7 Quick Takes Friday - Vol. X AKA How Do I Miss Thee? Let Me Count the Ways



On this date, 29 years ago, my dad was killed in a car accident. I was six at the time, my brother was two, and my Mom wasn't much older than I am now. I thought I would do my Quick Takes about my dad.

1. My dad set the bar high for me, in terms of what to look for in a husband. I may have only been six when he died, but one thing that is etched in my memory is the love and respect he had for my Mom..and how he would not tolerate disrespect or backtalk to Mom from either myself or my brother.

2. I missed my dad a lot in high school, especially in late Grade 11 and Grade 12. All my other friends had their dads there to take them out to learn how to drive, to the prom, etc. I didn't have that...and I missed it a lot.

3. I missed my dad next when I got engaged. Although my husband the engineer went and talked to my Mom before proposing, I wish my dad would have been there to talk to him, too. A part of me hurts that my husband the engineer never got to know my dad...they'd have been fast friends, I think, and double trouble with practical jokes.

4. I missed my dad when I graduated with my BA. I know he'd have been proud to see me graduate from university. He'd have been very interested, I think, based on the books on his bookshelves, in my BA in History and Classical Studies. It would have been interesting to discuss with him what I was studying.

5. And then, my wedding day. How does a daughter NOT miss her dad on her wedding day? No photos of Daddy walking me down the aisle, giving me away, driving me to the church, perhaps having a father/daughter dance at the reception.

6. The birth of our children,  DD and DS...bittersweet not to call and talk to Daddy after they were born. I feel a twinge of sadness that my children haven't gotten to grow up knowing their grandfather. He'd have been SUCH a fun and good grandpa to them. I think he'd have really relished having grandkids around, and taken great delight in them.

7. Just the everyday things. I sometimes miss that I can't call Dad to get his advice on this or that; to ask questions of parenting advice; just to call and talk to him about whatever happened that day; getting the kids to talk to him on the phone; my husband getting the chances to talk to him about everyday things, man to man.

For more Quick Takes, go on over to Jen's!

Last Week of Advent Daybook

Outside My Window

It's 5:10 p.m. and it's dark now. This time of year, it gets dark around 4:30 p.m. In some ways I don't mind...the SAD part of me minds, though. It's looking like we in the Ottawa area are going to have a green Christmas. Boo.

I Am Listening To

DD is watching Curious George, PVR'd from this morning.

I Am Wearing

Black leggings, tunic-length charcoal grey sweater. The closest I can get to pyjamas for now.

I Am Thankful For

Having all the Christmas shopping done, and some gifts wrapped and ready to distribute.

I Am Pondering

How to get caught up on housework AND get the rest of my Christmas baking done...I need Calvin & Hobbes' replicator.

I Am Reading

How to Read the Bible for All Its Worth, A Praying Life and Grace for the Good Girl. And the latest edition of Canada's History Magazine.

I Am Thinking

About maybe learning to knit? We'll see.

I Am Creating

Not so many crafts this week. But I did create a batch of Shortbread Cookies and a batch of Chocolate Crinkles. I hope to do another batch of Shortbread Cookies, a batch of my Grandmother's Raspberry Bars, and a batch of Cookie Treats...and maybe Holiday Fruitbread (banana bread with chopped nuts, maraschino cherries, and chocolate chips in it).

On My Ipod

Same old same old.

On the car CD player: Stuart McLean's Vinyl Cafe on CD.

Toward Rhythm & Beauty

Ah me, I've been sick with this never-ending cold. Last week I was sick for 2 days and thought that was it...it was enough to set me back with stuff though. It returned with a vengeance on the weekend, and made itself nicely at home in my sinuses. My headaches are going away, but now my voice sounds like a 65 year old chainsmoker and is on the verge of disappearing. Energy is a tad low. I'd rather be sleeping, honestly.

So, rhythm and beauty need a hand....someday soon, hopefully. :)

To Live the Liturgy

...yeah, about that...

I Am Hoping & Praying

For an online sister in Christ and her family...praying for healing and that her family would be strengthened and encouraged.

That this dang cold would go away and stay away.

For the salvation of my kids; for my husband's employer to prosper and be blessed.

In the Garden

All is quiet till spring.

Around the House

Some cleaning; some wrapping of gifts and stuffing of stockings; some more baking; a roast in the crockpot tonight; some more delicious meals later in the week; Christmas dinner at my in-law's on Sunday. Should be a full week!



Seven Quick Takes-Vol. IX

This week's Quick Takes are going to be focused mainly on my Christmas tree and some favourite decorations. Here's the tree:

1. This ornament is one of my favourites. I have 2 of them. I love monkeys, they have always been my favourite animal. I adore sock monkeys.

