presented were just what we needed to hear. It was nice, too, to get away and connect just the two of us, as well.

Without further ado, here is my rather lengthy list of thankfulness:

170. Being able to minister to my friend J.D. and her daughter for a medical appointment...which went well, and did not require sedation (yay!!!).

171. A male & female cardinal in the sumac tree in our yard on a cloudy day last week.

172. Watching a black cat stalking prey in the hydro corridor behind our house.

173. An afternoon call to check up on me from my friend J.D.

174. Rubbing DS's head and back before his nap-time.

175. The rhythm and hum of the washer and dryer.

176. His mercy and grace being more than enough for me...

177. His arms around me one last time before getting up in the morning.

178. An afternoon visit to my friend L.A. and her new baby...bliss!!!!

179. The Auld Kirk in Almonte...neat looking little church.

180. Taking some necessities to help out a bereaved family in our church family.

181. Warm spring sunshine.

182. A roast chicken dinner on a regular old weeknight, for no reason...mmmmm.

183. Cafe au Lait with my friend T.K., talking long, laughing and catching up with one another.

184. DD doing her homework, and munching on popcorn.

185. Praying the Trisagion and Jesus Prayer before bedtime...counting the rhythm of prayer on smooth beads...focusing on His mercy & grace.

186. Getting away for a couple of days with my husband the engineer.

187. My uber-awesome mother-in-love who took care of the kids for us...she rocks!

188. Getting some shopping done, including some birthday and Christmas gifts bought early.

189. Refreshment and spiritual encouragement at FEB Central.

190. Great messages by great pastors to encourage and challenge.

191. Getting to know Pastor Ca. more.

192. Revisiting friendships and acquaintances.

193. Making new acquaintances.

194. Moving times of worship.

195. Getting to see where my husband the engineer works when he has to go away for work.

196. Hearing and feeling and seeing the buzz and energy of a large group of fellow believers fellowshipping and sharing together.

197. Kids happy to have us back home.

198. A quiet but fun weekend.

199. Women friends talking long and laughing much at I.R.'s...till almost 1 a.m.!!!

200. A Saturday afternoon out with my friends E.B., K.B., and A.M.

201. Having a great family weekend together...

For more gratitude, go on over to Ann Voskamp's:

Ann Voskamp's.

10 Facts About My Husband & I

2011-03-31T13:08:00.002-04:00

Betty Beguiles did a link-up with 10 fun facts about us and our spouses. I thought I would join in too.

1. My husband the engineer & I have known each other since 1989, when we met in Grade 7.

2. We met in school band in grade 7. I played (and still play) the flute. At the time, he played clarinet.

3. We were best friends before we got married.

4. We spent our engagement period (16 months), living 1500 km. apart...he was living in Toronto, I was still in Fredericton.

5. We got engaged on a Friday the 13th. Also? I had no idea, and he surprised me with the ring...he picked it out himself. I love it!

6. He likes to help get supper ready with me in the evenings.

7. He watched all of Pride & Prejudice with me, when we were dating.

8. He surprised me, when we had our eldest, with how amazing he is with babies...he's just an awesome daddy.

9. He likes to get me flowers on days and dates that aren't the usual flower-giving ones.

10. He likes to sneak cookie dough out of the bowl on me...and I pretend to get annoyed with him, but I secretly think it's cute.

For more 10 facts, pop on over to Betty Beguiles'.

Muchas Monday - Hard Eucharisteo Vs. 1.1

2011-03-28T11:31:00.002-04:00

This past week was one of hard eucharisteo, to quote Ann Voskamp. A family in our church is left husband and fatherless. A wife grieves deep; children miss a daddy. And our faith community gathers around to remember, to share in the mourning, provide necessities, and always, pray. This current week starts off with me tired, and having my own week of hard eucharisteo. Perhaps I'll share when it's appropriate. Till then, I will keep on keeping on in eucharisteo for:

150. Planning out and organizing my week.

151. Robin hopping in soft-falling snow.

152. Yoga pants and a comfy, lazy day.

153. A long overdue phone call with my Mom...chatting long, talking much, sharing over 1500 km., and missing each other...

154. Grief at the sudden loss of a brother-in-the-Lord, but also knowing it's "till we meet again."

155. Chickadees singing and eating at our bird-feeders.

156. J.D.'s friendship and encouragement on an emotional afternoon.

157. Seeing fellow believers being the hands and feet to a grieving family.

158. Knowing He cares and loves, despite me missing time at His feet..."could you not watch, even one hour with Me?"

159. A midday chat with my husband the engineer...away from us for work.

160. Crafting two pomander balls for our Great Room.

161. Having a good week, despite my husband the engineer being away for work.

162. Friends grieving and giving hard eucharisteo together.

163. Random snuggles with DS.

164. Helping DD handle her emotions in a healthy way.

165. My husband the engineer returning from a week away for work, and exclamations of "DADDY!!!"

166. Prayer beads and the ancient prayers guiding my thoughts and prayers directed to God above.

167. Rearranging furniture and items in the home for a free makeover!

168. Lunch with friends from out of town, with fellowship, laughter, and jibes at our beloved sports teams.

169. Hard eucharisteo even when I feel overwhelmed...even when I wonder where is God and what is He doing in and with my life? "When all around my soul gives way, He then is all my hope and stay..."

For more eucharisteo, pop over to Ann Voskamp's.

7 Quick Takes - Vol. VI - Official Spring Ed.

2011-03-25T21:44:00.006-04:00

1. I cannot believe it's Friday. Where did this past week go...scratch that, where did the whole month of March go???

2. This week, my husband the engineer was away for work. The week went relatively smoothly on the home front.

3. In keeping with it being spring, we are seeing lots of birds at our bird feeders. I finally saw some robins this week; I've been hearing a cardinal singing in our neighbourhood, but he's keeping himself well-hidden; chickadees have been out in abundance. I have yet to see bluejays.

4. It must truly be spring, because I have a cleaning and purging bug. It could also be from watching a couple episodes of Hoarding: Buried Alive, and being very determined I. will. not. end. up. like. that.

5. In an effort to bring some spring into our home decor, I made 2 pomander balls this week, for the bowl on our ottoman cum coffee table. I love how they look. I may make some more. I will post a picture soon.

6. I have instructions for how to make a ribbon bow...can't wait to make one this week. Mission? To make sure I have enough ribbon, both in quantity and variety for the wreath. I will post a picture when it's complete.

7. And because it's Friday, here's a picture of a card I made:

For more quick takes, go over to Conversion Diary!

Muchas Monday - Suddenly It's Spring Ed.

2011-03-21T07:53:00.004-04:00

So, after a week of glorious weather, I wake up this morning to s**w falling. Yes I know it's terribly Canadian to talk about the weather, eh, and complain about the snow (no, this is not the land of perpetual winter), but really...after a week of around 10-13 degree C. weather, it is rather deflating to look out the window and see the white stuff falling. Although...as I look out the window now, I see a robing hopping around amidst the falling precipitation so all is not lost!

Without further ado, here is my list of thanks for the past week:

130. Bright sunshine after so many grey days.

131. Kids sleeping long on the first day of March Break.

132. Our 13th engagement anniversary - and the diamond still sparkles, and I still say "YES!" to the man who stole my heart.

133. Lazy days of March Break.

134. Bikes out in mid-March.

135. Finding a new & workable housework routine!!!

136. Having 2 little helpers at home.

137. A good March Break week.

138. Enjoying my kids so much!

139. Holding his hand in the car....

140. A night out to craft at TK's.

141. Spending time with Em. B.

142. DS chatting to me as he helps me clean the bathrooms.

143. Seeing his face light up at seeing me at the end of a work-day...and knowing I can still do that to him after almost 12 years of marriage.

144. Windows open on a glorious day.

145. The beauty of the Book of Common Prayer, 1950 version...makes my spirit sing.

146. A clean house by Friday!

147. A sunny day at the sugar-bush.

148. The smell of maple.....mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....eh!

149. Fresh coffee brewing on a Sunday morning.

For more gratitude pop on over here:

Seven Quick Takes Friday - Vol. V - March Break Ed.

2011-03-18T14:08:00.004-04:00

1. This is March Break week here. The kids have been home all week. We didn't do much this week at all, kept things pretty low key. All in all, it's been a good week.

2. We have had some chickadees in the front yard at our birdfeeder. Spring must surely be around the corner!

3. I have finally found a housework routine that works for me!!! I've been on the hunt for one, after my old stand-by routine just didn't work anymore both because of the season of life we are in as a family and also the ages of my children. Sarah, at Amongst Lovely Things wrote a really good post about a routine that she uses. I used hers, and tweaked a few things to make it workable for our home and routine, and so far, it's been great!

4. After making a general housework routine for myself, I made little mini chore/routine charts for each of my children, printed them off, mounted them on co-ordinating cardstock and patterned paper, laminated them, punched a hole, inserted an eyelet, and put co-ordinating ribbon through in a loop, so they can hang it on their closet doorknob. We'll see how this works, but I think it should be great.

5. Along with individual chores, each of our children will be having "house chores" to do that we will rotate through, one week on and one week off. That way, there won't be as much chance for boredom, getting stuck doing the same thing, and if one child finds a particular chore particularly distasteful to them, they know there's an end in sight. Also, both kids will have an opportunity to get proficient at a variety of things. Right now our list is pretty short, given the ages of our children, but it will evolve as they get older and more capable of doing more/more complicated tasks.

6. My husband the engineer and I are discussing allowances for our children. We are leaning to a simple 3 jar system: Save, Spend, Share (church, etc.). We want to teach them the value of money not being just given to them "just because," how to budget and save money, and also that you "earn" money. We are still figuring out the nuts and bolts of how this will work, but I think we are close to figuring things out.

7. By popular demand, I'm going to post a picture of a card I've made. I make cards, I use Stampin Up! products to make them. I really love card-making. I find it a nice creative outlet for me. I also do scrapbooking, but right now, I'm behind in that and haven't many layouts to show.

So, here is a card I made:

For more quick takes, go on over to Conversion Diary.

"I Just Want Him to be Happy..."

2011-03-17T09:21:00.003-04:00

It's March Break week here, and so far it's been a good week at home with the kiddos. I thought I would take time out to write a post related to last Friday's Quick Take about kids and wanting them to be happy.

I think each generation that comes along has positive things to contribute and build on. I also think that each generation that comes along has some not-so-positive things. One of the things that I think my generation (I'm 34) has contributed in the not-so-positive department, is the extreme child-centredness that comes with parenting. I've seen this manifested in several ways. One way is the ridiculous amount of toys and "stuff" that get showered on our children...as if a kid can't entertain themselves without a bazillion brightly coloured plastic toys that make enough noise to compete with a rock concert. The other way I've seen this maniftested is the way that mothers can't seem to separate themselves from their children...or at the least have themselves so wrapped up in their child, that I wonder what will happen to that mother when, or if, that child ever becomes independent.

However, the one that really gets to me, is the "I just want him to be happy" syndrome. The sad thing is the extent to which this has infected the Christian community. Happiness is not something that the Bible says much, if anything, about, in terms of our lives. There is much said about joy, contentment, and peace, but happiness isn't something that, as Christians, we are to be striving after. I think the reason for this, is that happiness is usually based on circumstances, things, is dependent on how we are treated by others, etc. Contrast that with the fruit of the Spirit joy...you can have joy even if circumstances are hard and trying...you can have joy even if you aren't treated well by others (look at Jesus for our example in this),and you can have joy without a mountain of "stuff."

Happiness is very materialistic...especially as it relates to children. They will be happy if they have x, y, or z. They will be happy if they have this shirt or that pair of pants. They will be happy if they are in soccer, swimming, ballet and art. The pursuit of happiness with children will also lead parents to not want to have their child upset under any circumstances...even in discipline. Is it any wonder that we have a bunch of kids coming up through school now that have never been shown boundaries, and freak out the minute they are told "no?" Or, is it any wonder that we have the same group of kids coming up through that have no idea about how to do things for themselves, or who have never had to do chores or help out at home? The desire for kids to be happy means that if we ask them to do things around the house, and they are upset, they aren't happy...and we want them to be happy, after all.

Indulge me for a moment: if life doesn't make me happy, I'll pursue an escape through sex, drugs, or alcohol. If my wife/husband doesn't make me happy, I'll divorce them and get someone who will make me happy. If my church doesn't make me happy, I'll leave it and go to one that will make me happy. If my job doesn't make me happy, I won't work in it to make it better, I'll quit and find another job...and if that means that it makes my family go through hard times, so be it...it's my happiness that matters, after all. If my car doesn't make me happy, I'll turn it in and get another one. I need to be happy, entertained, and never feel badly for one minute.

Happiness is secondary. I would like my kids to be happy...don't get me wrong and think that I want my kids to have a life of pain and torment, and live a masochistic existence. Far from it. I would rather them be joyful, content, and have peace...and all of that stemming from a relationship with Jesus Christ, ultimately. I want them to learn how to get through life and work through the hard things, and deal with things in a proper way...not escaping, nor seeking to be constantly on that "happiness high." This is my hope and prayer in raising my kids.

Muchas Monday-March Break Ed.

2011-03-14T06:42:00.003-04:00

Another week, and many more blessings and thanksgiving to the Giver of all good things:

106. Folded stacks of towels, all clean.
107. Sleeping children, peaceful, under quilts stitched with love and bathed in prayer.
108. Quiet hum of the washing machine.
109. Rainbow of markers, ready for creating and imagination.
110. Silly bands under piano pedals.
111. Stuffed dogs on the stairs.
112. Making myself give thanks...even when I don't feel like it.
113. Tea with F.B. on a dark and snowy/rainy morning.
114. Baby smiles, laughs & giggles from F.B.'s baby daughter.
115. Trail mix with yogurt chips.
116. Having him work from home.
117. Rich colour of coffee beans.
118. Heavy wet snow...and children playing in it with joy.
119. Neighbours who help clean out each others' driveways.
120. Friday pizza night at home...and homemade pizza.
121. Laughter and snowmen.
122. Kitchen mess after pizza night.
123. Hard thanks in all things.
124. Candle in the Lent spiral at supper and family worship.
125. Wet boots, mitts, and snowsuits.
126. French-fry mustaches at supper.
127. Weekend errand trips.
128. Secret clubhouses built with blankets and pillows.
129. First week of Lent kept...
For more gratitude, go to Ann's here:

Seven Quick Takes Friday - Vol. IV

2011-03-11T15:09:00.004-05:00

1. Can I just say...I know that we've had a relatively easy winter here in the Ottawa Valley. I also realize that we haven't had the amount of snow that we usually get, nor the amount that the East Coast got. HOWEVER...I'm really, really, really tired of snow, grey weather, rain, grey weather, freezing rain, grey weather, minus 35 Celsius days, grey weather, followed by plus 5 Celsius days, grey weather, flash freezes, grey weather...

2. My husband the engineer bought me Ann Voskamp's book, One Thousand Gifts, when he was on an errand trip to our local Chapters. What a help to me that book has been. It has been such a rich journey for me, and I know I will be coming back to that book often, when I'm finished reading it. Ann's words have spoken to my heart, and to struggles I've had in my walk with God. I'm very glad for this book, and for Ann who wrote it.

3. I'd also like to say: I'm tired of hearing "I just want to be happy," or, "I just want my kids to be happy" all the time. I'm hoping to write a more in-depth post on this. Suffice to say, I could care less, in one sense, if my kids are "happy." I would rather them be content, joyful, and peaceful, based on a relationship with God, ultimately.

4. I heard a cardinal singing this morning, from a tree across the street. I couldn't see him, but I could hear him singing his heart out. A harbinger of spring!

5. This week, I could smell a "wet dog" smell in our basement. Upon further sniffing & investigation, I discovered that DS had decided to use the garbage can by the kids' craft table as a makeshift toilet.

6. It's Roll Up The Rim time at Tim Horton's. I've won 3 coffees and 1 donut so far.

7. This weekend is the start of March Break here. I'm hoping to be able to do a few fun things with the kids during the week. Mostly, the week will be more on the low-key side of things though.

For more quick takes, pop on over to Conversion Diary.

Early March Daybook

2011-03-10T17:16:00.004-05:00

Outside My Window

Grey sky, earlier we had some snow...now we have rain.

I Am Listening To
The hum of the microwave thawing Chicken Bacon Pasta for supper...and Busytown Mysteries PVR'd in the Great Room.

I Am Wearing
Navy cableknit sweater, jeans, and wooden cross necklace from Thessaloniki (brought back by a friend).

I Am Thankful For
Neighbours who helped us clear out the end of our driveway this morning...it was wet HEAVY snow...and the plow had just come down our street only seconds before I had to leave to take DD to school. I swear the plow drivers sit around a corner & just wait for us to finish clearing our driveways...

I Am Pondering
Many things...my mind is a whirl right now...mostly because I'm also hungry.

I Am Reading
The Official Biography of the Queen Mother.
One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp (oh, so what my soul needed).
Summer of Light.

I Am Thinking
About how empty my stomach feels right now.

I Am Creating
Last night I created a baby card for DD's teacher who is due to have a baby soon.

On My Ipod
Same as always!

Toward Rhythm & Beauty
Let me just say: the colds this year have not been severe in terms of actual symptoms...however, they have been severe in terms of how exhausted they leave me feeling. I'm just now, almost 1 week after having a minor cold, starting to get my energy back. Needless to say, my daily and weekly routines have been thrown off, and I will need to exercise some serious self-discipline to get them back on track.

To Live the Liturgy
This week has been a total flop with regards to my morning time with God. I have slept through the morning alarm every morning this week...I haven't even heard it go off. I did however, wake earlier this morning than before, but not early enough to salvage my time. So...next week will begin the climb back onto the wagon.

I dug out our Advent to Lent to Ascension Wreath/Spiral, to count down the 40 days to Easter...our kids like it. For Lent, I've decided to wear my cross necklaces, whenever I want to wear a necklace. I'm doing this to remind myself of the cost of my salvation. I like the concept of Lent as a chance to prepare for Easter...to examine our lives & consciences, and to enter into the reality of the crucifixion. Sometimes I wonder if we take this too lightly...