2. I love, love, love Willow Tree figurines. I have 11 of the figurines, and one plaque. One Christmas, my in-laws got this ornament for me as part of my Christmas gift. It's now one of my favourites.

3. This ornament is the only one I have that is from my grandmother. She made these for her grandkids one year for Christmas. My grandmother passed away in 2003, not having met either of my children. I was in my first trimester with DD when she passed away. We had just told everyone our news  before she passed away. This ornament reminds me of her.

4. This ornament is one that is representative of where my husband the engineer proposed to me, 14 years ago this coming March. The place is Officer's Square in downtown Fredericton. This ornament was made by Aitkens Pewter, pewtersmiths who are in Fredericton. I love their things!

5. This ornament is one that was made by a New Brunswick artist, Catherine Karnes Munn. She painted prints of various famous period houses and sites, mostly in New Brunswick, but also around the Maritime provinces. This one is of Green Gables, in Cavendish PEI, the home of fictional character, Anne of Green Gables (among my favourite fiction books, by Lucy Maud Montgomery). My husband the engineer and I honeymooned in PEI, and yes, we did go to Green Gables in Cavendish. I have absolutely no photographs of that part of our honeymoon. The film didn't advance through my camera (back in the dark ages), even though the counter kept counting...and thus I had no photos of Green Gables, L.M. Montgomery's birthplace, and a few other favourite spots in PEI.

6. This ornament, really isn't a Christmas ornament, per se. My Mom crocheted these hats for pew markers for our wedding. We were married in August of 1999. It was so humid that August. I don't know how the starch held for these, but they did. I gave some of the pew markers away to close friends and family, and kept 3 for myself, two of which hang on our Christmas tree. I love these. Our wedding colours were burgundy and white.

7. This final ornament is very special to me. My Grade One teacher gave us out little ornaments at Christmastime. This was always a special ornament to me because, not only did my Grade One teacher give me that, and she was one of my favourite teachers, but, my dad passed away the 23rd of December that same year. When I was little, I always felt close to my dad when I hung this on the tree, and it reminded me of him, and of my Grade One teacher.

Those are my Quick Takes. For more, go over to Jen's!



{PHFR} Christmas-Style

I haven't linked up for {PHFR} in quite awhile. Life got busy and things got in the way of me blogging regularly. So, now I'm back!

I love this time of year...I love decorating our home with Pretty things like this:

And this:

I also made these:

And these:

Not the candles and other items, but the Winter letters in the frames.

I also made this:

And this:

I got this lovely piece at a Christmas craft market:

The artisan from whom I purchased this,  makes rings, bracelets, watches, necklaces, earrings, wind chimes, hooks, and all kinds of things out of antique cutlery. I thought it was the neatest thing. This ring is made from an old spoon handle!



{Happy}, or, happily, I decided to swap out the shades on the light fixture over our table. They were white once upon a time, but now, they are a dingy off-white, and the seams on them have yellowed considerably. I didn't take a before picture to show you. However, I swapped the shades for this instead:

The berries are dark red and the stars are rusty. Here's what the whole she-bang looks like:

I am happy with how this tree decal turned out. However, if I had taken pictures of the piece in-progress, it would have been in the "Real" category. OMW, what a pain in the neck. Thankfully this tree was in one piece, but somehow, during the transfer process, the transfer sheet folded on itself, of course...and it was the sticky side...so I had to peel it carefully and hope that it didn't rip in the process. As if that wasn't enough, the sticky side did not want to adhere to the wall at all...hardly one section wanted to stick. It's fine now that it's up, but I was not a happy camper putting this blasted thing up.

This makes me happy...and the candles are my favourite scent: Chai Latte. Yum!!!!

{Funny}

I'm trying to experiment with self-pictures. 'Nuff said.

Moving right along, next is {Real}:

I made these Red Velvet cupcakes. I used the President's Choice Red Velvet baking mix, as it is natural and has no food dyes in it. They were really delicious. I made the icing swirls from buttercream icing (homemade). YUM!!!!
In reality, this is what my kitchen looked like:

Sadly, at the time, the Sens weren't doing so hot in their hockey game, so the score fit right in as well:

But then, this is real too, and it makes me happy, and it's pretty...and funny (I have 2 sock monkey ornaments on our tree):



For more {PHFR} hook up over here:







Why My Good Enough is Good Enough

I'm a perfectionist, by nature and at heart.  My default setting is to not do a thing unless I can do it perfectly. I can pick out every mistake in my piano-playing, crafting, recipes, scrapbooking, card-making, etc. This even spills over into my spiritual life...I see only the days that I didn't get my time with God, that I didn't pray, that I didn't pray for this or that person, or this or that issue. I see where I missed an opportunity to share, to encourage.
So, it's no surprise that I'm this way as a parent, as well. I have never, ever been able to say about myself that I'm a good Mom. It even took me till my children were both in school before I could say that I gave birth to them...because they were both C-section deliveries, I felt I couldn't say that I delivered them. I still catch myself referring to their births as "being taken out of me" or some other expression like that.
In my vocation as Mom, I can only see, most of the time all the things I did wrong, or didn't do, or omitted doing. My laundry list of things, most days, is pretty darned long. "I should have put that in their lunchbox...why did I forget that today was the day they needed X for school...I shouldn't have yelled at them...I should have disciplined for that...I shouldn't have disciplined for that...I should be reading more...I should be baking with them..I should be...I shouldn't be..."
All I can hear in my head, when I do do something right (oh, that rare event) is this voice saying "Yes, you did that, but you didn't do it this way, and you should have done that...and what about this over here? How dare you say you are a good parent?" It's like preparing a dinner or a recipe for someone, and instead of them just leaving it at "that was good" they have to point out that it was good, but it would taste better with this in it instead of that. Or, instead of thanking someone for a job well done, feeling the need to point out every little area that was not done right, not done "up to snuff" or something. Talk about taking the wind out of one's sails!
You know what is sad? I believe in the Doctrines of Grace. I do not believe you have to earn or work for God's grace, mercy, love or for our salvation. The whole point of the Gospel is that we cannot do it...the wonder is that God does it for us...beginning with the advent of His Son, and culminating in His death on the cross and resurrection. But yet...I struggle with who I am in Christ...I get stuck in seeing what is so wrong with myself now, that I struggle with how God can see me complete in His Son. That when He looks at me, I am forgiven, redeemed, restored, forgiven, transformed....and that all is grace.
I am forever holding myself to a standard I cannot ever hope to attain to, and that God Himself doesn't even hold me to. By doing this, I pay lip-service to believing that all is grace and God is grace and His mercy endures forever. My own name means grace, grace-filled, or graceful one! I am my own judge, jury and executioner...I bypass God, go directly to jail and do not collect $200. I make an idol out of the unattainable, set myself up for disappointment over and over, and is it any wonder I'm so short-fused with myself?
So for the past week, I've been not focusing on what I am not doing right, or what I am struggling/failing at (not to say that it doesn't matter at all), but instead have been choosing to zero in on what I am doing right and what I am having small victories in and what successes there are.
I am a good mom to my kids. I am not perfect, no one is. But I am a good mom, and I will NOT let the "fact" that I am not perfect keep me from thinking of myself as a good mom, or referring to myself as a good mom. I love my kids, I love to spend time with them, I think they are cool little people. Do I do all my baking with them? No. Sometimes I don't want them to, and sometimes they don't want to...sometimes, they want to watch and sometimes they want to chat with me while I do this or that. Do I lose my cool with them? Yes, and every mom does. But does that mean I'm not a good mom because I lose it once in awhile? No. Permit me to insert here, David was called "a man after God's own heart" and he wasn't perfect.
The reason my good enough is good enough, is because in God's eyes it IS good enough. He came for my good enough...and redeems it and shapes it and molds it and uses it for His glory and it's good enough. ALL is grace...even the messy, the imperfect, the not measured up to...all is grace because of His mercy and His wisdom taking those broken places and broken hearts and broken people and using them to display HIS glory, HIS mercy, HIS love, and HIS grace.
So I will shout it out loud: I AM a good mom...take that, Satan when you try and whisper in my ear that I shouldn't say that about myself...and try and make me a useless Christian by keeping me in bondage to your lies.
His grace is enough for my not good enough...and for my good enough.

Seven Quick Takes-Vol. VIII

1. I think I have all our Christmas shopping done! This year, we started buying gifts early, so we weren't rushing out last minute to get things. I like that.

2. I just need to take care of the teacher gifts, both for school and for Sunday School. I think I'm going to make those ones, plus I have some of my pickle stash left too...those are always a big hit.

3. I'm really not digging this "winter" weather we're having. For those of you not from around these here parts (!), I live in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. While we aren't living in igloos, skiing all year-round, skating and tobogganing to work every day, usually by this time of year we have some serious snow down, and can no longer see brownish-greenish stuff. We had snow, enough that we could make a snowman...but then it went up to about 12 C for a few days afterwards, and no snow. Now we have some but it's rather see-through. We've had a lot of rain. Which means that...