I Am Hoping & Praying

Praying for JD & her family, hoping they will get some more firm answers soon, to set their minds at ease.

Also praying for Sika, our Compassion Child in Indonesia, and her family.

In the Garden
Under all that white, plants waiting to burst forth with the warmer rays of the sun.

Around the House
Catch up on cleaning bathrooms, vacuuming & dusting, and starting to deep clean the kitchen.

From the Kitchen
Monday: Sloppy Joes (Sloppy Joe stuff thawed from the freezer).
Tuesday: Creamy Chicken Dijon from my Company's Coming Slow Cooker cookbook.
Wednesday: Tacquitos.
Thursday: Chicken & Bacon Pasta (from the freezer).
Friday: A Lo Fat Hawaiian Pizza.
Saturday: Shepherd's Pie & bake some cookies.
Sunday: Leftovers/easy dinner.

Update on the Fam

DD this week: It's been a bit of a rough week for DD...this is the last week her teacher is in class. Next week is March Break here, and the week she goes back, she'll have her new teacher...her teacher is going to be on Mat leave, having a baby soon. I think this has been at the root of a lot of behavioural and emotional ups and downs this week. Also, the fact that March Break is next week, and she can sense these changes before they happen. I truly wish there was some magic bullet to make these things easier for her, but so far, the only thing I can do is try to let her know I'm here if she needs or wants to talk, and encourage her to write out her feelings in a little journal. It's hard to watch her struggle with these things...I just want to fix it and make it better for her...and I wish that she could get through a full school-year with no changes, transitions or adjustments...but life isn't like that either, and these are the things that are preparing her for the "real world." Until today, because it poured rain, she'd been playing outside with a couple of the neighbour children, and that has been good for her. Hopefully a little break next week will be good for her. This week, her class did an "Author Showcase" where they read, in front of the whole class and parents, the fables that they had written on their own. I was a little apprehensive as to how she'd do with it, but...she rocked!!! She did SUCH a good job. She did her own story and came up with her own moral to the story, and it was great. We were so proud of her!

DS this week: This week has been an okay week for DS. He's been taking off with reading. He's been playing imaginatively with his Puppy. The other day, he had a pretend picnic with Puppy and another of his stuffed dogs. He's been making craft things at the kids' craft table in the afternoons as well. He's started taking to getting books out to look at and read on his own, and also has been looking at the scrapbooks I've done, too. He's a funny character.

My husband the engineer this week:Right now, my husband the engineer has the dreaded, and oft-fatal "man cold." Although I managed to go to our Worship Team practice last week, having the same ailment, he will not be going tonight. Humph. However, yesterday he managed to register both kids for the next session of swimming lessons, and we're getting a few things done around the house, as well.

This weekend

Probably this weekend will be a fairly low-key one. If it's nice and isn't a huge lake from all the rain & warm temperatures we're supposed to get, we may try to get on an outdoor walk on Saturday. If it's cold enough, we may try to get some sledding or skating in. We'll see. So far it's not looking very optomistic for either venture. And next week is March Break.

Some Photos
This one is our front yard...with dumping of wet snow from last night/this morning, that has now turned into rain.

And my favourite beverage:

Muchas Monday-Beginning of March Ed.

2011-03-07T08:10:00.003-05:00

When my husband the engineer went with DD to Chapters the other night, I asked for him to bring back Ann Voskamp's book, One Thousand Gifts, back to me. I had checked online, and it said our store had 5 copies in stock. He came home with it. I have been so blessed reading that book, and it's one I will be reading over and over to get more from it. In my walk this year, I'm trying to go deeper and take my Christian walk more seriously. It all starts with gratitude...

93. Food shared with friends.

94. Tuesday cups of coffee and women sharing much and chatting long.

95. Crafting paper and ink into cards to bless.

96. Surprise gift from my husband the engineer..."just because."

97. Sorting and organizing, bringing order to chaos, a bit at a time.

98. Seeing DD splash in puddles.

99. Epsom salt infused bath for body aches and pains.

100. Reading One Thousand Gifts, curled on the couch, with a cup of coffee.

101. Fallen snow on top of deck railings.

102. The smell of cinnamon soap, handmade in India, bought at 10,000 Villages...the smell is wonderful...the smell of helping others in need.

103. Heads bent over a game of chess.

104. A too-brief chat with my brother the musician before a sound-check.

105. The bread and wine of communion...and the wonder that He would die for me.

For more gratitude go here:

The Vanishing Community

2011-03-05T16:46:00.002-05:00

Time was, when you raised children, it wasn't a solo act.
Time was, when you were a stay-at-home mom, you weren't the only one on the block doing so.
Time was, when you had a question about parenting, laundry, baking, or a myriad other things, you knew whom to turn to...and chances are, she was there in your community, at most, a phone-call away.
Time was...
Time is, when you raise children, it is a solo act.
Time is, when you are a stay-at-home mom, you are the only one on the block doing so.
Time is, when you have questions about parenting, laundry, baking, or a myriad other things, you don't know whom to turn to...and chances are, she is not always there in your community, and at most, is a long-distance phone-call away...or even via internet.
Time is...

I've been thinking a lot lately, about how our society is structured now. About how it discourages parenting (trash-talking Natalie Portman's Oscar acceptance speech, anyone?)...devalues motherhood...sees children as status symbols...about how it isolates...about how it undermines and threatens the basis of society: the nuclear family. My dear friend, J.D. & I, often talk about this, over cups of tea and coffee, and relate how this drains us individually and as a society.

If we look at our society now, the stay-at-home mom is not valued, not held up as anything worth attaining to, and is, at best, an example of martyrdom. One aspect of this, is seen in how society in general, does not value self-sacrifice. If I choose to leave the work-force to raise a family, I will have to give up x, y and z. Children are not seen as being "worth the trade-off." Also? We've bought into the myth that we can have it all and do it all. Having it all, is having more stuff, really when it gets down to brass tacks. Having it all is the gorgeous single-family home, 2 vehicles, the best of everything, the latest of everything, and farming kids out to as many extra-cirricular activites as possible. If I choose to stay at home, I will have to give up some of these things, and live more simply...and that is just not an option that is presented as viable in our society. Why, society asks, would anyone want to sacrifice this for a more simple life...for children??? So...

Mom goes go to work, someone else rasies her children, precious little time is spent together as a family, and our neighbourhoods are empty for most of the day. If you are a stay-at-home mom, you know this to be true. On my street, to my knowledge, there are probably 2-3 families who have stay-at-home moms. If you are a stay-at-home mom, you have to go far afield to arrange playdates, meet with other stay-at-home moms. Gone are the days of the front porch being lined up with stollers for playdates down the street. Gone are the days of the sound of chidren playing outside during the 9-5 workaday hours in our neighbourhoods. Gone are the days of women in the neighbourhood rallying around one another in raising of kids, cleaning of homes, baking, swapping childcare whenever life called for it, etc. etc.

I have to ask, is what we have now worth the loss of this? Are we really any better off as a society for having this? Are our children any better off for this lifestyle, this "having it all?" I think not. It's not right for a new mom to come home, and basically be left to fend for herself with a new baby...with no community around her. It's not right for our children to be raised in barren neighbourhoods, emptied of the sounds of running feet and overflowing with children's voices and laughter (gosh, someone might call bylaw on you for making such a ruckus). It's not right for moms of any kind of special needs kids to feel that they have no community around them to help them through the rough times. It's not right for there to be no older voices in our midst to turn to for those parenting questions, those "how can I stretch my dollar" questions, those "how did YOU do this when you were raisning a family" questions.

I think there are some ideas we could use to make a sense of community where we are. Some ideas I've thought of:

1) Having a day, every so often, where a trusted older woman would be available to just sit and talk and share with a group of us "newbies."

2) Having a community kitchen day (my church had one of these, and it was terrific) where we learn recipes, ideas for making our grocery dollar stretch, etc. etc.

3) Offering to just hang out with a new mom...offer to come for a day and do the things that aren't really thought of: folding laundry, doing laundry, cleaning her kitchen/bathrooms, doing vacuuming, etc. Those things that need doing, but get in the way of her getting some rest. Or just sitting and sharing and talking, giving some adult conversation and ideas, over a hot beverage.

4) Not being afraid to ask for help and admit we can't do it alone...biggest hindrance I know of.

5) Organize a cleaning bee amongst friends, spring or fall.

Other ideas exist, I am sure, but these are ones that came to mind. Perhaps by implementing a few where and when we can, we can start to reclaim that lost sense of community.

Seven Quick Takes - Vol. III

2011-03-04T10:43:00.003-05:00

1. Cough.
2. Sneeze.
3. Sniffle.
4. Kleenex.
5. Honey-Lemon lozenges.
6. Coffee & tea.
7. Housecoat & pj's.
Yup, I have a cold...it's lovely. *snuffle*

For more Quick Takes, go to Conversion Diary

Inquiring Minds Want to Know...

2011-03-02T18:50:00.003-05:00

This is a random-style post. Not about any one topic, but about several things that have been swirling in my mind the past few days. In no particular order:

1) Is it really so difficult for people to start obeying the hands-free cell-phone law here in Ontario? Today, I saw a guy "trying" to make a left-hand turn on a somewhat busy street, while talking on a regular old cell-phone. Sheesh...

2) We've all heard about and probably been a part of the "Mommy Wars." Breast vs. bottle feeding; co-sleeping vs. sleeing in a crib; baby-wearing vs. not baby-wearing; cloth vs. disposable diapers; and on and on the list goes...
Can we add to this: stay at home moms who "keep house" and stay at home moms who "don't?" Seriously...is a SAHM really more "into her kids" if the house is a perpetual disaster, the roof is caving in, and the kids are running around naked because of lack of clean laundry? And is a SAHM really "neurotically OCD" and "not into her kids" if her home is reasonably clean (check out the link to see what my "terms of reference" are for a reasonably clean home), things are clean, tidy, and reasonably in order? Notice, I didn't say "looks like the cover of Style At Home/House & Home/House Beautiful." I said "reasonably clean."

Here's the deal: my husband the engineer works from ~8:30-5:00 p.m. each day. My "job" is to run the house...make sure the kids are off to school, lunches made, clothes are laundered, dishes done & put away, etc. etc. I don't begrudge spending time playing with my kids and enjoying time with them. Here's the thing though: my job as mom is not to be The Entertainment Co-Ordinator for my kids, nor am I to be their best friend. One of the best things I can do for them, is to give them the gift of independent play and entertainment; let them figure things out on their own (within reason); let them be imaginative. My best times with my kids are when I'm cooking in the kitchen, and they are reading to me, or playing near me. Or, now that DD is reading and understanding things really well, having her asking me questions about the recipe I'm cooking from. Also? I enjoy having a reasonably clean, and well-ordered home. I want my home to be a haven for all of us...and I want it to look reasonably clean. I don't mean to sound all 1950s, but really, my home reflects on what I do around here...my husband would get in a lot of trouble if he were as loosey-goosey with things on his job...but yet it's ok for me because I'm "just" a SAHM for the laundry to go...and the house to look like DogPatch? Something's wrong with this picture, imho.

3) Is it wrong to train our kids to help out around the house/do chores? I feel like Captain Crusty sometimes. Why? You see, I have my kids help out around the house...do those dreaded CHORES. Oh my...a child should simply never have to do any work...they should play all day right? NOT. One of the best gifts I can give any future son or daughter in law, is my child, delivered to adulthood, capable of running a home, reasonably clean, and efficiently. I do not want to hear my future daughter in law complaining that my son leaves his dirty underwear all over the floor. I do not want to hear my future son in law complaining that all my daughter knows how to cook is Kraft Dinner. So, our kids help out. They each take turns setting the table. They are both responsible for clearing their own place-setting off the table at the end of mealtimes, and putting the dishes in the dishwasher. At least once a week, depending on what is in need of doing at a particular moment, DD will handwash the dishes that I don't/can't put in the dishwasher (excluding fine china and crystal, and sharp knives). DS helps my husband the engineer gather up the garbage the night before garbage day. Both of my kids sort their laundry. DD helps me clean the bathrooms weekly. DD can also fold and put away her own clothing. DD is learning how to vacuum, and she & DS both sweep the floor. They also both make their own beds and are responsible for keeping their bedrooms reasonably clean and tidy. If they make a spill or mess, they either clean it themselves, or I help them clean it, depending on what it is and the extent of the spill/mess involved. Just because I am at home all day, does not mean that I want to have children who will just expect that "Mom'll do it." Maybe someday Mom won't be able to do it for them, or Mom won't be here to do it for them (having lost my Dad young, as I did, this is very real for me). Let alone, what kind of Mom am I to not teach my kids responsibility...the value of taking care of your own things...the value of doing work before play and leisure...the value of doing something and doing it well? I will not raise DD to be entitled and think that work is beneath her. Nor will I raise DS to think that that's all "women's work."

I'm fine doing these things, these are values that my husband the engineer & I both value and want to pass on to DD & DS. I just feel, sometimes, very out of place...like I'm "vintage or retro" and that I'm swimming very much against what society at large is doing (which I'm doing by virtue of being a Christ-follower), and very out of step within my peer group. My biggest thing in all of this, isn't what others think necessarily...but what I want to pass on to my kids, and what I want to model for them.

Muchas Monday-Last Day of February Edition

2011-02-28T06:36:00.003-05:00

Oh so many things for which to be thankful. I've been hit this week by how much we have, here in the West, how much we take for granted, and how many things, little things which often escape our notice, are things, which in other countries, are like sought-after-treasure. My list today will reflect some of these, as well as things I've been thankful for over the past week. In no particular order:

78. The simple act of grocery shopping, and being able to provide healthy food for my family.

79. Warm water flowing from a tap...right into my home. Water that is clean, fresh, and that I don't have to trek long distances to get.

80. The rhythm of the seasons. Even though winter is definitely not my most favourite of the four seasons, I do appreciate living in a part of Canada that gets a change in seasons, and where the weather is not the same year round.

81. Having an extra pantry area in which to stockpile extra foodstuffs for my family...so we don't run out of things like diced tomatoes, red & kidney beans.

82. Cooking & baking for the freezer, so I can have healthful meals/dishes in a pinch.

83. Having a washer & dryer in my home, so I don't have to trek to a nearby (relatively) body of water (which may or may not be clean) to wash by hand my family's laundry. Also? Having a clothesline on which to dry my laundry during non-winter months.

84. DD discovering that The Lord's Prayer is in her Bible...and mine, too...and Daddy's! Ah, the simplicity of childhood learning and discovery!

85. DS beaming ear to ear about having a sleepover at Grampy & Grammy's on the weekend.

86. DD slowly mastering the art of swimming underwater.

87. Listening to DD practice, over & over, her first piano lessons...and her desire to learn more.

88. Having a piano in our house, on which we can make music whenever we want, for as long as we want (within reason), at any time we want.

89. Owning multiple copies of The Bible...

90. Owning more than one pair of shoes...and all of them wearable.

91. Having access to good healthcare.

92. Having a government that, while I may disagree with its policies, wants the best for its citizens and has a sterling reputation worldwide.

For more gratitude, pop on over here:

7 Quick Takes Vol. II

2011-02-27T17:00:00.004-05:00

I missed posting Seven Quick Takes on Friday...so today will have to do! I'll combine this and make it a weekend posting. This is a random assortment of things:

1. May I start by stating that I've realized although I've had a lazy two weeks, it has done little for my motivation in general. So, I'm determined to work on that this week.

2. I've been teaching my children The Lord's Prayer at their nightly bedtime routine. DD, my eldest, came up to me the other day and said, "Mommy, that prayer you are teaching me? I found it in my Bible and read it there. Do you have in your Bible too?" "Yes," I replied. "Wow...and is it in Daddy's Bible, too? And everybody's Bible?" "Yes, it is!" I said.

3. For Frugalness, because it's Friday!: I made a large batch of my own granola, and put it in our freezer. I also made a big batch of a homemade "Bisquick" type of mix, to use for pancakes, biscuits, etc. I can't wait to use it! I love having homemade "mixes" handy, to make for a quick meal or dish...or snack!

4. I love reading!!! I always have loved reading, and now I am thrilled that this love of reading & books has been passed along to both of our children! I love the "escape" that happens in the pages of a book...right now for instance, I'm awaiting transportation back in time to WWII London, during the Blitz. I'm reading the official biography of the Queen Mother. An over 1000 page tome, but so very interesting and captivating.

5. A sneaky meal trick: to get more oomph out of your can of whole wheat Alphaghetti, add in some purreed veggies: squash, carrot, and/or zucchini work well. More fibre, more filling, and more veggies that your kids will never know they ate!

6. Although this week has been one marked by a lack of motivation, this week saw a return to the exercise and healthy eating bandwagon! I managed to run ~3 times, and to get to a Zumba class, as well. I usually run about 5 km. with my dear friend E.B. I don't know what we enjoy more: the run or the fellowship & friendship!

7. Lastly: there is nothing like watching TLC's Hoarding: Buried Alive to make you start wanting to purge and sort in your own home!

More Quick Takes are hosted by Jennifer Fulwiler at conversiondiary.com

Late February Daybook

2011-02-24T11:31:00.002-05:00

Outside My Window
Cloudy day out today. Tomorrow, there is a snowstorm forecast for the Ottawa Valley. I hope it's not too bad.

I Am Listening To
CFRA radio...the hum of my fridge...the ticking of my kitchen clock.

I Am Wearing
Turquoise long-sleeved t-shirt, and jeans.

I Am Thankful For
Having a return to exercise this week...in particular, being able to run with my friend, E.B. again. I've missed these times so very much.

I Am Pondering
Lunch and supper plans for today.

I Am Reading
The official biography of the Queen Mother, and Summer of Light, a novel.

I Am Thinking
About how blessed my life is, despite the hiccups and things that happen in it that are the crosses we must bear here on Earth...and how God gives the grace to handle those things, in His time.

I Am Creating
Ideas for cards that I will start working on later tonight.

On My Ipod
Same as always!

Toward Rhythm & Beauty
I'm working on readjusting my sleep time so I can get up at 5:45 a.m. My rhythm of having coffee with God early, the Five O'Clock Club, has been 0 for 1 this week, sadly. I'm still working on readjusting my housework rhythm as well. I've been doing organizing here and there around the house, as I see the need. Of note: bookcase in DS's room, and the bookcase in our Great Room.

To Live the Liturgy
So, because I'm 0 for 1 this week with Five O'Clock club, I've accepted that this week I'll grab my times with God when I can for this week. Next week, the shoe drops! I've been taking the time, to pray the Hours when I'm washing dishes, putting my book up on my cookbook holder behind my sink. It gives me something to do...and infuses a spiritual aspect to my housework. LOVE IT!!!

I Am Hoping & Praying
For our Compassion child...that her educational pursuits would go well, as she asked us to pray for her in her letter to us.
For the dear gals from Tuesday morning, and their intentions.

In the Garden
Snow, glorious snow!

Around the House
To catch up: dust, clean bathrooms, vacuum & mop floors...in that order!
Also? Start deep cleaning the kitchen next week.

From the Kitchen
Monday: Taquitoes.
Tuesday: Leftovers/eat from the fridge
Wednesday: Red Lentil Soup from Company's Coming Slow Cooker cookbook-ate and froze.
Thursday: easy supper-DH is out
Friday: Mucho Burrito with TK and her family
Saturday: Chicken Parmesan or Lemon Chicken from Double Delicious
Sunday: Leftovers
I also made a batch of a homemade "Bisquick" recipe and have that in the freezer.

Update on the Fam
DD: Has had a good week. The kids had Monday off, and DH too, for Family Day. We spent a quiet day here at home, hanging out, and had lunch at Cora's, which DD just LOVED!!!! We're working with her on money and telling time on an analogue clock, for Math. I've been getting her into a morning routine to get her room straightened, so that when she goes in to do her homework after school things aren't chaotic for her, visually. Her drawing skills are developing really well too...she's getting more detailed, and more imaginative. I'm working with her on connecting spiritual concepts to concrete/life areas...she's starting to do that on her own, but I'm looking for areas to do that specifically with her. I'm also encouraging her to have personal time with her Bible & Keys for Kids devotional. It's hit or miss with her, sometimes she doesn't want to...but I make the time available to her, and encourage her.
DS: Has also had a good week. The reading books he brought home this week, he breezed through yesterday. He's really reading up a storm. I'm really impressed with his reading skills. We have reading time together in the afternoon, and again at bedtime (both kids get reading at bedtime), and he loves to show us he can "read himself." I'm also working on connecting spiritual concepts with everyday life.
My Husband the Engineer: Has had a good week. He's gotten back into working out in the mornings, and going in to work a bit earlier as well. This has been good for him...I think he's more productive at work with the exercise, and also, he's a morning person and does his best work in the morning. He enjoyed having the day off with us on Monday. I'm wondering if he will be working from home tomorrow, with the snowstorm that is in the weather forecast. We will see.

This Weekend
Will probably be a relatively quiet weekend. The kids have swimming lessons...and are doing SO WELL in swimming. Both of them have come leaps & bounds with swimming. If it's nice out on Saturday we'll probably try and get a winter walk in. I'm looking into making Saturday mornings our family breakfast times with making pancakes, smoothies, baked oatmeal, etc. Make it a fun breakfast morning for the kids...something for them to look forward to, and a family tradition!

Muchas Monday

2011-02-21T10:24:00.003-05:00

More counting of blessings numerous and abundant...thank you, Jesus!

65. Winter sunshing sparkling off of pure white snow.

66. Chai Latte scented candles that make our home smell divine.

67. Little boy hugs.

68. Shared Valentine's candy.

69. Caramel Mochas from Tim Horton's...a surprise on a cold day.

70. Pretty cloth napkins...useful and pleasant to the eye.

71. Making cards, eating yummy baking from E.B., and women laughing on a Wednesday night at T.K.'s.

72. Connecting with God in a way I can't really explain, through music.

73. Losing myself in music...playing song after song of worship to Him, and losing myself and all sense of time in doing so.

74. Sleeping in on a Saturday morning.

75. Last minute snuggles before getting up, with DD.

76. Voices lifted in songs of praise.

77. The words of And Can It Be?

For more gratitude, go here:

7 Quick Takes Friday - Vol. I

2011-02-18T10:23:00.003-05:00

This is my first attempt at seven quick takes...

1) The weather has been wierd here this week...very warm weather, so everything starts melting, only to be followed up with a flash-freeze. This has been playing havoc with the outdoor skating rinks, and of course, Winterlude.

2) With all this melting and freezing, there is black ice everywhere...even in my driveway. My left hip found that out the hard way yesterday, no pun intended, when I lost my footing...

3) And I also fell again yesterday, this time in the kitchen...lost my footing on the vinyl flooring, and this time, my left knee got a nice bruise on it. I landed hard enough that time to be shaken up and have a headache...which I also woke up with this morning.

4) Today is a P.D. Day for our kids. DD is off for an overnight with G&G. DS is home with me enjoying rare uninterrupted time with the Wii. I'm thinking of doing some baking with him later.

5) At Christmas, we decided to sponsor a child through Compassion Canada. This is the first time my husband the engineer and I have done anything like this. It's very exciting. We got our first letter from our child last week! One of our projects this weekend will be to write a letter back to her.

6) I've been thinking a lot lately about getting back into a regular exercising routine. It's so hard to get back into one, once you've let it fall by the wayside for awhile. I really need to do this for myself, and for my family.

7) I'm in the midst of switching our family over to using cloth napkins. So far, my stash is pretty well-supplied. I love it! The cloth napkins look so much prettier than the paper...and more practical too. I'm also looking at using more cloth options where I can around the house.

For more quick takes, go on over to Conversion Diary .

3rd Week in February Daybook

2011-02-17T10:25:00.003-05:00

Outside My Window
A semi-sunny/cloudy day. Snow is melting a bit...it's supposed to be up around 5C today, and 11C tomorrow...some nice weather in the midst of a grey month

I Am Listening To
The Chatroom on CFRA...and a pot of Bolognese Sauce bubbling away on the stovetop.

I Am Wearing
My Life is Good t-shirt, and a pair of cargo pants.

I Am Thankful For
My enamelled cast-iron dutch oven by KitchenAid.

I Am Pondering
Starting to do my ironing pile...meh...

I Am Reading
Still reading through the Official Biography of the Queen Mother.

I Am Thinking
About my grocery list & meal menu for next week. Also? Creating blogs with photos of cards I make.

I Am Creating
Ideas for cards to make...and scrapbook layouts for photos I need to get digitally processed.

On My Ipod
Last song I listened to was something by ABBA.

Toward Rhythm & Beauty

I'm still trying to catch up with the housework, due to being under the weather last week for about 3 days. It seems like I have a month of work to catch up on, but in reality I know that is not true. This week, I haven't been getting up at 5:45 to do devotions. I'm overtired, because I've been staying up too late too often. The tiredness that goes with this cold seems to linger...I'm trying to cut myself some slack. Next week will be better...right?!

To Live the Liturgy

I've been missing my morning, afternoon & evening prayers, and my coffee with God in the morning. I've been maintaining an attitude of prayer throughout the day...next week I'll get back into it. I have been thinking a lot, though, about my living out what we are commanded to in Scriptures. This week I've been focusing on self-control and kindness of tone & speech. Not perfect, but definnitely forward momentum is happening, for which I am thankful!

I Am Hoping & Praying

Praying for a couple of our church members who are looking for work.

Praying that my husband the engineer is able to do well in the course he's in for work this week...and that he'll be able to take things in and learn it well.

Praying for Joanne Heim...the recovery she's made has been amazing...click on the Praying for Joanne button and follow her blog...and pray!

Praying for my children at school that they will show Jesus to the students around them.

In the Garden

Still a Canadian garden in winter!

Around the House

To catch up on: cleaning bathrooms, ironing, vacuuming, mopping floors & dusting. If I have time, cleaning the room & organizing the toys of DS.

From the Kitchen

Right now, I have a batch of Bolognese Sauce simmering on the stovetop. Secret ingredients: pureed sweet potato, carrot & zucchini. I made a big crockpot of chili the other day for the freezer...5 containers full.

Monday: Dilly Beloved (from Eat Shrink & Be Merry) with brown rice & vegetables.

Tuesday: Leftovers

Wednesday: Captain Highliner Pan-Sear Selects, Haddock, with brown rice & vegetables (the fish was delish!).

Thursday: Marinara Sauce with bowtie pasta & garlic bread.

Friday: A Lo Fat Hawaiian Pizza (Eat Shrink & Be Merry)

Saturday: Roast chicken dinner with rice, veggies, etc.

Sunday: Leftovers and make chicken soup with the leftover chicken and chicken bones/carcass.

DD & DS & My Husband The Engineer This Week

DD: This week has been an up and down week for her. It's Spirit Week at school, with crazy hat day, Valentines Day on Monday, etc. While the excitement is fun and she likes it, it is also a change out of the ordinary, and I find it makes her moody, to a degree. We've been trying to find things to do with her, to uplift her, and give her praise & encouragement. We found a good learning tool/game to use to help her with Math...in particular, money & monetary denominations. She really likes it.

DS: Is reading up a storm. He's reading by leaps & bounds, and it's just amazing to watch him. He's starting to catch on, on his own, to math concepts as well. I want to start working with him some on beginning math. I have a few workbooks for him that will start him in that direction, in preparation for Grade 1 in September. DS is also excited to get his first mini-solo in the play the Kidz Choir is doing at our church!

My Husband The Engineer: His work week has gone well, overall. He's missed his gym mornings this week, just because of change of routine this week for our whole family. The past couple of days, he's been on a course for work. Like me, he's been a little on the tired side this week, as well.

My Wedding Dress

2011-02-16T12:29:00.004-05:00

Betty Beguiles posted the other day about wedding dresses...so I thought I'd post a pic or 2 of my husband the enginner & I on our wedding day.

We got married August 21, 1999. It was a perfect day...slightly overcast, which originally, I was upset at...but then our photographer told us that it would yield better pictures, for which I was very thankful!

I borrowed my wedding dress, from my pastor's wife. She and my pastor got married in the 70's. What originally attracted me to her dress was the veil...it was edged with lace that was daisies connected together, and the same lace was on the dress. The dress fit me to a T...I didn't have to alter or change anything. It also suited me, much more than the dresses I spent time trying on, wasn't cut "down to there,", didn't show cleaveage, and didn't have itchy lace that left red welts on my arms or chest or anywhere else the lace happened to be.

Our actual wedding went well. It was a lovely day, and all the people we loved were there to celebrate with us the start of our life together. I only wished my Dad could have been there...but I think he did get to peek down from Heaven and watch as his girl married the engineer who had stolen her heart.

The Man I Love (A Belated Valentine's Post)

2011-02-15T13:21:00.004-05:00

I'm a day late with this, but I thought, in honour of Valentine's Day, I would do a special post about My Husband The Engineer.
I met My Husband The Engineer 22 years ago, when we were both in Jr. High. We didn't start dating till we were in first year at UNB. Above all, we were best friends. In my last year of university, he proposed to me, and about 16 months later, we got married. This will be our 12th year of marriage.

The things I love about My Husband The Engineer are many, and varied. Each year, I find new things about him to love...find out new things about him and the way he thinks about things. I love this...it's part of what holds a marriage together...the constant learning & sharing between partners...the fun of discovering something new, and the excitement of finding something you knew, all over again.

I love watching My Husband The Engineer interact with each of our children. He has a special relationship with each one. Our eldest, DD, has been Daddy's Girl, pretty much from day one. He interacted and bonded with her almost from the start. I had her by c-section after 30+ hours of labour. After she was delivered, he went to the Nursery with her, and then brought her back to see me in recovery. She couldn't room with me till I was mobile, which was about 2 days after she was born...so My Husband the Engineer got to do a lot of things that I really couldn't do for the first few days. He changed her first diapers, gave her the first bath, etc. etc. Once we had her home, he helped lots...he was up bringing her in to feed in the night. He also had to help me with stuff I couldn't do...shower by myself, help me up from sitting, etc., till I healed and had the strength to be able to do things again. The tender care he took of me, doing things that I was really helpless to do, was just amazing. The care he took of DD during those days was awesome to behold. He had no experience with babies and the things you have to do for them, and to watch him dive in and do all of this and enjoy doing it, was so sweet to watch.

He was called on to help me with the same things when our youngest and last child, DS was born. I had him by scheduled section, and again, he did the trip to the Nursery, etc. etc. with him. Fortunately, since I hadn't had 30 hours or so of labour, I recovered much better after DS's delivery. Still, he did help me with the same things as before. It was so neat to watch him develop a unique relationship with DS right from the get-go. I think this is true of most fathers and sons. Whereas DD was definitely Daddy's Girl, DS is definitely Daddy's Boy.

I've watched My Husband the Engineer play Barbies and Polly Pockets with DD and do silly girly voices for them. I've watched him do other girly things with DD and enjoy doing so. I've also watched him rough-house with DS, show him tools, and play cars with him and do silly things that men and boys do together. I watch it without rolling my eyes, and stepping in to save DS from being handled too roughly by my husband...I relish watching him bond with him, on the boy-to-man level, and it makes my heart sing. Now that DS is getting older, he's bonding more specially to my husband, and wants to be like Daddy all the time. He lives for doing stuff with My Husband The Engineer. I think my son has no better role model than his dad...and I just delight in watching him, and our daughter, foster unique and special relationships with their dad.

I also love how my husband gets me. He supports, encourages, and builds me up. I love how he encourages me to be myself, to do the things I love doing (like scrapbooking and card-making) and how he takes an interest in what I do (like making cards, scrapbooking, etc.). It's so freeing to have your husband lift you up and give you that extra boost...to believe in you and have a "yes you can" attitude. I love how he helps me find solutions to problems...and how he listens when I just need to talk and not have a problem solved. I love how he does little things around here to help me out, show he loves & cares, and makes life sweeter for all of us in our home. I love that he's a good provider, and a good leader for our family.

All these things and more are what I love about the man I love.

Muchas Monday (Happy Valentine's Day!)

2011-02-13T09:31:00.005-05:00

I'm intending to write a post about love and my husband the engineer, but that will wait.

Here's the Muchas Monday list for this week:

49. The smell of food cooking.

50. Softly falling snow and blanketing in the world in a soft white.

51. Hot chocolate with DD after school.

52. Having him still flirting in the kitchen with me...and me enjoying it! :)

53. Coffee with God at 6 a.m.

54. Praying at dawn with candles lit.

55. White Hot Chocolate from The 2nd Cup.

56. Smiles & sleds.

57. Rosy cheeks after sliding.

58. DD calling "Mommy" and running with outstretched arms after getting off the bus.

59. Women laughing together and enjoying a night of fun and fellowship.

60. Squeals on the waterslide.

61. DS loving playing in the waves at the wave-pool.

62. Courtesy of my husband the engineer: a surprise overnight at The Brookstreet Hotel

63. Having a good talk with my husband with a nice glass of wine.

64. Being able to find gluten-free treats for my friend J.D. and her family.

For more Monday gratitude go here:

Frugal Fun on Friday Vol. II

2011-02-11T13:26:00.005-05:00

Here it is Friday again...that time of the week where we talk about all things frugal.

I managed to stay within our budget this week (yay!), even though I feared I'd have to go over. I also managed to stick to our menu this week and we only ate out once...yesterday for lunch because I was not feeling well. We aim to only eat out once per week, if that...but we leave cushion room for that in case stuff comes up, I get sick, etc.

This week, I did a couple of things differently than usual, which upon further reflection, I think I will keep on doing.

1) I had 2 packages of lean ground beef that were over 1 lb. One recipe only needed about 1/2 a lb., and the other recipe needed about 1 to 1.5 lbs. of ground beef. So, I decided to cook up the whole she-bang and freeze what I didn't use...thereby saving me a step in some recipes requiring ground beef. WHY this hasn't occured to me before now I never will know. But, better late than never.

2) Before, I've usually done my weekly menu planning on Sunday afternoon while the football game is on (yes, we Canadians follow NFL). Last week I decided to sit down and make my meal menu with the sale flyers (which is usually Wednesday or Thursday), along with my grocery list. This week, I added another aspect to it: using my coupon stack as well. I would scan the flyers for things on sale, for which I already had coupons...thus, getting more bang for my buck. I made my list...now, all I have to do is wait for Monday morning to roll around!

Other than that, I really don't have much more to add for the Frugal Fun on Fridays this week. I've managed to come down with a cold that's making the rounds.

Till next week!
And for more frugal ideas go here:

Daybook: Coming-Down-With-a-Cold-Style

2011-02-10T09:54:00.003-05:00

Outside My Window
Sun shining on fresh snow. It snowed late yesterday afternoon and last evening...everything has a new fluffy blanket of white on it...it looks pretty, looks being the operative word. Windchill this morning is quite chilly.

I Am Listening To
The Chatroom on CFRA.

I Am Wearing
Hello Kitty pyjama pants, pyjama top, and my fluffy bathrobe. I'm not feeling particularly well...hence the wardrobe choice.

I Am Thankful For
My husband the engineer getting the kids off to school for me this morning so I didn't have to wait in the frigid outdoors.

I Am Pondering
Whether I should do the baking I had intended to do today...

I Am Reading
The Official Biography of Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother.
I finished Unplanned by Abby Johnson...wow...what a good book. I am so glad I read it. It was a fast and easy to read...emotionally it was hard to read. I could not put that book down. I would encourage you to read it if at all possible...what a testimony to God's grace.
Wired for Intimacy: How Pornography Hijacks the Male Brain...very fascinating. Much more cereberal of a read, but very good...and very insightful. It's written from a Christian perspective. I have this on my Kindle.

I Am Thinking
Of pouring a second cup of coffee.

I Am Creating
I participated in this birthday card class last night and made 8 cards! It's been so long since I've made cards, so this has got me thinking about all kinds of things to do. Most importantly: making Valentine cards for my children & husband. I still need to set aside time weekly to create...I need this...it's good for me and cathartic.