4. Dressing the kids for school in the morning is, shall we say, interesting. It can be cold enough to want hats, mitts, boots and snowsuits on in the morning, but by mid-day, it can be pretty darn warm out wearing all that stuff. And also? Because of the rain and not much snow, the playground at the kids' school is a mud-hole. So, I'm laundering snowsuits a lot...and hoping they will make it through to when if we get some serious "real" snow.

5. Reading that, I just realized how typically Canadian I am: I just discussed the weather and snow over 2 paragraphs. Eh?!

6. I picked up The Vinyl Cafe 4 CD Family stories set at Costco for a mere $12.99. Seriously?!!! The best. car. drives. ever!!!! I'm now on the 4th CD and am mid-way through Dave and the Duck. I would highly recommend The Vinyl Cafe to any of you, especially Dave Cooks the Turkey. Check it out on Youtube, and you, too, will have a good laugh!

7. Here's a little something I've been up to lately:

I made these today instead of doing housework.....

For more quick takes, pop on over to Jen's.

Early Advent Daybook

Outside My Window

It is rather overcast out this morning. Everything is kind of blanketed with a very thin blanket of snow...very thin...as in, almost see-through.

I Am Listening To

DD eating her breakfast bagel and the busyness of both children getting ready for school.

I Am Wearing

Dark jeans, dark chocolate cami, red-blend cashmere handkerchief-hem open-front cardigan...from Marks & Spencer!!!!

I Am Thankful For

The waiting of Advent...the silent counting of days anticipating Our Saviour's birth; for my husband the engineer who works hard and enjoys his job; for kids who make it all worth it; for friends.

I Am Pondering

Why I didn't get that magazine that had a picture of a cute hairstyle that would look awesome on me...I'm pondering this knowing I have no time to find it in a store on my way to get my haircut this morning. Dang.

I Am Reading

I haven't been reading much of anything lately. I've not been in a book-y or read-y mood lately. However, my large stack of books includes these:

Grace for the Good Girl, How to Read the Bible for All Its Worth, Lights, Camera, Disaster (McDonald Hall Gordon Korman book), The Praying Life.

I Am Thinking

Of the things I need to do today; of how I can swing by the drugstore and try and find that magazine with the picture of the cute hairstyle; of how yummy coffee is in the early morning; that this day will probably be a little crazy.

I Am Creating

I'm taking a break from creating...just till next Wednesday's Stamp Club that is! This week is too busy...and Kidz Choir Christmas play at church this weekend, with dress rehearsal as well, will keep the weekend full. Fun, but full.

On My Ipod

Same old, same old. But in the car CD player? The Vinyl Cafe on audio CDs...a 4 CD set that was $12.99 at Costco. Oh yes!!! I almost drove off the road laughing so hard yesterday at the story of Dave at the dentist...

Toward Rhythm & Beauty

I'm slowly finding a rhythm to my days...except for today, when I overslept by about 1.5 hours, thus missing my chunk of time for quiet coffee, prayer and meditating before the busyness of the day, it has been well this week, rhythm-wise.

Beauty wise: oh yes, the house is decorated for the season! The tree is up, and after finding 2 strings of lights not working (after putting them away all in working order in January when the tree came down), we bit the bullet and got all LED lights for the tree. It's a riot of red, green, vanilla, greenery, silver, and other seasonal and Christmas touches. I love it. Favourite colour combo for this time of year: cranberry red and silver. Bliss!

To Live the Liturgy

...because isn't that what matters, really? Isn't that what He's after in us, during this time of anticipating and waiting? To live His words. We are reading nightly, a gorgeous Jesse Tree Advent devotional, by Ann Voskamp. I love how each story points to the coming Messiah. I love how it weaves the Old Testament narratives into the coming of The Word, and the grace in it all. Each night we move the candle in the spiral one step closer to the 25th.

I Am Hoping & Praying
For continued personal growth & direction; for a couple of friends who are struggling right now; for peace on a couple of matters I'm wrestling with.

In the Garden
A typical Canadian garden in winter: brown, dead, and dormant, under a smattering of snow. I am wondering though, how the plants are faring in this schizophrenic weather we've been having...spring will tell the tale.

Around the House
Things are starting to get back into a routine here. Amazing what regulating sleep/wake patterns and determination will do! Just a few things to catch up on housework this week, perhaps a bit of baking to do, and getting ready for the kids' Christmas play this weekend. And perhaps an hour or so snuck here and there, curled up in a chair with a cup of coffee and a good book, good music, and gently falling snow...a girl can dream, right?