On My Ipod
Same as always.

Toward Rhythm & Beauty
My routine has gone well this week. I've managed to get stuff done. Inserted into the routine was having DD wash the dishes (except for breakable things and sharp knives)...the ones that don't go in the dishwasher and having DD help me clean the bathrooms. She's awesome! And, she's been begging me to help out again too. So I will harness this energy. Also, I've been stocking the freezer with other portions of dinners I've made, and thinking that next week I will try and eat out of the stock in the freezer, some...it's getting crowded in there!

To Live the Liturgy
So this week I got back onto the Five O'Clock Club and started rising between 5:45 and 6:00 a.m. It's been great! I've really enjoyed grabbing my cuppa, lighting a couple of candles, turning on my Golite (for helping with SAD), and sitting down with my Bible, my devotional book, and my book of hours...to read, pray, and commune with God in the early morning darkness. To pray ancient prayers. To lay my day before God and then watch to see what He will do with it. To feel the amazing feeling of knowing that other women are doing the same thing as I, all over North America and around the world. I can't describe this in words, it's just such a wonderful feeling...and knowing we are all praying for one another, most of us never knowing each other this side of Heaven...I shall have to tuck this away for another post some day.
I've also started stopping in the afternoon, after DS goes for his nap, to pray the hours for that time-period...and hope to start praying evening prayers before going to bed at night. I need these hard stops throughout the day to draw me closer to God...my soul needs it. Our family needs it.

I Am Hoping & Praying
Praying for our Compassion child and her family.
Praying for friends & their individual circumstances & requests.

In the Garden
Buried under snow, awaiting for the sun to do its springtime magic.

Around the House
Laundry is done. Ironing beckons, as do bathrooms, dusting, vacuuming & mopping. Some of these things will wait till I've given this cold the old heave-ho.

From the Kitchen:
Monday: Italian Meatloaf from Deceptively Delicious
Tuesday: Bacon Chicken Pasta from Company's Coming Slow Cooker cookbook
Wednesay: Spaghetti Pie from Deceptively Delicious
Thursday: Leftovers
Friday: Roast Pork & Apple Dinner in a Pan from Kraft What's Cooking
Saturday: Crockpot of Chili for Sunday dinner & leftovers, etc. for lunch & supper.
Sunday: Chili & garlic bread

DD & DS This Week:
DD: Has had a very good week at school and is now over the cold/flu she had. She's been doing awesome at helping out around the house and doing little chores, etc. She did amazing at the Superbowl Party we had here on Sunday night with our friends. She helped us clean up afterwards, without us even asking. I've been really enjoying her this week...she's been so open and talkative and asking questions. *Bliss!*
DS: Has also had a good week. He's been doing the penguin unit at school, learning all about the different kinds of penguins. He's starting to attach himself more and more with my husband the engineer, and it is so cute and wonderful to see. DS thinks the world of him (my husband), and wants to be like him and do things like him...he's definitely in "just like Daddy" mode, and I'm just letting him go for it. He couldn't have a better role model.
With both kids, I've started teaching them to pray The Lord's Prayer at bedtime, along with their own prayers. I don't force them to pray...if they want to, they can, and if they just want to repeat after me The Lord's Prayer, that's ok too. Usually bedtime is a time when they are open and have all kinds of questions or want to talk about their day, DD especially so. It's really cool to see their spirituality developing, and I pray God will use that for His purposes & glory.

Muchas Monday-Post Superbowl Version

2011-02-07T08:15:00.003-05:00

Time for yet another edition of Muchas Monday...many more things for which to give thanks:

33) Friends gathering to watch the Superbowl with us.
34) The smell of honey-garlic wings cooking in the oven.
35) Having DD helping me clean the bathrooms and saying afterwards, "Mommy, I like to help out...it's fun!"
36) Supper with friends M.& E. B. and their daughter K. on Saturday...and the soup turning out despite a power outage part way through its cooktime in my crockpot...fortunately not a long power outage!
37) Watching DD & DS having fun at swimming lessons.
38) Couples Night Out with Phil Callaway!!!
39) His hand reaching to hold mine.
40) Playing many games of Old Maid with DD & DS...and them still not being able to give themselves away when they have the Old Maid!!
41) Napping on a Sunday afternoon.
42) Waking up from the Sunday afternoon nap to a Chai Latte from The Sippy Cup Cafe brought to me from my husband the engineer.
43) Making caramel lattes for friends.
44) Having leftovers for my husband the engineer's lunches this week...4 to be exact.
45) Having a former friend & classmate friend me on Facebook and have a chat, unexpectedly on a Sunday afternoon.
46) Communion Sunday.
47) Getting back into the swing of the 5 O'Clock Club after a much longer than anticipated hiatus.
48) Early morning coffee with God.

For more gratitude on Mondays, go to

Frugal Fun on Friday

2011-02-04T13:01:00.005-05:00

I've been participating in a conversation on Facebook with friends about stretching the grocery budget. I must admit, I'm not perfect in this area, but I'm always striving to make the grocery budget dollars stretch just that much more, thereby showing respect for my husband's hard work that brings the money into our home. I've started following several blogs that focus on frugal homemaking, or have a component of such in their content. So, I've decided, in addition to Muchas Mondays, to start talking about my ideas, and ideas from others, about being better stewards of our grocery budget. In the comments section, I'd encourage you to share your ideas too...what has worked? What hasn't worked? I'm all ears...and we can all learn and share.
Since I'm a list person, here is my list:

Grocery Shopping
1) I do my grocery shopping on Monday morning. I'm a SAHM/W, and I have the luxury of being able to shop when the store isn't crazy-busy. I realize that the day of the week isn't the big deal...but I would encourage you to find a day of the week that works best for you to do your shopping. Perhaps an evening works best for you and your family. The point is: do what works, and keep that time sacred to grocery shopping. It becomes a rhythm and routine that works towards making your grocery & meal planning more consistent.
2) After Mondays, I start a new grocery list...I keep it in my kitchen, and add to it throughout the week when I notice we are out of something or running very low on something. (I've found it helpful to make my list in the order of how things are in the grocery store layout...it helps me not to forget the things I need to get).
3) Wednesday or Thursday, when the fliers come, I sit down and make my grocery list and my meal-menu for the following week at the same time. THIS my friends, is a huge money-saver, and will also keep your family organized, and less likely to run out to the nearest greasy spoon drive thru in a pinch because you don't have something on hand.
4) On the same day as I do my list and menu, I also check my cupboards, pantry and freezer to see what I need to stock up on there, as well.
5) When something is on sale, and it's something that's a regularly used/staple item in your home, STOCK! UP!!!! Like crazy! This will save you money, time, and running out of an item.
6) Buy bulk when necessary and within reason...I use Costco a lot for this. I get our milk and cream there, I buy a lot of our staple items there because it's in bulk and the prices are reasonable.
7) Figure out what things you can buy in generic brands. Some things, I've found, do not taste the same and aren't of good quality as a generic brand. Some booboos of mention? PC Cheerios, no name canned soup (granted we don't use a ton of it anyway), and no name cheese. Other things that have been great? No Name tomato sauce, tomato paste, black & kidney beans, etc. Figure out for yourself what makes sense for you to get from non-national brand labels.

Meal Planning
1) I always have on hand, in my freezer: lean ground beef, chicken breasts, chicken thighs, stew beef. Those are my staple meats.
2) I always have made and ready to go in my freezer: homemade chili, marinara and bolognese sauce.
3) This is something I just found out about and will start doing: when I buy my ground beef & chicken breasts/thighs, I will make sure I cook/scramble-fry it with seasonings or marinades, and then freeze. Instant meals or at least save-a-step meals.
4) When I make my menu, I try and make dishes that I can make once, and eat twice...either as leftovers or a meal for the freezer.
5) I try and always have some muffins in my freezer for an easy to grab lunch or snack item.
6) When you do baking, make enough to put a couple dozen in your freezer, so you aren't always in the kitchen...or at that last-minute potluck you have something ready to grab & go.
7) Use your crock-pot! This is a time-saver, and most of the time will give you a meal that you can freeze part of, for future munching.
8) Plan at least one day of leftover/eat out of the fridge meals...that way you eat everything up, don't waste food, and your fridge doesn't get overly-stuffed.
9) This sounds really obvious, but ladies, label your freezer food...with the date. Use the old tried & true FIFO system: First In, First Out. That way, you're moving through your stock in your freezer regularly and you won't waste food or forget about an item. More importantly, if it's in a container that you can't readily see through, you'll know what it is (so you don't accidentally thaw chili at the same time you're making spaghetti noodles, because you thought that that container had spaghetti sauce in it).
And now, it's time for you to share what has worked for you? What hasn't?
Also? Check over here for more Frugal Friday ideas:

Groundhog Day Daybook

2011-02-02T09:02:00.003-05:00

Outside My Window

A snowstorm...10-15 cm of the white stuff is supposed to fall on us today. Schools are open, but buses are cancelled.

I Am Listening To

The kids watching Super Why in the Great Room.

I Am Wearing

My pyjamas and bathrobe...still haven't gotten dressed...enjoying a lazy start to the day.

I Am Thankful For

Technology things like my ipod, my laptop, my Kindle, and my cellphone. They serve purposes useful to me.

I Am Pondering

All the things that I need to do around the house today.

I Am Reading

The official biography of Queen Elizabeth The Queen Mother and Unplanned by Abby Johnson.

I Am Thinking

Of how to simplify meals, meal prep & menu planning...and the grocery budget.

I Am Creating

Ideas for cards to make that have yet to materialize.

On My Ipod

The same thing as before.

Toward Rhythm & Beauty

I've gotten my laundry hampers & baskets all bought and figured out...and boy is it making laundry-time much more easy & simplified for me, and for the kids. The kids help me sort the laundry, and it's a job we enjoy doing together. The kids love it and think it's fun. I love it because it makes doing laundry so much easier. I also purged about 5 bags and 1 box worth of clutter and "why do we have this we've never used it in 11 years" stuff out of our laundry room. I also have 2 bags each of the kids' stuff to pass onto other families for them to use. I'm still trying to figure out what will work for me getting the other housework done, and I've decided to do it on Wednesday and Thursday mornings when I'm home and the house is quiet. This week has been thrown off because of kids being sick and a snowday today...but all things considered, that's where I'm leaning.

To Live the Liturgy

This week started off well with me getting up early to have devotions...but I've had a hard time getting back in the routine. I really need to buckle down and go to bed between 9:30 and 10 so I can get up at 5:45 a.m. This will start getting me into a regular wake/sleep schedule again too, which will be good for my overall health.

I Am Hoping & Praying

Praying for friends who just had a baby, that all will go well and they will adjust well to being a family of 3.

Praying for a pastor, young, who just got diagnosed with dementia. I am praying for his wife especially, as this will inevitably mean a lot falling on her...I pray for strength for her, and for a good network of support and understanding around her...and also for him, knowing he is going through this, and all that that entails.

In the Garden

A heavy blanket of snow enrobes my garden.

Around the House

Laundry is about half done. Bathrooms will hopefully get cleaned today. Tomorrow vacuuming and mopping of floors will happen.

From the Kitchen

Monday: Baked Beans from Company's Coming Slow Cooker cookbook...did not turn out. I had to put them in a pot on my stovetop and reduce the liquid. They do taste good though. I will try another recipe next time.

Tuesday: Ellen's Baked Ziti from Double Delicious. This was excellent, and I will definitely make it again.

Wednesday (today): Sloppy Joes from Company's Coming Slow Cooker cookbook.

Thursday: Leftovers

Friday: Chicken Pot Pie from Kraft What's Cooking magazine.

Saturday: Beef Barley Soup from Company's Coming Slow Cooker cookbook.

Sunday: leftovers/sandwiches

DD & DS This Week:

DD lost her 2nd bottom front tooth last night. She's been home sick since Monday at noon with a horrid cough and congestion. She had a fever yesterday. She's home again today, but I suspect she will be ok to go back to school tomorrow.

DS is doing well...he has a nasty cough and a bit of a stuffy nose, but hasn't been hit as hard with this cold/flu as DD has. He's home from school today because his bus was cancelled due to the snow day today.

Muchas Monday

2011-01-31T08:09:00.004-05:00

I've neglected Muchas Mondays for almost two months now. Without further ado, here is the first Muchas Monday for 2011...Muchas Gracias for:

21) Morning sun shining on fresh white snow.
22) Freshly brewed coffee in the morning made by my husband the engineer.
23) The scent of a Mint Chocolate Candle by Slatkin & Co.
24) Purging assorted clutter & "kultsch" from our home...and sending it off to a local shelter.
25) Baked Beans cooking in the crockpot on a cold Monday.
26) Looking forward to having supper with good friends, JD & her family.
27) Tending to croupy coughs at 2 a.m.
28) A small boy smiling at me first thing in the morning.
29) Feeling his arms around me first thing in the morning.
30) Sticking to my meal menu for the week and my family eating healthier because of it.
31) Ghirardelli chocolate squares: peanut butter squares and mint squares.
32) Life Is Good t-shirts...because life IS good.

End of January Daybook

2011-01-28T12:59:00.003-05:00

Outside My Window
Grey skies, sending down an occasional fluffy poof of snow. It's actually quite a nice day, other than there being no happy rays.

I Am Listening To
1:00 p.m. news on CFRA and DS playing on the Wii.

I Am Wearing
Cargo pants, a long-sleeved t-shirt, and socks (we are back in the land of snow, after all).

I Am Thankful For
The great friendships I've made with the gals from Tuesday morning...I missed them all so much when we were away, and was happy to come back & reconnect with them.

I Am Pondering
Trying to institute a new cleaning routine...I still haven't found one that clicks with me and works for me/our home life yet. SIGH...

I Am Reading
The Official Biography of Queen Elizabeth The Queen Mother.

I Am Thinking
About how "off" our lives & routines are when my husband the engineer is away for work. I miss him so much.

I Am Creating
Ideas for cards I'd like to make.

On My Ipod
Haven't listened to it since we got back home on Monday.

Toward Rhythm & Beauty
I managed to clear out some clutter the other day from various places around the house. I mean, seriously, how many casserole dishes does a family need? How many measuring cups...the 2 that are badly chipped around the top went...? Other things have made their way into my pile of "get rid of" stuff.
This weeks' rhythm has been off because of my husband the engineer being away for work. I plan on getting back on the bandwagon on Monday.

To Live The Liturgy
This week, I haven't been getting up at 6:00 a.m. and I haven't done my prayers or devotions daily, either. It's showing...I can't wait to get back into the routine. My body & soul crave & need it.

I Am Hoping & Praying
Hoping for a good weekend with the family, quiet and relaxing.
Praying thanksgiving for friends' baby who is healthy & back at home.

In the Garden
Totally snow-covered...nothing at all peeping through the blanket of white.

Around the House
Got the laundry done. I still need to wash the fridge out, finish dusting upstairs, and vacuum and mop the floors...perhaps all this will get done this weekend, perhaps only some.

From the Kitchen
Most meals this week have been simple sandwiches, pancakes, etc. Next week though I have some yummy dishes prepared. I'm hoping to reintroduce a faithful servant in my kitchen: my slow-cooker.

DD & DS This Week
DD: This week has been good for DD...getting her back into the school routine has been great, and she's pretty much caught up on her sleep as well. We need to be working with her more on Math though...she's still having a hard time with some of the concepts. DS & I went to the school yesterday for her class dance recital...she did so well and had such a look of joy &happiness on her face. I was really glad to be there and see her. She did so well.
DS: Has readjusted to the daily school routine very well, too. He has weekly reading coming home for us to work on...he's just taken right off with reading, which just thrills my bibliophile heart! Today, he is happy it's Friday, so he can play on the Wii.

The Way He Sees Me

2011-01-27T15:35:00.004-05:00

Sometimes my thinking gets stuck...I can't see past the mistakes I've made, the things that I should have done...the laundry still to be done...the dust-covered surfaces, begging for writing...dishes to be cleaned...clothes to be ironed...yelling at the kids when a softer word would have sufficed...a curt reply...the note that should have been written to the teacher, but wasn't...the email left unsent...the phonecall left un-returned...the clothes that need to be ironed...the floors that need scrubbing...the never-ending, always-there, ever-present, always and forever chores of housewife-dom.
Those thoughts chase me, always at my heels, upstairs, into the sanctity of our bedroom. Standing before my closet in the morning, I choose my outfit for the day...something nice, something practical, but still pretty enough to be feminine, for him. I feel good about the way I look, till I see myself in the mirror...and then I'm undone, like a ball of yarn unravelled on the floor.
The 5'8" scaffolding hasn't changed...but what's on top of it has. I forget that this body has carried and (dare I say) birthed 2 children. DD was over 10 lbs. DS was over 9 lbs. Although the rational part of me knows that my body won't ever be what it was B.K.(Before Kids), the unrational part of me, the part of me that wants to be perfect, remains unsatisfied. I see bulges where there never used to be bulges...fat where I'd rather it not be (why, oh why, won't it deposit where I'd like it to...say north of the 49th parallel, if you get my meaning)...muscles that aren't as toned as they used to be, or should be if truth were told...hips that used to be not as curvy...stretchmarks on my torso.
It's at this point that my husband the engineer tells me he thinks I'm gorgeous...yay, even beautiful. Admiration pours from those gorgeous blue eyes, and he even flirts with me, trying to get me to see myself the way he does. He tells me he doesn't care about what I see...what matters is what he sees. And it's then I realize that this struggle I have with how I see me, also pours into my life with God...
For I battle in my heart seeing myself the way I see myself...the times of failing God, of not trusting Him...of not showing up for our appointed time of meeting in the quiet hush of early morning, coffee in hand...of not praying those ancient prayers, praying His words back to Him...of not leaving my petitions and requests with Him...of not relying on His spirit instead of my own stubborn understanding...of knowing that that list in Galatians 5 is nowhere near where I'd like it to be in my life...of seeing how time and time and time again, I fall, stumble, and can hardly walk this race, let alone run it...of wondering if this umpteenth time of confessing this sin to Him, just might be my undoing. And I have a hard time seeing myself as He sees me: His child...daughter of the King of Kings...complete in Him...clothed in His blood & righteousness...having everything I need in Him only...redeemed...adopted...ransomed...forgiven...grace-infused...blessed...wholly in Him, and wholly His.
Spiritually, I am near-sighted...I can't see long, because of what's in front of me...physically & spiritually. I can't seem to step outside my perspective to gain a renewed focus on what God and my husband the engineer see me as...but those perspectives should matter most to me. And so, I am trying, by His grace, to take small steps each day to "go long" in how I see myself. Perhaps someday, just a little bit, I'll be able to see glimpses of how I'm seen by Him...and by him.
The sin-vision of my soul needs correcting...and this will take time, as all things from Him take time. Much of the important work in this area will take place deep in the soil of my heart...before the evidence is seen in the surface, if the past is anything to go by. And that's ok...because, ultimately, His view of me matters most in all things...and my husband the engineer's view of me matters second-most. One day...

Mid-January Daybook (Vacation Style)

2011-01-19T19:41:00.003-05:00

Outside My Window
It's dark now...the palm trees are shadily outlined against a dark sky...it's warm, but not overly so...to quote Goldilocks, it's just right.

I Am Listening To
The hum of the ceiling fan, and the sounds of DD and DS quietly talking in the room next door as they fall asleep.

I Am Wearing
A new blue t-shirt with the 3 hear/see/say no evil monkeys on it from the Rainforest Cafe (where we had lunch today), chocolate brown capris. And also? No socks!

I Am Thankful For
Family vacation away in January; warm sunshine for this SAD-affected SAHM; Crocs sandals; time spent with my in-laws.

I Am Pondering
Whether to read a book on my Kindle or my "normal" book.

I Am Reading
Chapter 4 or 5 in my biography of Queen Elizabeth The Queen Mother; Chapter 10 in Esther by Charles Swindoll; Solo devotional by Eugene Peterson.

I Am Thinking
About what we are going to do tomorrow...not really sure just yet.

I Am Creating
Ideas for what I'd like to do when we get back home for house-cleaning and grocery/food/budget prep; also a mental grocery list.

On My Ipod
"A Better Way" by DownHere.

Toward Rhythm & Beauty
We're on vacation, so not a whole lot of that going on...but I am thinking about what I plan on doing in this dept. when we get back home.

To Live the Liturgy
This week, I've taken a break from the Five O'Clock Club...but will resume at my normal 6 a.m. time next week. After next week, I plan on bumping it back to 5:45 a.m. I am doing pretty good at maintaining some form of prayer & devotional time...mostly in the morning before I take my shower. This morning, my prayer was strictly The Hours...but my thought is that something is better than nothing.

I Am Hoping & Praying
For friends with a sick newborn; my childrens' salvation.

In The Garden
Palm trees...some pretty landscaped flower beds especially at the theme-parks here. It's very nice...definitely not -25!

Around The House
Helping out with laundry, meal cleanup & prep...that's about it. It's a nice break from the everyday.

From the Kitchen
Simple meal fare here...along with some eating out. So far eating out has been at Cracker Barrel & Rainforest Cafe. One stop at McDonald's with a PlayPlace on a very rainy day.

DD & DS This Week
DD is doing amazing with swimming. The place here has a small pool (3ft. shallow 4 ft. deep ends), and we've been able to swim with the kids pretty much every day in the afternoon. It's a nice break...and the daily swimming will mitigate them missing 2 swimming lessons while we're down here. DD is a natural in the water and I can see her having a lifetime love of swimming/aquatics. It seems to be very therapeutic for her, too. She's turning into quite the little buddy to have when we go shopping. She's really getting good and is patient.
DS is doing well with swimming. We are working on him not freaking out when we let go of him...with a lifejacket on...and leaving his mouth shut while swimming. He's loving the water...and is good...but it doesn't have the same effect on him that it does with DD. He's having fun...random cuddle times are great!
Also, my husband the engineer: he's having a great time relaxing, just away from "it all." I think this break has come at a good time for us both, really...not that anything major is going on (it's not at all), but sometimes a break from the daily grind is a good thing to get you through and give you a chance to sit back & re-evaluate things. I feel like we're falling in love with each other all over again the past month, and I LOVE that. It's fun seeing him interact with the kids and take time to show them things. My fave? Watching he & DD play checkers together; watching he & DS put Lego together.

A January Daybook

2011-01-13T11:34:00.003-05:00

Outside My Window:
A semi-grey day...snow is now covering everything. The grass no longer shows stubbornly through the duvet of white.

I Am Listening To:
CFRA talk-radio and the hum of the furnace keeping our home warm on a cold day.

I Am Wearing:
Makeup!!!!! I'd stopped wearing makeup except for dressing up occasions, dates, and church...for no real reason, just not wanting to take the time. I have come back to wanting to look nice for my husband the engineer. And also? Dark jeans, red lace-trimmed cami, and blue-shortsleeved cardigan...with necklace & earrings...and socks.

I Am Thankful For:
Chai Lattes at the Sippy Cup Cafe, with my friend T.K; my new Australian lambs-wool duvet (yay, no more allergies from down!); Facebook chat, and just happening to catch my brother online; my husband the engineer...we've been having a truly lovely couple of weeks, growing to appreciate & love each other that much more. I love him so much! :)

I Am Pondering:
Ways to tweak my grocery budget to stretch it more; tweaking my daily routine/schedule to maximize the time I have available to me.

I Am Reading:
Queen Elizabeth The Queen Mother The Official Biography
Wierd Canadian Laws

I Am Thinking:
That the 1-866 number that keeps calling here should find something better to do.

I Am Creating:
Order and beauty in my home; also, more inserts for my Simply Adorned necklace (I love it!).

On My Ipod:
Same old, same old!

Toward Rhythm & Beauty:
I re-did my daily routine & schedule yesterday. I made, in addition to my schedule, a housework chore-chart for myself to keep myself "on task" more. I have to tweak the daily schedule a bit more, but then I'll hit print & we'll be done.
I joined the Five O'Clock Club, which I discovered sort of by accident this week. My finding out about this was a very obvious nudge from God. In my previous blog post, I talked about this. Instead of waking at 5 a.m., I wake at 6 a.m. It has been great, and I intend to continue doing it. In about 2 weeks, I will back it up to 5:45 a.m. though, because I find I could use an extra 15 minutes.

To Live the Liturgy:
In addition to rising at 6 a.m. to have my morning coffee with God, I've been able to start praying the Hours more...this has been a huge blessing and a focusing for my prayer life. I love praying these ancient prayers of the Church...which also include praying the Psalms...and by learning to pray these, I will memorize them I know it! :)
I just love rising at 6 a.m. Joining the Five O'Clock Club has been a huge step for me. I had a vision on Monday morning, as I was praying, of a chain of godly women, all praying early in the morning, holding the other women up in prayer...I feel buoyed by these prayers...and by knowing that other women in other places are all praying around the same time I am...and I always pray for the women praying at that time...ooooh, it's just amazing! I think this is a tiny glimpse of what we will experience in Heaven...and it thrills my heart.

I Am Hoping & Praying:
I am praying for my dear friends F.B. & J.D. whose children are all in various states of recovering or not from a nasty cold/flu.
I am also praying that God would give me discernment in a few areas of my walk with Him.

In the Garden:
Snow-covered & dormant.

Around the House:
I am teaching the kids how to sort laundry. My weekly washday is Wednesday. I start sorting & gathering the laundry on Tuesday night. I bought 3 more laundry baskets, and sort whites, lights, brights & darks. The result? The kids are learning an important life skill: how to properly sort one's laundry...and my laundry time is more efficient because everything is pre-sorted. I may get 2 more baskets though: delicate/handwash items, and for heavy darks (I sort my darks into heavy (towels & jeans) and light weight (t-shirts, socks, underwear, that sort of thing). So far, I'm loving this.
I am also getting ideas from a couple of blogs here, here, here, and here for how to better organize my home & life, and simple food prep and budgetary steps that are so simple, I can't believe I haven't thought of it before (like pre-cooking my ground beef with regular, Italian [Spaghetti sauce], and Mexican [tacos & chili]). Can't wait to try this out...and implement a freezer-cooking day each week to stock my freezer.

From the Kitchen (our supper menu this week):
Monday: Tongue Thai'd from Eat, Shrink & Be Merry (pad Thai noodle stir-fry with tofu & shrimp...good, but I'll pass on the tofu next time).
Tuesday: Meatballs with sweet n sour sauce, rice & veggies (meatballs & sauce were in the freezer...and the sauce froze beautifully).
Wednesday: Marinara Sauce (half of which was put in the freezer) with whole-wheat rotini and garlic bread.
Thursday: Chicken taquitoes and veggies.
Friday: Chili (half of which will be put in the freezer) and cornbread.

DD & DS This Week:
DD: has gotten back into the swing of things at school just fine, and is doing really well. We need to work on her writing journal stories though, to make the stories more descriptive & have more sentences. What she does is good, I just think sometimes she gets a bit lazy...as do we all! She's been finding ways to help out around the house, which is just awesome.
DS: We've gotten back into the habit of reading each day, and he's doing really well with his reading and decoding skills. His use of phonics with unfamiliar words is really great, too. He's currently enjoying a rare day of playing the Wii on Thursay...tomorrow is a PD Day, so the kids get to play with the Wii a day earlier than usual (we restrict the Wii to Friday afternooon/evening & weekends).

A Few Plans for the Rest of the Week:
Trying to get all the housework done and the fridge cleaned before the weekend.
Make a plan to re-organize, purge & sort through some kitchen cupboards...and while doing so, make a list of what items I need to get or replace.
Make a plan to deep clean each room of the house over this year...dry-dust and wash walls and baseboards...clean, purge & sort...figure out storage solutions where needed...repaint DS's room (still the old nursery colours from almost 8 years ago)...do paint touch-ups. Dare I dream of painting our front & garage doors this summer? A gal can dream, right?!

Waking Up is Hard to Do (now that I've done it, I know that it's true...)

2011-01-11T14:15:00.006-05:00

So, despite no Muchas Monday posting for yesterday, I had a terrific day. It was actually freezing cold outside...the wind was pretty bitter, piped directly from the North Pole. But it was sunny (!), and I got a lot accomplished...and I had TONS of energy...the! whole!! day!!! What was my secret? I'll share it...but first, a digression:
So, over the past month, I've gotten to follow several mom/adventures in mom-dom/housewife type blogs. Quite a few are by Christian women...one or two are not...another bunch are from Catholic women (shock...wheeze...gasp...drink some water). Most center around housekeeping, cooking, organizing, being frugal, stretching the dollar...you get the point. I've found great encouragement from these blogs and find myself wondering "where were these back when I had newborns in my house?" That, my friends, is how fast things change in 7 plus a few years. Welcome to the 21st century. (Ahem...back to my digression...)...so, one of these blogs had a link to this blog. Back before our computer crashed last summer, or 2 summers ago, I had heard of this blog and sort of followed it...but then the computer crashed and I lost the link, etc. etc. So I was glad to find it again. As I was cruising around on the blog, I noticed button for the "Five O'Clock Club." Curious, I clicked on it...and discovered what it was. Basically, the deal is thus: you set your alarm for (ungodly hour of your choosing), you actually get up when it goes off, you go directly to caffeine source and imbibe, and then you sit down and have your quiet time with God. Easy-peasy, lemon-squeezy...right? After reading about this, I would love to say that I went and spent 2 hours in prayer, and God sent a carrier pigeon with a message from Him that said "Behold, this is a goodly idea, sent from Me" complete with halo, and angelic choir singing. That did not happen. However, I did feel like God put this in my path for a reason (reason being that I wanted to get my quiet time back on track as a goal for 2011), and felt an urging from Him on this. So, I signed up...I figured if I signed up, it would be more public and I would feel more accountable and inclined to actually do the thing. I chose 6:00 a.m. as my wake-up time (for now anyway). I also told my husband the engineer...he was also intrigued.
So, yesterday morning was my first morning doing this. The alarm went off at 6:00 a.m. I lay there for about 5 minutes, then my husband the engineer and I went downstairs and picked our spots for our respective quiet times...he made coffee as well. I enjoyed a quiet, peaceful and uninterrupted time with Him...it was great. I had a great morning...our morning routine went so well, and I got so much accomplished before getting the kids out the door to school. The energy carried with me through the rest of the day...and I made a hard stop mid-afternoon to pray The Hours for that timeframe (another thing I wanted to get established this year). Excellent day.
Today? Not so much. The alarm went off. I didn't get out of bed...I lay abed till about 6:45...and the morning did not feel as peaceful and calm as it did yesterday by any stretch. I feel groggy still...and my quiet time will not be happening today, most likely.
So, lesson learned? Get up when the alarm goes off. You will get done what needs doing, you will feel better, and you will get more done. Most importantly, you will get the day started off right spending time at the feet of Jesus, even for only a few moments.
I would encourage you to look at the Girltalk website and check out the Five O'Clock Club. If the Lord is leading you to do this, go for it. I also found the idea that other women were involved in this so uplifting and encouraging. I felt boosted in prayer yesterday...and such a thankfulness that other women were up around the same time I was, enjoying time with God and praying to Him...and I prayed for them, as I know at least some are praying for the other women doing this. This isn't a pressure thing...if this doesn't work for you, fine. But for me, at least, I'm happy to have found something that instills structure, routine & rhythm into my life...and gives me the boost I need in my spiritual life. My prayer is that He will work in your life to give you that time to carve out to spend at His feet, too.

A Verse from God

2011-01-09T22:16:00.004-05:00

So, I decided at the beginning of the year, along with making goals for myself, how I run my home, etc. etc., that I would really like to have a verse for each family member...my husband the engineer, DD and DS.
Well...on a blog I follow, I saw the verse from I Samuel 1:27 "For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition that I made to Him." It is the prayer of Hannah when she brought Samuel to Eli. "For some reason" this verse has been stuck in my head all this week, with reference to DD.
About a year ago, as I was struggling with depression, a diagnosis of DD being different, and everything just not being "right" I remember lashing out to God in prayer, telling Him that I hadn't "asked for this" that I hadn't asked for a child "like this" and that I hadn't asked for things to be hard like this...that if He truly doesn't give us what we can't handle, and that what He allows into our lives is for our good and His glory, then He must have made some big ol' mistake with me and our family.
Things this year are calmer, and better. Things are going well, both with me personally and with DD. However, I still have moments of feeling out of my element, and even out of control. Enter this verse...and it was as if God was saying to me "But I did give her to you...I gave her to you for her and for you...I gave her to you as an answer to your prayers. I made this little girl...I know her and love her better than you do...and I know what I am doing. Trust me in this...I gave this child to you. I gave you THIS child...and I don't make mistakes. Trust me...trust me..."
And it comes full circle...back to the issue that I have shared a cup of coffee with God over...and poured out tears over...and struggle with over and over and over again. Will I trust God...or will I lean on my own understanding? Will I go with the horrible track record of trusting myself, or go with God's rather, um, eternal and trustworthy (there's that word again) record? I've been praying and asking God to help me trust Him more...could it be, that part of this whole "thing" is to help me do battle with trust once & for all? Could be.
So...THIS child...this gorgeous, blue eyed, sandy haired, full of life & sparkle...that grin...that hair that spills across her face...those little lady hands...the gentle hugs...the little girl that whirls and spins to music, who writes notes to Mommy, believes in the Tooth Fairy, who sings with the voice of an angel, and wants to help out...and says "I love you" so much...THIS child is who God sent to me in answer to my prayers to Him to conceive and bear a child. THIS child...not another child...to ME...not another parent. I feel like I can rest...that I can stop fighting where I am with things. I feel God has brought me here not just for me, but for her, too, naturally.
I don't believe God makes things happen randomly, despite how they may seem to us at the moment. I believe this verse was shown to me, and was stuck in my head for this time, for this child. I will believe that this verse was given to me by God for her. This is another verse from His Word that will become precious to me...and I thank Him for giving it to me now.

Rachel's Weeping

2011-01-07T13:18:00.007-05:00

It's one of those grey January days...snow falling and re-blanketing things in white. A day to curl up with a good book...or, in my case, read some good blogs. If you have read my blog at all, you know I don't usually touch on issues such as abortion, politics, or other issues that aren't usually topics for discussion in "polite society." This year, my word is "Now." I just now got done reading a few articles online about so-called "botched abortions" where babies were meant to be killed, but instead, were still alive and left to die.
Read here
And here
And, this doozy
I have always been staunchly pro-life. I make no apologies for that. Several things cross my mind with this:
1) I have several friends who have struggled with trying to conceive babies. These are wonderful couples, who love children, and are great parents. It makes me so sad to think that on the one hand there are couples who desperately want to have children, and the womb is closed (or in the case of some, closed for a time)...while on the other hand, babies are treated as refuse...trash...not wanted...discarded.
2) I have felt the movements of my babies (DD and DS) within me as they grew...I saw my body change and, yes, grow, as my children grew within me. I knew pretty much at every stage how big they were, what they were "doing in there," what medical interventions could be done for my baby at every stage before full-term, in the chance that I went into labour prematurely. The thought of feeling and seeing these things, and choosing to kill the baby to get out of something I didn't want or couldn't handle is just beyond me.
3) It boggles my mind that in the NICU of one hospital, they work feverishly to save a premature or micro-premature baby, while in the other end of the same hospital, a baby at the same gestational age can be aborted and thrown out as "medical waste."
I fully believe that the holocaust of the unborn is one of the greatest tragedies of our generation...the consequences of which have not yet fully come home to roost. I believe, the more I think and read and pray about this, that this is yet another consequence of our society moving into an area where we were never meant to move. We were never meant to play God. And I also believe that if one plays God with conception, then one will also play God with other lives (the mentally challenged, the physically disabled, those who have terminal illness, those who have long term health issues...the elderly).
Our society has moved to wanting things now. The concept of delayed gratification is pretty much lost on our "instant" society. Our computers aren't fast enough...our digital cameras take too long between "clicks"...making dinner from scratch is too much of a pain...road rage...instant potatoes...instant soup...instant rice...instant pudding...give me what I want, when I want, where I want, how I want and don't get in my way, or make me think about the potential consequences of my action(s).
I also feel that we, the evangelical royal we, have been caught with our pants down on the abortion issue. It's almost like we've decided that since things are the way they are, there's not much we can or should do about it...that ship has sailed, que serra, serra. I don't think this is good enough (to quote from Mr. Holland's Opus: "Your best isn't good enough!")...nor do I think this will wash with God, either. God asks for us to defend the defenceless...to intercede for those who can't speak for themselves...to plead for justice for those who need it. The unborn qualify for all of the above...and the fact that we (the evangelical royal we) are whistling Dixie on this is a blot on all of us. Shame on us...SHAME on us. We don't want to be associated with "those groups" who picket abortion clinics or abortion providers' offices...we don't want to hold up placards or pictures of the aftereffects of abortion. We don't want to participate with "those Catholics" in marches or walks for life...or vigils or prayer services for the unborn. Fine...so what are we doing instead? Squat all, from my perspective. We don't want to do these things...we don't want to help the unfortunate women who have crisis pregnancies...but we'll sit in condemnation and judgment of those same women when they decide to have an abortion...and we won't do anything or make it an easier option for the woman involved to choose life instead of abortion. We are like the communities near Auschwitz who saw the trains, heard the sounds on the trains, smelled the smoke and saw the smoke...and instead chose to play the music louder to drown out the sounds, and ignore everything else. It makes me mad, sad, and heartbroken. How many more millions of babies need to be sent to their deaths before we wake up and get with the program? Can we for once not give a hoot what others think and do what we need to or should do for this cause, that is close to the heart of God Himself?
Here are some of my ideas:
1) Get over the whole Catholic thing...open churches up monthly, bi-monthly, or whatever, to have prayer vigils for the unborn.
2) Form prayer circles near abortion clinics/abortion providers' offices.
3) Make placards with a picture of a pregnant young mom that say "Love them both."
4) Support local crisis pregnancy centres like this.
5) Get over the whole Catholic thing...and participate in Right to Life marches or rallies...so that others can see exactly how many of us care for the unborn.
6) Practice personal prayer and/or fasting for the unborn.
7) Let's work together to find ways to make our churches the first place young women in crisis pregnancy situations turn to...instead of them feeling that that should be the last place, because all they will be met with will be shame, judgment, and condemnation.
8) Write our MPs, our MPPs, and other politicians concerning legislation and our concerns about the unborn...we live in a democracy, people. Let's remember that it only works when we participate in it...and we have no one to blame but ourselves if policy & legislation don't take our views into account.
9) Remember that lots of little things over time add up to big things.
10) Remember this quotation: "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
May Jesus Christ have mercy on us all.

First Daybook of 2011 (aka PROcrastination)

2011-01-06T16:34:00.004-05:00

I should be making supper, finishing dishes, tending to the pile of laundry, and generally being like M****a S*****t...but I thought I would do this instead...remember, I put the pro in procrastination...

Outside My Window
The sun is setting, the colours of the sky are washed out shades of their summery glory...bare trees silouhetted against the sky...dead grass peeking up through a bare smattering of snow.

I Am Listening To
The Cat in the Hat Knows A Lot About That on PBSKids.

I Am Wearing
A long-sleeved turquoise t-shirt (incidentally made in Canada), and dark jeans. And also? Socks.

I Am Thankful For...
Routine and structure of schooldays.
My husband the engineer letting me get 12+ hours of sleep last night...taking care of supper cleanup, kids' bathtimes, reading bedtime stories, and tucking the kids into bed. I think I'll keep him! :)

I Am Pondering...
Whether there are pork chops in the freezer with which to make supper.

I Am Reading...
The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency (almost done).
The Official Biography of the Queen Mother

I Am Thinking...
About the laundry that needs doing; the kitchen that needs cleaning; the muffins I should make; the laundry that needs finishing; and all the things that need to be done in the next week.

I Am Creating
Neat piles of folded laundry.

On My Ipod
My ipod has been sorely neglected in the past while. Still the same ol' playlist though.

Towards Rhythm & Beauty
I am wanting to change my daily routine...I need to rise earlier than I have been.
I need to be more self-disciplined and create a more strict routine for myself.
I am wanting to revisit my house-cleaning routine and structure.

To Live the Liturgy
And here's the part where I turn this into my online confessional:
A. I haven't kept up my devotional routine in the past 3 weeks.
B. I haven't set aside purposeful time to pray each day, except for whenever I happen to think of it.(Failure to plan is to plan to fail...).
C. I have been thinking a lot about how our daily lives intersect with our "head knowledge" of God and His workings.
D. I have been thinking about things I can do to make my daily life more centred around God.
E. And also? I haven't been praying the Hours very much either...

I Am Hoping & Praying
Praying for discernment about how best to implement & follow through what I want to, both with regards to home and spiritual/liturgical life.
Praying for my friend J.D.
Hoping for a good weekend.

In the Garden
Dead & snow-covered.

Around the House
As I mentioned above, I really need to rethink and rejig my housecleaning routine. I actually don't mind doing housework (except for ironing)...I just don't know what the best way for me to go about it is. I've been trying the "do 1 major thing/day" routine, but I feel like I keep pushing things off, or stuff that's important comes up (like helping a friend, etc.), and it pushes my housework to the back burner. I leave enough wiggle-room in my schedule to allow for these things, but I need to figure out a better way so that the house doesn't look disgusting so frequently. Employing child labour from DD and DS is also on that to do list...

From the Kitchen
Monday: Leftovers/clean out the fridge.
Tuesday: Hook Line & Simple (from Eat Shrink & Be Merry)
Wednesday: Chicken Taquitoes (frozen)
Thursday: Life in the Fast Loin (Eat Shrink & Be Merry)
Friday: Tongue Thai'd (Eat Shrink & Be Merry)
Saturday: Deacons & Wives' dinner at friend's
Sunday: sandwiches & soup & leftovers

DD & DS This Week:
DD: Definitely having the structure and routine helps DD cope with things. Lesson learned by my husband the engineer & I from our Christmas break was that we should have implemented and followed through on a daily routine for our Christmas break. The lesson was not lost: we need to do this for any & all PD Days, holidays, vacations, and summer breaks. Also? She has a 2nd loose tooth (the first one came out over Christmas and the Tooth Fairy duly visited).
DS: I can't believe how well DS is reading. He's doing amazing. I played Memory with him today and was blown away by how well he's doing and also how methodical he is with things. I wonder if he will be a scientist or engineer, like his daddy. He's very curious about how things work and come apart. Mechanic might be good too!

A Few Plans for the Rest of the Week:
Try and finish up housework.
Get the trees both down, packed away, and the lights as well.
Try and organize a few little things around here.
Come up with a (better) plan/organizational strategy for the kids' craft area in the basement. I will employ the ideas of my husband the engineer in this as well.
Kids' swimming lessons start again on the weekend.
Deacons & wives dinner at our friends' place.
Play Pick Two with my husband the engineer.

Here's hoping you all have a happy and productive week!

In Which I Write A Review of Christmas & New Years...And Try & Come Up With a Word for 2011

2010-12-31T16:32:00.006-05:00

So, Christmas is done for another year. In our home, we had a quiet and rather laid back holiday here. We went to the Christmas Eve service at our church...a good thing to do when you, your husband, and your children are all participants in said service. The service was very nice...I love how our church "does" Christmas Eve...simple, not a lot of "peripherals" and to the point. Christmas Day, we opened gifts at our home, then trundled off to my in-law's for more presents & Christmas Dinner. Our nuclear family's gift-giving was simple this year, and we really liked it. We bought the kids each 1-2 things within a dollar amount we determined we could work within, and then bought useful things for the stockings: underwear, toothbrushes, socks, and books. The kids loved what we got them...the ukulele was a big hit with D.S., and the basketball was exactly what D.D. wanted. Engineer-Husband loved his new scarf and stocking full of new socks & "unmentionables." I've also told him we'd make Whoopie Pies...as long as I can keep him from eating all the dough before I bake the cookie part of the Whoopie Pies. Christmas Dinner was delish...my MIL outdid herself again. Engineer-Husband and I cleaned up most of the dishes & kitchen for her before we went home.
The rest of the holidays went thusly:
1)Some shopping done.
2) Time spent together as a family just having relaxing days together.
3) Too much oversleeping.
4) An outing to the Nature Museum...I can't wait to go back!
5) Time spent reading with DD.
6) Playing with new toys and instruments.
7) Watching The King's Speech with good friends...not once, but twice! I can't wait for this excellent movie to come out on DVD...Hollywood can make something you want to spend time & money on, after all!
8) Enjoying New Years' Eve with friends from our church.
9) Being glad that school is going back in.
10) Enjoying doing the grocery shopping with my husband the engineer on Monday when school went in, but he had the day off for New Years' Day...here's to doing the everyday things with the one you love the mostest! Muwah...Love you honey!
And...after some thinking and not as much prayer about it as I should have...I think my word for 2011 will be...now...as in live now...in this moment...do things now...pray now...read the Bible now...you get the point.
So, here's to a new year of NOW! in 2011!

Of Advent, Conspiracies, and Traditions...Oh My!

2010-12-18T13:06:00.005-05:00

I love the Advent and Christmas seasons. They are times of quiet enjoyment with family, trimming the tree, looking at ornaments and telling the kids the story behind them (if there is a story)...of finding out at 7:30 p.m. that we need 4 strings of 100 lights and finding out that Canadian Tire closes at 7 p.m. on Saturdays...of sweets & treats that are special to this time of year...of secret joy in knowing that the gifts we've chosen will be well-received and enjoyed...and of the hurly-burly of the year too (let's be honest).
This year, DH and I decided we wanted to do things differently. We had some ideas in our heads about just how we wanted things to be different. Most of our ideas centred on removing the materialism and crass-commercialism of the marketplace & world from our traditions, and centring them more squarely on the "reason for the season", namely, the Nativity of Jesus Christ. We are unabashedly a Christian home...and God laid it on DH's and my heart this year that we should, perhaps, make sure our Christmas celebration and traditions told a different story than the story told by the toy stores and shopping malls. We also wanted to be careful of not being "Grinchy" and taking the joy & the enthusiasm of the season away from our children...but rather, focus it on a lasting joy, not happiness that is here one minute and gone the next. But, as we were discussing this...how to "do" this and do it right...and meaningfully...and in a way that wasn't "cheesy" but that worked and conveyed the message we wanted it to convey.
Enter: Pastor C. at our church deciding to do Advent Conspiracy in our Adult Bible Class on Sunday mornings. The moment the trailer for this was shown the Sunday before it started, I knew this was for me...and would give me some food for thought about how we could make these changes. The premise for Advent Conspiracy is to substitute compassion for consumption. One of the things that hit home for me, was to learn that what we in the West spend on Christmas is more than enough to solve the clean water problems of the Third World. I know it's not that simplistic...but seriously...that's a pretty big deal. The 4 parts of Advent Conspiracy are thus: Worship Fully (Did you know that Christmas shopping is a worship event for the world? They don't see it that way, but if you look at what worship is, and what is done every year at Christmas...it's hard not to see it as worship), Spend Less (and sometimes in spending less, we spend more...paradoxically!), Give More, and Love All. These discussions and what we have been studying have really been what was missing with us. And, these ideas aren't just for Christmas...they should be our focus all year round, and will also influence our giving at other times of the year (e.g. birthdays).
So, on the first Sunday of Advent, our children came down to find a FisherPrice Little People Nativity Set just for them (and it will be put away when we take the tree down, and will come out again next year at Advent). They have had so much fun with this...the donkey keeps on making a scene though! :) I put all their Christmas story books in one basket...and those books will be put away when Christmas is done, so that they can look forward to them next year. We decided to download the Jesse Tree devotional and accompanying ornaments for us to do each night during Family Worship time...this is such a neat way, for kids & adults, to see the thread of Jesus throughout the Old Testament, and culminating in the Nativity Story on Christmas Eve and Day. The kids have really enjoyed this. As my Christmas present, my husband bought me this Advent Wreath, which we have enjoyed nightly...and plan to use the extensions again during Lent and Ascension, to tie those in for the kids as well.
In terms of how we are doing Christmas, we have decided this year to be really choosy about what we buy for our kids. We avoided the Evil Vortex aka The Dollar Store this year...and for stockings, decided on things like books, socks, underwear, pencils, etc....things that they will actually use and need, as opposed to buying junk for the sake buying junk. We also have bought some candy, too. For their main gifts, we got the kids one or two things that added up to a budgetary amount we felt would be appropriate...these were things that the kids had either mentioned they wanted, or we knew that would be a "perfect fit" for them. We also decided for Christmas to sponsor a child through Compassion Canada. We've been wanting to do this for some time, and now seemed like a really good time for us to do this. We sponsored a little girl from Indonesia. I was particularly burdened to sponsor a child from SouthEast Asia, because of the high incidence of girls and women being sold into sexual slavery...it's absolutely disgusting what happens to these girls, and we felt God was putting it on our hearts to sponsor a girl from one of these countries where this is such a problem. So now, we have another child in our family, so to speak! I'm really excited about this...and this will change how we do things over the next year, too (and that's not a bad thing).
This whole area of non commercial/consumerism is really making me think of why I buy things, what purchases need to be made, and how I can best honour the family budget and be picky. I can buy a bunch of cheaply made things, or I can buy 1 or 2 things that are well-made, and maybe a bit more money, but in the long-run, will last longer and be an overall wiser use of my money. I've also discovered a wonderful store here called 10,000 Villages where I can buy things for myself or others that are fair-traded, and support a lot of developing countries. The items in this store a gorgeous and truly one-of-a-kind. I was pleasantly surprised with what I found there. This is a way for me to bless another person, who needs the income from these goods to survive, really, I can feel good about that. These are all just small things, but a lot of small things add up to a big deal. Yes I am just one person...but God uses individuals to do what He needs done. Jesus was "just one person" too, and what He came and did was a pretty big deal...with enormous and eternal consequences.
So, in my small corner, in my home, with my children, and husband, we are finding ways to bless others, be careful about our resources, and focus not just our Advent & Christmas celebrations and traditions on Jesus, but from that, our whole life and all that we do. I want to show my kids that the reasons we do things stems from what Jesus has done in our hearts and that His work makes a difference in our everyday lives. I want to show my kids that what we do, the choices we make, has an impact both here & eternally. That what we do involves others...and makes a difference to them, hopefully for the better.
Have a blessed Advent & Christmas...and maybe you too, will think about these things and be blessed by them.

Mid December Daybook

2010-12-16T22:13:00.004-05:00

Outside My Window
Night has fallen. Quietly, snow falls from the sky and sprinkles everything shimmery and white. It looks so nice...but I still don't "love" winter.

I Am Listening To
The sounds of the Senators game coming from the TV in the next room. They are playing the Minnesota Wild tonight.

I Am Wearing
A black long-sleeved t-shirt, made in Canada amazingly enough and jeans...and my Simply Adorned necklace.

I Am So Grateful For
A simple Advent season; Advent traditions that centre on Christ and make me mediate on Him and Scripture through the day.

I Am Pondering
My grocery list and the pile of flyers I need to go through to make the grocery list, and my weekly meal menu.

I Am Reading
The first book in The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency by Alexander McCall Smith...I love it thus far; A Not So Silent Night by Verlyn Verbrugge...wow...an amazing book that focuses on aspects of the Nativity story that we don't often think about. I would encourage you to read it and be blessed.

I Am Thinking
Of the pros and cons of doing 1 bit of housework per day as opposed to having 1 day/week to do all my cleaning...not sure what the outcome of this thought process will be, but I need to make some changes in how I clean my home.

I Am Creating
Cards, Christmas and otherwise; inserts for my Simply Adorned necklace.

On My Ipod
Haven't listened to it in awhile...same stuff on there as before!

Towards Rhythm and Beauty
The beauty part of this isn't so hard: my home looks beautiful right now, decorated for Advent and Christmas. I love decorating my home at this time of year. I love each decoration and the story behind it. The rhythm part is ok now, but will change on Monday when the kids are out of school for Christmas break. I'm not sure what structure our days will take, but I have to think of a daily routine to implement for their, and my, sanity. We shall see...

To Live the Liturgy
So, my aim to set aside time at least 3 times each week to have personal devotions is going ok. I'm finding I'm getting things to think about, and that I'm really connecting with the Scripture passages I'm reading in my devotional. I've also started praying the hours...this has been very beneficial for me, because it helps me pray Scripture...and as I do it, I'm memorizing it...which is good, because I love memory work and this isn't "hard." It also structures my prayer time...I've found myself to not do a good job "winging" prayer time...so having a structure to work within is perfect for me. I realize this may not be for everyone, but it's been a God-send to me. I'm working on making hard stops during my day where I stop what I'm doing and just pray...this is good. The other day, I also stopped because I could feel myself losing control, and just went in the other room and prayed till I could get my emotions in check and then I was good to go. Aaaahhh...!

I Am Hoping and Praying
Praying for personal growth & direction right now.

In the Garden
All is blanketed in winter white.

Around the House
So, I reorganized our Linen Closet this week, so that things would be more accessible and organized...and pleasant to look at when you open the door (as opposed to a pile of jumbled stuff ready to dump down on you when you open the door). I love the way it looks. My goal is, starting in March, to deep clean each room in our house...dust walls, wash walls, etc. etc. It needs doing.

From the Kitchen
We now have a new servant in our kitchen: a KitchenAid 4 speed blender. Our old one died a slow and painful (and noisy) death. Thanks to my mom, our early Christmas present is a new blender. Can't wait to try it out. Right now, I just love looking at it!

One of My Favourite Things
Lattes from The Sippy Cup Cafe. They! are! so! good!!!

DD & DS This Week
DD came home today with a Character award for Perseverance. We are so proud of her. She does have a ton of perseverance, and this will serve her well as she gets older. She's skipping around happy about it being Christmas...and enjoying our Advent traditions.
DS came home with a gingerbread house today that he made in class...he was so disappointed to hear that it wasn't for eating and shouldn't be eaten! He is however happy to have a canon that shoots a cannonball in his Playmobil Pirate Advent calendar.

A Few Plans for the Rest of the Week
Hopefully I will be able to connect and talk to my brother this weekend...so far we've been playing text-tag.
Finish up Christmas shopping tomorrow.
Get a present mailed out tomorrow.
Finish up weekly housework tomorrow.
Make some baking on the weekend and enjoy the potluck with the other women at church on the weekend.
Preparing and practicing for morning worship at church on Sunday...the 4th Sunday in Advent!

I will write another post later about my thoughts on Advent, our traditions, a simple Christmas, Advent Conspiracy, etc., later. That's all for now friends!

Muchas Monday

2010-12-13T12:09:00.003-05:00

I will journal more later, but for Muchas Monday, I am thankful for:

1) A thin blanket of white over the ground...just enough to make it look wintery and Christmasy.
2) Watching him delight in playing with the kids.
3) Listening to excited giggling of kids playing pirates.
4) Raising voices to the rafters singing carols with other friends and believers.
5) Getting to see the kids' hard work at their Christmas play.
6) Getting good gifts for my children for Christmas...knowing that they are things they want and will play with for a long time to come.
7) Strong coffee on a Sunday morning.
8) The season of Advent...the counting down and counting the days...the lighting of candles in the Advent wreath.
9) Gathering each night at suppertime to light the candle and have our Jesse Tree devotions.
10) Reading other blogs and getting ideas and encouragement from other women.
11) Good friends like F.B. and J.D. to share with, talk with and laugh with...making this Christian gal's walk easier.
12) Dancing with him at his work Christmas party...with him looking at me like that these years later...feeling giddy that he still looks at me like that and knowing he's still in love with me as much or more.
13) Monday sushi!
14) Sock monkey hats.
15) My cast iron skillet.
16) Slatkin & Co.'s Mint Chocolate candles.
17) NFL on a Sunday afternoon.
18) Chai Latte scented candles from Whitewater Premium Candle Co.
19) Doing Christmas differently this year and loving every second of it.
20) Terra vegetable chips and Riceworks Salsa Fresca chips.

Muchas Monday

2010-11-22T21:48:00.003-05:00

We woke this morning to freezing rain, slippery walkways & driveways, and a generally miserable & grey day. The freezing rain gave way to just plain ol' rain as the temperature raised a bit. At least we don't have to shovel rain though, so I shouldn't complain. Still and all, not a fun start to the morning! Our weekend was so nice. Just the right amount of balance of friends, fellowship, fun, worship, and family. Thankful for:
52) A great week while Engineer Husband was away for work. As a friend said, I not only survived, I thrived in that week...which was a huge answer to prayer, as I used to dread him leaving and count down the hours till he got back home and all was right with the world again.
53) Excited faces to see Daddy home again.
54) Kids skipping down the hall at church to Sunday School.
55) Advent to Lent to Ascension Wreath, my Christmas present from Engineer Husband.
56) Enjoying a morning coffee with T.K.
57) Conversation over paper, adhesive, Tombow glue, ribbon, and embossing powder...all to be found at Stamp Club.
58) Women chatting and sharing at a church baby shower.
59) Sharing in the excitement and wonder of a younger woman friend's first pregnancy...and remembering our own first pregnancy and the anticipation that came with it.
60) Having fun at a Disco Dance 50th birthday party for a church friend...so much fun!!!!
61) A challenging and personally meaningful sermon by C.D. on Sunday morning.
62) Enjoying playing All Hail the Power of Jesus Name - Diadem and And Can It Be at a Sunday evening service...two of my favourite hymns.
63) A Monday morning time of fun and exchanging of toys and other stuff at F.B.'s.
64) Shopping with E.B. and J.D., sharing laughs & fun together. Who says 3 is company?!!!
65) Looking forward to the start of Advent Conspiracy next Sunday!!!
66) Having a plan to start reclaiming Advent/Christmas from the commercial hooplah it's become.
67) Seven year old girl curled up in a chair reading a book.
68) Quiet spot set up for devotions, Bible reading and prayer...a spot to come away from the busyness and draw closer to Him.
69) Blowing kisses to seven year old girl at the drop-off at school in the morning.
70) Sharing afternoon grocery-shopping with five year old boy, full of questions and wanting to know about everything in the store!

Muchas Monday

2010-11-15T12:54:00.004-05:00

Another week and weekend gone by. Time marches on, the rhythm of days, weeks, weekends, months...
We've had strangely warm weather here of late. I'm not complaining...the 12 degree daytime weather is very welcomed by this gal who loves the "happy rays." It does, however, make one's wardrobe selection somewhat tricky, and children's outerwear that is warm enough in the morning, is over-warm by noon. I'll take it!
Gratitude for:
35) Saturday swimming lessons.
36) Her eyes lighting up and the smile on her face as she bounced on a trampoline at Play Value for 5 whole minutes (the time limit posted).
37) PlayMobil Advent Calendars.
38) Poring over the new Advent devotionals and candle-wreaths at the Christian bookstore...and desiring one of everything!
39) Jars of homemade goodies from my mom.
40) One last hug from him before leaving on his work trip...he thought I was still sound asleep.
41) Feeling his hand on mine under the Bible in Sunday services.
42) The joy of singing praise with hundreds of other believers...led by Robin Mark!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
43) Seeing her seven-year old face light up when Robin Mark came out at the concert.
44) Seven year old dancing and singing praise with all she is...to the One Who alone deserves all our dancing, singing, and everyday praise.
45) Sunday afternoon NFL football...and slowly starting to learn the rules...like the quarterback not being allowed to just dump the ball to avoid a tackle (that would be from one Brent Favre).
46) Monday lattes from Costco.
47) Sharing grocery shopping and chatting with J.D...who makes one of my favourite things (grocery shopping) even more favourite.
48) Bath & Body Works Mint Chocolate candles.
49) Sharing tea, fellowship, and friendship with F.B., fast becoming a very dear friend.
50) Sharing fellowship with, and listening to the testimony of God's love, mercy, grace, tenderness, and care, for one brave and special lady.
51) Playing, sharing in, and making music.

November Notebook

2010-11-11T11:57:00.004-05:00

So, things have been good, but busy...and I've neglected a few Muchas Monday postings. Not because I intended to, or because things have been going wrong, but just because I've been busy and it hasn't been at the top of my list of things to do. I plan to get back to that.

November is crisp, and cool, and has been joyfully busy thus far. I've decided, in addition to doing Muchas Mondays, to do a weekly notebook, of this 'n' that going on in our family, our home, and my life.

Outside My Window
Early November sunlight, filtered through now-naked trees. I love how sunny this fall has been so far, and my seasonal depression has been better managed for it. Days like today make me wish we had a patio or deck, upon which I could pull up a lounge-chair, bundle in blankets and bask in the sun. Ahhhhh!

I Am Listening To
Lunchtime news reports. Today being Remembrance Day, I'm hearing the sounds of cenotaph services around the country on the news. I'm also listening to my DS playing in the basement.

I Am Wearing
Jeans and a long-sleeved t-shirt, my silver cross necklace, and my old Birkenstocks. My old Birks are well-broken in, and I wear them around the house for added support to my feet.

I Am So Grateful For
Living in a country which is free, and where I have the freedom, and luxury, of blogging in my home. I am grateful for the men & women who sacrificed themselves, so that we could have the freedoms we daily take for granted. I am grateful to be able to pass gratitude on to my own children.

I'm Pondering
What to make for lunch. I really need to plan out my lunch menus more, so that they are more planned and less haphazard. Right now, sandwiches are topping the list of easy & nutritious things to make.

I Am Reading
Esther, Chapters 6 & 7, by Charles Swindoll for my Tuesday morning women's group.

How Do I Love Thee? by Nancy Moser. It's an historical fiction book about Elizabeth Barrett Browning. It's very interesting.

Current issue of Canada's History Magazine (formerly The Beaver).

I Am Thinking
Of what Christmas gifts I should be purchasing for my family. Of how I should really get our Christmas photo-card sent off to Costco for processing, so I can get the cards back in time to send out to everyone, on time for Christmas.

I Am Creating
I *should* be creating cards, because my "stash" is depleted. I need to figure out when and how to work this into my daily routine.

On My Ipod
I'm not currently listening to my Ipod. I tend to listen to it more when I walk, jog or work out. On it is an assortment of music which is "up" music. It's rather hard to work out to slow, soporific music!

Towards Rhythm & Beauty
The rhythm of our home and family right now is just right. The balance feels right, and I feel like I'm able to get done what needs doing most days. I've been able to develop (and am still retuning) a personal routine of sorts, and the kids especially seem to function better within a well-scaffolded routine. The addition to the rhythm and routine of swimming lessons on Saturday is a welcomed change and addition. The beauty is coming in my home as I structure time in each day to care for it in some way or another (like shopping at Ikea for home organizing boxes for our front closet...one step closer to beauty fulfilled in that area of our home).

To Live the Liturgy
Here's where I state that I feel a lot like a "Liturgical Baptist." However, I like the order, routine & rhythm of liturgical traditions. Right now, we are coming up to the Advent/Christmas season. I'm thinking this year of not only using an Advent calendar, and reading lots of the Scriptures in the NT and OT about the Nativity, but perhaps using other things to help mark the season and centre it firmly around the birth of our Lord, rather than on materialism and things. I guess this would also fall under the "what I am pondering section" as well...

I Am Hoping & Praying
Today I'm praying for myself: that I would get my personal devotional time more routine; for my family, that we would keep Christ at the centre; for the salvation of my children.

In the Garden
Are plants that are falling into winter slumber. Bare and deadened leaves adorn branches, stubbornly refusing to succumb to the cold elements. I look forward to moving, adding to, and replanting in the spring. So long, green friends.

Around the House
So, I bought these wonderful black & white patterned boxes for the shelf in our front closet at Ikea. They not only look gorgeous, they hide a multitude of organizational "sins." This week, I've fallen behind a bit in my cleaning routine...due to time constraints, the bathrooms have been short-shrifted. I'm learning not to beat myself up if things don't get done.

From the Kitchen
While the bathrooms took a back-burner, my freezer now has a bin of zucchini, cauliflower and carrot purees. I'm hoping to add broccoli and sweet potato purees this weekend. Why? So I can have a standing army of purees to be able to try out recipes from Jessica Seinfeld's new cookbook, Double Delicious, which I picked up at Costco this week. I can't wait to try these recipes out!

One of My Favourite Things
Caramel Brulee Lattes and Peppermint Mochas from Starbucks...deLISH!!!
My other favourite thing this week is my food processor...the better with which to make purees, my dear!

DD and DS This Week
This week was a week of Parent Teacher Interviews. We had terrific interviews for both our kids...which was totally fantastic. We are especially proud of how hard DD is working this year in Grade 2, and is grasping Math concepts (I'm finally starting to understand the strategies the teacher is using to teach the kids Math and all I can say is, where was this when I was in Grade Two?????!!!! Amazing!!!). Also, DH won four hockey tickets to see the Senators play on Tuesday night. We all went, and had an AMAZING time. It couldn't have gone better if we sat down and planned it beforehand.

A Few Plans For the Rest of the Week
Getting caught up on housework.
Getting some more baking done and in the freezer.
Getting some meals made ahead and in the freezer.
Going out with the kids to get ideas for Christmas gifts for them.
More home organizing (it never ends) and sorting.

Cleaning, Cooking, and All Things Domestic

2010-10-30T17:52:00.005-04:00

This week was a catch-up week of sorts here, for me, on housework. I've managed to get caught up on pretty much everything. Mt. Ironmore I will tackle tomorrow afternoon while watching NFL with my dh.

I'm trying to green up my cleaning products. Mostly I'm doing this for the "not containing yucky ingredients that my 7 year old can't pronounce" factor and also for the environment. So far, I've found some really good replacements for my current laundry cadre. I've discovered Nellie's All Natural products. I bought the Oxygen Brightener and am very pleased with it. As soon as I'm done my current jug of laundry detergent, I will switch to their laundry soda. I've already tried it thanks to a friend who uses it. Also, I like that it comes in a very cool retro tin. AND...there is a place here that you can take your empty tin in for a refill! I'm also trying out Buncha Farmers' Stain Remover Stick for stain remover...it smells wonderful. I've used it this week with awesome results: works wonders on under-arm stains on one of my white camisoles, and worked great at removing mud & grass stains from my son's jeans. For the dryer I use dryerballs, from Nellie's. They are the best...they don't sound like bricks in your dryer the way the Dollarama ones do, and they are just a real quality product that work well, better than the cheapies I've used before.

I've been using "green" cleaners for awhile now. There are definitely some that are better than others, both in terms of how well they clean and fragrance. I tried the ScrubFree Eco bathroom cleaner, and found it highly fragranced. Clorox GreenWorks I've used before, and found to be ok. My new favourite is Martha Stewart Clean Bathroom Cleaner. You start with a clean shower, and follow the instructions on the bottle...it really works, and it doesn't make your bathroom smell like a perfume factory exploded in it. You can use this as an all purpose, full on scrub-down cleaner, and/or as a replacement for Tilex. The other line of cleaning products I've found to be good, and cheap, is PC Green. For cleaning cloths, I use the 3M/Scotchbrite Microfibre cloths...they have held up well for almost 10 years, and a few are at the point of moving to the rag-bag. Method's window cleaning cloth is the best I've used for cleaning windows & mirrors. I also use old toothbrushes and QTips for those hard-to reach and awkward corners. When they are at the end of their useful purpose for brushing teeth, I run them through the dishwasher, and then use them to clean...and then chuck after they are used probably 1-3 times, depending on what is being cleaned and how much the bristles get smushed.

For larger cleaning jobs, I use and love these: the H20 Steam Mop: I used the Shark one before I got this, and when the Shark one bit the dust, I bought the H2O one on sale. I love it...it gets into corners easily, and (bonus!) holds enough water to do my dining, kitchen, entryway, powder room, and 2 upstairs bathrooms without needing a refill. It also comes with 2 mop pads. Dyson vacuum cleaner: THE best vacuum cleaner ever. Yes, they really are as good as the advertisements say. Best bang for your buck: buy it at Costco, because it will come with 2 HEPA filters, as well as the hard surface tool, and stairway tool. Lambswool dusters: so good, and not disposable. Also, lambswool dusters can be cleaned and will last a long time.

I don't mind cleaning...I just like to have good products that do what they are supposed to, are reasonably priced, and don't smell like Chanel No. 5, Clinique Happy, and every Bath & Body Works Scent all mixed together. Happy cleaning trails to you!

Muchas Monday...Birthday Edition

2010-10-24T17:02:00.003-04:00

So, yes, I know it's not Monday...but since tomorrow is going to be a bit of a busy day here, I thought I would get a start on things tonight. Since it's my birthday and since I'm going to be 34, I thought I'd attempt to come up with a list of 34 things for which I'm thankful...in no particular order.
1) My parents...for having me, putting up with me, and raising me to be a halfway decent person.
2) My husband...for loving me, and for being "him." I love you hon.
3) My kids...for being "them" and making me laugh...and for giving me creative writing stories to laugh about.
4) My brother...for being himself, making me laugh, and for being a good sounding-board for me...and for being a great guy.
5) For my in-laws...who are great in-laws, and whom I wish everyone had the privilege of having as in-laws.
6) For my church family.
7) For the awesome gals on Tuesday morning...it totally makes my week to go there, chat, be challenged, and share with each other.
8) For Stamp Club...T.K.'s creative genius can't be beat...and it's so fun to get out for an evening and be creative and "crafty."
9) For my Kindle...my techy-gadget of the year, because it's all about reading.
10) For my cousin A, whose sense of humour and writings can't be beat.
11) For having baking jags to stock my freezer with yummy food.
12) For getting to share my love of reading with my kids.
13) Brother P-Touch Labeller...an organizational maven's best friend.
14) Actually liking/not minding doing housework and being domestic.
15) Finding good laundry products in cool retro tins...because I'm all about the retro.
16) Getting to walk or run on a Sunday night with E.B., my "mommy-mentor" and friend...we have such awesome times together.
17) For teachers who are awesome and willing to go outside the box to help kids.
18) Pianos and keys black and white and losing oneself in music.
19) Crisp fall weather and crunching leaves.
20) Saturday afternoons spent with friends.
21) Books!
22) Rick Mercer.
23) Pumpkin Spice Lattes (yes I know, this shows up all the time...but seriously, what's not to like?!).
24) Beach Boys music.
25) My house, which I really like.
26) Cookbooks.
27) Breakfast for supper!
28) Watching my dh when he's thinking about something...hehe!
29) Being done with physio!!!
30) Kitchen gadgets!
31) Chapters...LOVE that store!
32) Getting to know my friend F.B. better...such a great gal!
33) Bare trees against a grey sky.
34) Last but not least: being a beloved daughter of the King of Kings.

Muchas Monday

2010-10-18T20:47:00.004-04:00

So here it is Monday again...and time for a list of things for which to say Muchas Gratias...

1)The smell of baking containing cinnamon.
2)Getting a desk set up for our daughter on the weekend...she loves to have her own space!
3)The smell and taste of freshly ground coffee beans.
4)Watching NFL on a Sunday afternoon.
5)Spending time with other women at church on Saturday, learning new recipes, and how to stretch our grocery dollar.
6)Laughing with the kids at something silly.
7)Being able to knock things off my "to do" list.
8)Making yummy and healthy food for my family.
9)Finally getting my quiet time back on track after a much-too-long hiatus (and I'm not kidding myself that hiatii won't happen again, but at least now is looking good!).
10)My friend J.D., who gets me, and who is a true friend.
11)Having the internet to be able to stay in touch with friends & family.

Been Thinking 'bout Worldliness...

2010-10-17T17:30:00.005-04:00

So someone on Facebook posted something about worldliness and what a definition of it would be. I don't know about you, but growing up, worldliness was sometimes talked about as a list of things to do, things not to do, and definitely something that we shouldn't attain to. One definition of worldliness could be summed up by the old saying "I don't dance, I don't chew and I don't go with girls/guys who do." Or how about the perennial favourite, the "Baptist List" (no dancing, no playing cards, no wearing pants/jeans/shorts, no wearing makeup, no short hair, no earrings, no attending movies, no listening to music that resembled in any way music of "the world", etc. etc....feel free to insert your favourite rule here). I always found it funny that worldliness according to some folks was a sliding scale of sorts according to each generation...so the '50s generation would surely find anything that the 1960s generation did "worldly" and thus and so down the decades. Disco is considered worldly...no wait, horrible synth music from the 80s is...wait...now it's boy bands...
Quite frankly, I don't think worldliness can be considered to be a list of anything that we can ever come up with. What our lists do or don't contain or even if we have a list isn't the issue, ...the issue is what God says and what the Bible says, which I think is more important than comparing worldliness lists. For me, my definition of worldliness is anything that is the antithesis to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul & mind and love your neighbour as yourself." Can we ever live up to this completely perfectly in this life? No. I had to say that before someone got the impression that we have to be poifectly poifect in order to obey God. But consider this:
If we love God with all that we are, that effects how we choose to spend our time and money...what we choose to listen to...the friends we choose...the clothes we wear. God's opinion matters more than some person with a clipboard and a list. If we love our neighbour as ourself, it will effect how we spend our time: will we make time to help out the neighbour who needs help raking their lawn, or assume someone else will do it? If I love my neighbour as myself it will effect how I spend my money...will I spend it all on myself, or make sure I have some left over with which to help those in need?
I don't claim to live out this verse as it should be all the time...it's nowhere near where I'd like it to be in my life...but it is something that should be at the top of my list each day...how will this decision demonstrate me putting God first? How will this decision impact others around me? I personally feel that if we (the royal, Christian we) lived out this verse more and took it to heart more, it would radically change the western Christian church...it would change how we interact, how our churches function, and it would effect society in a huge, positive way. It would effect how we treat the third world and the third world church...it would effect how we do missions both at home and abroad. If you think about it, living our lives to this standard is radical...it goes contrary to the world's agenda of putting self first and looking out for Number One. Even if you read Proverbs 31...that is living out the God first neighbours second philosophy in a very concrete obvious way. If I love God, I will not dishonour my husband. If I love God I will provide for my family's needs. Right now, my heart is burdened to help in the Third World in some way. I'm hoping our family can help sponsor a child through Compassion or another agency such as that.
This verse, I believe, is the antidote to worldliness...if we live according to this, there is no room for worldliness. God gives us no options...we can't ignore...we can't pretend we don't know...we have no choice but to live radically.

Many Thanks Monday

2010-10-11T21:17:00.004-04:00

So, I've decided something (which automatically means that this won't happen at all the way I'd like it to, but so be it). I've decided to make Mondays the day where I list some things for which I'm grateful/thankful. Mondays, even for a stay at home mom such as myself, tend to still not be my favourite day of the week. It's also a fresh start of sorts.

We had a good Thanksgiving weekend here. My in-laws took the kids on Saturday morning to a local trail where, if one is patient & quiet, chickadees and nuthatches will eat birdseed off of your outstretched hand. The kids were so thrilled to do this! My dh and I spent the day doing this & that around the house and just enjoying a day with no "schedule." Sunday was the typical day it usually is...and it was great to spend the day centred around God & His Word. Today, Thanksgiving Day, we slept in, then took the kids to another trail to feed the birds. This time out we, saw several bluejays, a large grey squirrel, a black squirrel, chipmunks, and red squirrels. We had Thanksgiving dinner at my in-law's, and as usual, the meal was fabulous and very yummy. After dinner and visiting, we decided to go back to the trail again with the kids and see if we could feed more chickadees...we weren't disappointed! This time, I got in on the action and it was the neatest thing to have these little wee birds land on your fingers and peck bits of birdseed off of your hand.

Much has been happening in my life lately that has left me feeling like the bottom side's up and things aren't as they should be. It's easy when things aren't going well, as planned, or how we feel the script should go, to lose sight of what's important. We fall victim to the tyranny of the urgent, which drowns out the important. So, on Mondays, I've decided to blog a list, in no particular order, of things for which I'm thankful...and not just the obvious "my husband, my house, the food in my cupboards," but the "small stuff." Because, as I read in a book last week, "God moves amongst the casseroles."

1)The fall sun...and how it makes the trees which have orange and yellow leaves just glow.
2)Pumpkin spice lattes...homemade and from Starbucks.
3)Fierce hugs from a small boy.
4)The smell of banana bread baking in the oven.
5)Crisp, crunching leaves underfoot on a wooded path.
6)The moist rich smell of a fall walk in the woods...the smell of fall leaves on the ground, the moist, damp earthy smell from the ground, and the smell of a crisp morning.
7)Thanksgiving dinner with my family.
8)Father & son chatting about how best to fix leaky shower faucets.
9)Seven year old girl skipping along the wooded path, eyes full of wonder & expectant adventure.
10)The feel of his fingers laced with mine, 11 years later.
11)That the God who created the universe intends for us to enjoy His world and creation...and not just trudge through our life here...but to enjoy it, because of His love for us.

When Your Heart Aches & Hurts

2010-09-30T17:44:00.008-04:00

The past week or so has been emotionally draining on our family. Although the start to the school year has gone relatively well, especially for our oldest, it has not been without its bumps and hardships.
Without going into detail, it's just been one of those episodes of time where you feel the press of reality on your heart and sould, and it leaves you aching, hurting, and mentally sore...even my soul aches. It makes me hurt to watch my child struggle so with things that we can take for granted doing, being part of, or participating in. As a parent, you want to be able to do things, and have your child do things that are a normal part of childhood...and you expect to be able to do things that are seemingly nonchalant and just a normal part of life...and when reality smacks you in the face, several times in a row, it can be hard to take and harder to handle.
The constantness of having to reinvent our parenting selves has been hard...and when you hit a wall and feel like everything you are trying is not only not working, but failing miserably, it's hard to feel "up" and happy about parenting stuff. Parenting in and of itself involves reinventions of wheels, repairs of wheels, and new wheels...but the intensity and the constantness of which this happens with our eldest, is particularly challenging and hard. No one ever goes into parenthood asking for, or expecting this...and when things go well for awhile, and then you get a week or so of stuff going sideways, it's hard to gain perspective and feel hopeful. Tears have been shed, and God has been hearing from me a lot lately.
I think when we hit hard realities in our walks with God, we hope for the blazing light in the sky, the voice from Heaven, the parting of the Sea, you know...basically a miracle...and when it doesn't happen, doesn't happen the way we want or think it should happen...it can be hard to take. I am also struggling right now with feeling completely adrift in parenting my eldest...and feeling like I should know what to do and how to handle things, but not being able to...and I hate that feeling. I know God doesn't ask us to do things He doesn't equip us for...but I can't help feeling like He sent me into this with half my equipment missing...you know, like the dream where you show up at an event either naked, or half-clothed? Yeah...that's kind of how I feel lately and it's not exactly a nice feeling to have.
Although my personal devotional life has been in the crapper lately, I've been praying lots and lots about this and other things lately. God has been really hearing from me...and it's not just a bunch of complaining. I think we should be free to tell God that we are struggling with things...and I think that when we do that, it's not complaining necessarily. God knows anyway...and sometimes just getting it all out there to Him really does help, if for nothing more than getting it off your chest. I figure if God is big enough to create the universe, He can probably take it!

Savouring September

2010-09-25T17:00:00.004-04:00

I'm still alive...I haven't forgotten to blog. I've just been waiting for something to strike my fancy.
I love Fall...it's my favourite season hands-down. I love the temperature at this time of year...the crispness to the air...the change in the smell of the air. I love the smell of new erasers & pencils; I love going back-to-school shopping for my kids. I love the return of Pumpkin Spice Lattes to Starbucks (I hate saying farewell every spring, but am always glad to see their happy return come September!).
September is a busy month in our family: school starts the day after Labour Day; both kids have their birthdays in September, 5 days apart, followed by my dh's birthday 5 days after the last of the kids' birthdays. Needless to say, with those 3 birthdays so close together, plus my birthday and my dad-in-law's birthday in late October, we are DONE with cake by the end of October...only to say hello to Halloween candy...which, in our house, usually lasts till February or March. We are mean parents, and we ration our kids' sweets.
This fall has been a good transition to Grade 2 for our oldest. The cloud: there still are adjustments and blips on the transitioning radar. The silver lining in the cloud: we have a great teacher with whom we are meeting, and are also planning through some other possibilities. We believe we are at a crossroads right now, with regards to our oldest...what we do now is key, because there is potential there for things to go in a direction we don't want, quickly. What we are hoping and aiming for are strategies that we can use across the board, at home, at school, at church, at dance classes, etc. All that said though, she is doing so well academically and we are thrilled with her teacher this year. She has started dance classes as well, at a local Christian dance studio.
Our youngest monkey is in Sr. Kindergarten this fall and has the same wonderful teacher our eldest had, which is great. He is doing so well and thus far we have no concerns or issues. He joins Kidz Choir at our church this fall, and has been having fun with that. Unbeknownst to us, he's also started reading, and with words he doesn't know, automatically goes for the phonic sounds to figure it out. I'm amazed by his progress.
This fall has also heralded the return of a routine for me...which I believe is a good thing. I need the routine, especially awake & bed times, now that my natural source of Vitamin D (the sun) is going to be not as vibrant as it once was. I'm going to be easing back into a workout/exercise routine, which I need as well. Hopefully this late fall/winter season isn't as hard on me as it was last year, or I may well have to talk to my dr. about other possibilities.
This is my catch-up. I'm tossing around a couple of other ideas/topics to blog about, but till then, this is it.

When God Gives Us What We Don't Want...and Don't Ask For

2010-07-29T19:00:00.007-04:00

I've probably asked God for many, many things over my life. The most important thing I asked Him for was to save me from my sin, which He marvelously did. That instance is a watershed in my life, as it is for any person who is in the process of "all things becoming new." Even though I grew up in a Christian home, to Christian parents, and went to church and "did all the right things" and was "a good girl" I still needed God's grace to save me every bit as much as a murderer on death row who calls out to God for salvation. Other things I remember asking for have been to be able to pass tests both in school & university, to do well in a band performance, to be able to find a good husband, and that's just scratching the surface. We praise God and talk glowingly about how good God is when He answers our prayers, when His answers line up with our realities and our desires. What do we do when His answer is a no, or a different answer than we ever thought of?

The flip side, and this is where it gets hard, is when I ask God for things and He gives us what we don't ask for...dare I say, what I don't want. I remember asking God for a sister, and He chose to give me a baby brother instead. Don't get me wrong, I love my brother...but I do also remember having a tinge of disappointment that I was going to have to play with a sibling who preferred trucks, dinosaurs, and monsters, over dolls and tea parties. I remember asking God, naively, when I was 6 or 7, to bring my Dad back, like he resurrected Lazarus. The childlike reasoning went thus: if God can do anything, and we're told to pray and ask God for whatever is on our heart, and God is the same today as He was yesterday, stands to reason that He should answer my prayer, right? Wrong. God chose not to answer that childlike prayer of mine, and my father remains firmly in Heaven.

I asked God to prosper my husband in his job. God instead chose to give my husband 2 layoffs...the first of which occured not long after we decided to start trying to have a family. That was a huge test for me, personally, because it was something over which we had absolutely NO control (as if we ever have true and full control over anything), and even though we wanted badly to conceive, we were also scared to death of finding ourselves expecting a child with no job prospect on the horizon for DH. At the time, I was working, but we'd decided that if and when I got pregnant, I would be staying at home to raise our children. As always, God's timing isn't ours...and not long after DH got his job, 8 months after that layoff, we found ourselves expecting just weeks after he started his new job.

I remember asking God for a child. How deeply DH and I wanted to have children. God answered our prayers...and gave us a 10 lb. 5 oz. daughter as our firstborn. I did not ask Him to have a delivery by c-section because my daughter got stuck...but that is what I got. I did not ask for a 10 lb. baby...but that is what He chose to give me. We settled in, as a family of 3, with this new bundle of cuddliness & joy. I got into a groove, of sorts, used to her routine, her pace, her preferences...and enjoyed motherhood. Then baby #2 came along...a son...and after his birth, things were different. I didn't get into a groove right away...I had another child to care for, not just one. I had post-partum depression after his birth that never seemed to really go away. I lost the joy of motherhood.

Then came the diagnosis when our oldest was in SK that she was different, she would be different, and the filter through which she viewed the world, interacted socially, and dealt with the everyday ups and downs of living in a fallen world, was drastically different than the filter through which most of us view the world, and, really, take for granted. While I do not have to teach my son how to play, or how to interact socially, I have to teach my eldest that...I have to remind her to do things and say things that "polite society" expects of a six-year old child, and frowns at and looks down on, if not there.

I did not ask God for this. I remember screaming and crying that out to God one day in prayer...I felt I had come to the end of myself and my capabilities as a parent, and the only thing I could do was to cry out to God. "Why? Why give me a child that I obviously have such a limited capacity for? If You, God, give me what I can handle, and what I can take for that day, why does it feel like I'm continually dealing with stuff that's out of my realm? God, I didn't ask for this...I can't handle this...maybe You screwed this one up, God. Parenting isn't supposed to be like this, is it?"

I still have days where I feel completely out of my element as a parent (don't we all...but exaggerated more when dealing with things like this). The hardest thing for me now is when I feel the judgment of the world on me. I confess to, most of my life, struggling with the "fear of man" or, put another way, caring too much about what other people are thinking of me at any given moment. Still though, it is hard...it's hard to watch your child struggle with something like a class field trip, and watching the other children and other parents on said field trip watching your child struggle with not behaving according to the accepted norms. Not that her behaviour is "bad" or has to do with "bad parenting" or "lack of discipline." It's hard to plan for what to expect, even in situations in which she has operated over and over again...sometimes, it's the familiar encounters that give us the most grief as parents. I remember telling a friend of mine that I can plan for every contingency possible and run every possible matrix in my mind of what to expect, and something will happen that is completely out of my realm of planning and possibility. That has happened more times than I care to count. It is hugely frustrating. It's hard to watch your child struggle with social interactions with other children at school and see them having a hard time fitting in and making friends. It's hard to watch other, older children, look down on your child because she is different and does things that are different. It's hard to watch your six year old deal with things that she "should be outgrown" by now, according to all the standards of "normal." Even "simple discipline" can be very tricky, because it's all in the approach, even the wording of things. We still struggle with how much lead-time to give her in telling her of something coming up, a surprise, a trip, whatever.

These are all things I never thought of when I asked God for a child. I don't think any parent ever does. When you think of having a child and asking God to please bless you with this gift, no one ever thinks "And, God, please give me a child who will stretch me in every way conceivable, a child that will be diagnosed as "different", a child that will have difficulty with social norms and behaviours, a child that will be not your tyipcal child in terms of discipline, interactions, and day to day life." No one EVER asks God for those things...and if they say they do, they are lying. People are people and they never ask for the hard, the difficult or the challenging, even the most seasoned and saintly among us.

So, how does this impact my view of God, and the filter through which I believe in Him and my faith impacts my daily life? I absolutely believe God is sovereign and in control, even when things seem like they are spinning out of control, and are not what I would want. Perhaps, someday, I will understand why God chose to give us the child He did...and perhaps I never will this side of Heaven. That is ok. God owes me no explanation. God owes me nothing. I do not believe my job as a parent is to figure out what exactly the "purpose" of all this is. I think my job is to accept, and sometimes this is a daily and even hourly struggle, that this child is different...this child is unique...this child is as much a gift from God as any other child is...and that God loves her unconditionally, and requires that much of me too, as her mom. Even though I know this in my head, it's hard some days, particularly the challenging ones, to remember that...and if I believe it, it should impact how I interact with her, right? Yes. Perfectly? Never. Doing my best by God's grace? That's all I can do, and that's all He asks of me.

So when I am out with my daughter, and you see me struggling with interacting with her, with discipline, with anything...do not judge me or condemn me. More importantly, do not judge her, or treat her as less worthy because she struggles. She is six...you are far older. I'm guessing you probably have bad days and struggle with things too, right? As a six year old, she doesn't have the capactity of a _____ -year old to deal with things. Cut her some slack. When you see children who are different and a parent who is having a hard time, do the kind thing...do not stare, do not sit in judgment with scorn written all over your face, and the "she should do that with that child" attitude...trust me, we can see it and feel it without you saying a word...instead ask how you can help, especially if we are struggling with said child, our other children, and a shopping cart all at the same time. Tell us how much you appreciate us for what we do and for the struggles of parenthood, because God knows, even with "nomal" children there will be days like "that." Realize that our different children are extremely sensitive and catch onto more than you think they do, and they can read from a mile away when you are "looking mean" at them. Realize that it's not a matter of "back in your day" versus "kids these days."Realize that my daughter doesn't have the best filter on what she says a lot of the time...but your older "normal" children do, and so do you.

One thing I find difficult with all of this is having a different child as my first child. I have no "road time" done with raising another child who is older than she is. So often, I find that I'm behind the 8-ball with learning things that work or don't work for her...often things that, if she'd been a 2nd born, I'd probably already know. So, I have the double-whammy of her being the firstborn AND being different. On the brighter side, I am learning through this to be more compassionate and forgiving of myself. In many ways, I'm learning as I go along with this...how am I to know immediately how to do this or that with her? The truth is, I often don't. In general, I think as parents we are often our own worst critic, judge, jury and executioner rolled into one. I don't think that was what God intended for us to do as parents. I think we often take on more in our parenting role and leave God on the sidelines going "Hey...I'm over here with everything you need...hello????"

I'm not naive enough to think that God is done giving me things I don't ask for...far from it. However, I'm also learning through each experience like this, more of who God is, and what I'm made of, and what His power can do through a simple human being...when we choose to start running on His power and not our own.